You live in a world where entertainment, mindless distractions, and simple pleasures are necessary for a break from the monotony of life. Every day, you go to school, you engage in your class discussions, you answer questions, you write, you learn, and you leave. Some days there’s Spanish, which even now, as a junior in high school, you are hesitant to say you could speak confidently. These small breaks from the schedule are only temporary, so you always search for more. How did you grow to become the person you are today? As you scroll through the Youtube account you made when you got your first phone, you unlock core memories of the life you lived when you got exposed to the internet. You remember all the eras and the content creators you loved, as the key parts of their videos flood your mind.
You recall nostalgic flashbacks, bringing you back to the Mayfair Elementary School dark-grey, concrete courtyard during recess, right after lunch. In this memory, the weather is nice, a cooling breeze traveling on the wind as you sit on the ground by the gate where the entrance to the courtyard lies. You split your time between people-watching and burying your head in your cellular device, watching Aphmau’s and ItsFunneh’s roleplay videos, and KidsReact commenting on videos, games, and songs you have no strong opinions about.
Now, it's past your bedtime. You should be asleep, but you just can’t wait to watch a Joey Graceffa Minecraft video where he’s on a public server playing a prison-style game where he mines cobblestone and various ores to sell to upgrade his tools. Lying on top of your salmon-pink day bed with white sheets that contained patterns of vegetation and flowers, you’re hiding your phone and yourself under your light-pink covers, but the bright light of your phone, though on the darkest dimming setting, still shines through. As much as you try to contain yourself, the laughter and enjoyment slip past your lips, and your sister catches you giggling in the wee hours of the night.
In another memory, you’re walking to school with your nephew. You are in elementary school, and your house is close to where you attend. Ever since you moved and transferred schools, you are no longer driven, now a latchkey kid that is responsible for your own transportation. To fill up the awkward silence of passing houses and the beaming sun, you listen to a very particular form of music: Nightcore. This is before you have earphones, so you have the phone right next to your ear with the volume low. You’ve saved this playlist of random songs and genres you’ve never heard of before to cycle through every day.
The memories seep into each other, in no particular order, but each is a special and definitive moment in your life. Time passes, and then you discover other creators. You get into watching gaming videos, and comedy skit channels. You dive further into the deep sea of media that is Youtube, exploring video game gameplays of things you’ll never ask your parents to buy, Wengie’s school-supply candy pranks taking up your short attention span.
Despite the changes in the content you watched as you aged, you could always find yourself watching new or old Aphmau videos to see how she had changed or bask in the nostalgia. Some creators, though memorable, were not further explored as you grew out of the flesh and bones that were once obsessed with their videos. And though these experiences were seemingly unique to you at that time, there are probably hundreds or thousands of other people who can share in those same moments, moments that are gone but not forgotten, existing solely in the past.