Sara Biggs Chaney

S a r a   B i g g s  C h a n e y 

Ann Coulter’s Sonnet to Orpheus*

Creatures of silence emerged from lairs.

With infernal racial set-asides!

Little pipsqueak nations longing, darkly drear.

O pure ascendance, lionized on TV—

Bears similarity to a psychological disorder.

The Great Satan wearies this reverse hegemony.

Oh better Blacks, Broads, Griefparrazies! Oh Orpheus Sings!

Everywhere stillness, yet in abeyance—

It’s almost cute, the central element

faith plays in the left’s new religion.

Nor from any hint of fear, or lack of indoor plumbing.

Towering tree of facts and policies!

Brutal colorblind shriek! Dwindling Iran-Contra roar!

The temple at listening’s core a mere hut, impossible to sustain.

* Words of this mash-up are drawn from “The Sonnets to Orpheus" by Ranier Maria Rilke,

translated by Robert Hunter; "Top 5 Craziest or Most Racist Ann Coulter Quotes"

by Zerlina Maxwell; and "RWN's Favorite Ann Coulter Quotes", by John Hawkins.