After a feast, with a full belly, and with the air relaxed, I find myself unable to sleep. The heart is beating fast. The body warms itself, the food is being consumed. I feel irritated and have lost something that once was; my relaxation. My eyes, which were once cold and heavy, felt warm and heavy. I feel an insurmountable amount of anger, sadness, and anxiety. Will my lack of sleep make my actions chaotic? How do I stop myself? How do I realize? I began to sleep at 10PM, but it has been several minutes since then. Those minutes, now hours. It is now 11:30 PM. I knew the time, but to see it with my phone, made me feel ashamed. I start making promises to myself. Tomorrow, I’ll definitely sleep earlier. Tomorrow, I’ll definitely tire myself out. Tomorrow, I’ll definitely exercise to my full extent to do that. And these false promises work, I gain an unprecedented amount of motivation. So much so that now I find myself on my phone. Doing nothing but something. And I slightly glance at the time, and the shamefulness comes back tenfold. I say to myself: “This always happens, and it's so frustrating, but I simply cannot stop it. Or can I, but how? How do I go about that?” This reflection happens over and over again, until now, where it is 12:30 PM. At this point I’ve given up all hope, and I simply am forcing myself into a sleeping state. I try to stop myself from forcing myself, but I have no choice. Now it's 1AM, and it is finally the final straw. I simply give up. Give up doing everything and anything. And slowly, that is when I finally got the sleep I so desperately seeked. When I don’t even know that I’m within grasp of it. And again, this happens, again and again, it happens. Discipline is hard, when you don’t even know that first step needed to acquire it. And sometimes, it is simply impossible.