I’ve always had such a bad temper. I was raised to express my emotions no matter what I was feeling. I never felt shame in expressing my emotions until I started to improve mentally my late junior year of high school. Ever since I was a child it’s been such a huge obstacle controlling my emotional outbursts.
The smallest, and most irrelevant things could aggravate me and my temper would just escalate from there. It didn’t matter if it came from another person, a film, or social media. Literally anything under the sun could make me upset, and whatever choice I made in that moment of emotion, would affect my future leaving me in deep regret.
Anger is probably the most common emotion that I spent a lot of time with, along with pride and ignorance. If a person got me upset, or said something I didn’t like, I made sure to take things too far in a way that could damage a person with my words. There was this ongoing sense of ignorance and pride for not caring how I made others feel because I felt as though I was provoked first.
“When they go low, we go to hell,” was a phrase that lived in my head at all times. I’m not proud of it, and ashamed to say this is the person I was, and took pride in it. Fortunately, I started to grow out of this mindset in such a short amount of time. I decided to use my spring break of junior year to really work on myself mentally.
I practiced fighting the impulse of acting on emotion, and really taught myself to use distance as a reaction to things or people that could get me out of character. Being away from school really helped because the people in it really contributed to my temper, and why I was always so angry.