school note

“And as light as the rain seems, it still rains down on you.” But what if this “light rain” feels like a lot to me but not to other people. What should I do then? How do I stop this?

I have always wanted everything I do to be the best. Especially school work. So I push myself to make everything the best. Doing that has made everything come down harder on me. Assignments seem like they are more than what they should be and everything feels like it is not good enough. But does it feel like that for everyone?

 Maybe not but it still lives in the back of mind. How do I make this better? I go over everything multiple times, looking for something that could possibly be wrong. I make everyone look over it in hope they will find something.  Even if they tell me it's good I don't believe them. 

I need to get a good grade. I tell myself that with everything. I can’t do bad on this. I need to get good grades. That is all that goes through my head and it starts to over take my day. The stress catches up to me and hits all at once. Making it harder to put my best work in. 

But is this how everyone feels? 

Does it hit this hard for everyone?

  I sit there trying to do my school work but find myself lost because it feels like nothing I can come up with is good enough. I feel the rush of emotions come over me and there's no stopping it now. Not until I can get this done. But I can’t work like this. I feel the tears rush to my eyes and I try to blink them back but they come too fast. This isn’t my best.  Everyone tells me to take a step back and come back to it when I know I’m better. But do they feel this way?

Is this “light rain” to them? It feels like so much more to me. I know in the end I will get it done. But what if it is not my best. Will it make a difference?