I am told often by my family that I am not very affectionate. It is usually brushed off with jokes, “Oh you must not love me anymore” or “You must be too grown up now”. All though I can agree I am not as affectionate as others in my family I believe my affection is there. It’s there when my mother doesn’t feel well and I go down to the kitchen and I bring her up water or when she asks to watch a movie together even though I know she will fall asleep before its’s over but I’ll still agree. It’s there when I wake up in the middle of the night and look across the room and see my father sleeping in the living room instead of his bedroom and I bring him a blanket to cover him. My affection is there for my family but maybe they don’t see things like that as affection.
Maybe affection isn’t any of those things. Maybe it’s the I love you’s. The hugs my mother tries to give me or the cheek kisses my father tries to give me. Maybe it’s those things instead. I always wonder why my affection towards my family is called weird or standoff-ish. My mother will give me a hug before school and she always says “can you try and give me a better hug?” I don’t know what she means because to me I hug the same way I hug others but maybe that’s my perception of things. Maybe I do hug others differently but what does that mean? Does that mean I love my friends more than my family? Well as much as I appreciate my friends I don’t think that is the case. I believe when people tell you or force you to show affection it’s hard, it’s not a natural reaction or thing. You’re only doing it because you were told to. Not that I’m forced to show affection.
Although I feel as if my affection towards my family is good as is. I understand the importance of the “I love you’s”, the hugs, the little gifts you give to one another, I understand that. I also believe that the small actions you do are important as well and those should count too.