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My Financial Advisor’s Investment Advice

Screaming Jay Hawkins put a spell on you. Of course, you can buy sex toys online, accessorize with a Chihuahua, spend your entire working life slaving in darkrooms whose musical outpourings conjure the fist-pumping melody of European death metal, but the smart investor pro-rates mortgage-backed liability structures, sips Chardonnay with a blissful actuarial bouquet.  If you read the data carefully, you will see that they indicate only one thing: Collateralized Debt Obligation necessarily inspires revenue-neutral derivatives exchange via lump-sum bond pooling.  You, my friend, are only lip-synching.  I can accept that, but a bear market prefers an armed clock to the earth's bullish axis spinning in mock mime.  I’m sure you can imagine a certain population who doesn’t want to join the boy scouts? I warn you, Wilson, for your own good, whatever you do, at all costs, do NOT leave the building.