DISCUSSION No. 4a - THE SUBMISSION PHASE (Part II), Steps 6 & 7
Step No. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
1. After admitting our wrong thinking and wrong actions in step five we now do something more than "admit" or "confess."
2. We now become ready and willing to have God remove the defects in our character.
3. Remember it is our character we are working on. Not the other fellow's. Here is a good place to drop the critical attitude toward others - - the superior attitude toward others.
4. We must clean our mind of wrong thinking - - petty jealousy - - envy - - self pity - - remorse, etc.
5. Here is the place to drop resentments, one of the biggest hurdles the alcoholic had to get over.
6. What concerns us here is that we drop all thoughts of resentment: anger, hatred, revenge.
7. We turn our will over to God and let his will direct us how to patiently remove, one by one, all defects in our character.
Step No. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
The meaning of this step is clear: Prayer - Humility. There are three points to consider.
1. Prayer No man can tell another HOW to pray. Each one has, or works out for himself, his own method.
If we cannot pray, we just talk to God and tell him our troubles. Meditate (think clearly and cleanly) and ask God to direct our thoughts.
Christ said, "ask and ye shall receive." What method is simpler? - - merely ask.
If you cannot pray, ask God to teach you to pray.
2. Humility This simply is the virtue of being ourselves and realizing how small we are in a big world full of its own trouble.
Drop all pretense.
We must not be Mr. Big Shot - - bragging, boasting.
Shed false pride.
Tell the simple, plain, unvarnished truth.
Act, walk, and talk simply.
See the little bit of good that exists in an evil man; forget the little bit of evil that exists in a good man.
We must not look down on the very lowest of GOD'S creations or man's mistakes.
Think clearly, honestly, fairly, generously.
3. The shortcomings we ask GOD to remove are the very defects in character that make us drink - - the same defects we drink to hide or get away from.
DISCUSSION No. 4b - THE RESTITUTION PHASE, Steps 8 & 9
Step No. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Under this step we will make a written* list of those we have harmed.
We ask GOD to let his will be done, not OUR will, and ask for the strength and courage to become willing to forget resentments and false pride and make amends to those we have harmed. We must not do this step grudgingly, or as an unpleasant task to be rid of quickly. We must do it WILLINGLY, fairly, and humbly - - without condescension.
*The original Detroit pamphlet said "a list (mental or written),"
but the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions later made it clear that it needed to be written.
Step No. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Here is where we make peace with ourselves by making peace with those we have hurt. The amends we make must be direct. We must pay in kind for the hurt we have done them.
If we have cheated we must make restitution.
If we have hurt their feelings we must ask forgiveness from them.
The list of harms done may be long but the list of amends is equally long. For every wrong we have done, there is a right we may do to compensate.
There is only one exception. We must develop a sense of justice, a spirit of fairness, an attitude of common sense. If our effort to make amends would create further harm or cause a scandal, we will have to skip the direct amends and clean the matter up under Step Five.