I hear my alarm at 6:00 am, 

6:05

6:10

6:20

6:30

6:40

6:50 

OMG it’s 6:50 and I need to get up. 

As I sit up from the bed I can feel the breeze through the open windows. Why I leave them open I have no clue. 

I hate chilly mornings. I hate the chills up my spine and feeling the cold floor with my bare feet. I love the warmth of my blankets and pillows. I love how soft and comforting the quiet of the city is in the early morning. I love when the mornings are quiet because I can hear myself think and I can actually breathe. I hate loud noises.

 Waking up has always been difficult, but some days it’s worse than others. Today feels like it’s going to be okay. I wake up to the sound of my tinkling alarm. I get ready and walk to the bus stop. I notice that recently the sun has been shining a little brighter which makes me smile a little harder. Once I reach the bus stop, it’s chaos. I decide to pop in my AirPods and listen to my music on the crowded bus. I walk into the train station and try not to get nauseous from the horrendous smell that I don't want to know where grew from. 

I sit down on the bus and go into my dream-like state. A state of mind I feel most comfortable in when I’m outside the house. Today was not a day like that as I step onto the train. My thoughts collided instead of merging. I can feel them coming up my throat the next thing I know a lady is sitting next to me with her little girl crying in her arms. As soon as she turns to me she apologizes for her child crying. I tell her it’s okay. In my mind, im thinking about how cute is her little girl. I have the urge to have a conversation with this woman.

 As I take a closer look her daughter's eyes slowly start to sparkle. Her mother seems relieved that her daughter has stopped crying. She handed her child a cookie and that seemed to brighten the little girl's mood more. Slowly the little girl starts looking at me and all I seem to do is internally scream about how cute she is. This little girl starts to kick me to grab my attention. The mom apologized for her daughter's actions. She says that “She’s usually never like this” I say “It’s okay im used to it. I have a little brother at home”.  

I get off the train and walk to Starbucks. I want the bitter-sweet taste of coffee but should I really be spending money? The interaction I had with the daughter and the mother lingers at the back of my mind. I wonder what it’s like to live one day in their life. What kind of things do they experience daily? I wonder how their relationship will develop over time. I wonder if it will be anything like my mom's and I’s. I wonder who will play her father in her life. I wonder so many things about strangers I will never meet again. Im walking through the streets deep in thought. The morning breeze is what’s grounding me from not completely going into my realm. I still hate this cool breeze, it isn’t any better than at home. It’s worse but there’s a sort of comfort that comes along with walking alone. It’s comforting being alone. I wonder if that little girl will enjoy walking alone.