Thought Note

Think and Think again.

 All I ever do is think.

Think of what already happened and has passed,  

Think about what is happening now, 

Think of what could’ve been and what is to come. 

Constantly thinking

 It’s what we all do. Some more than others, me more than the rest. 

Before doing anything 

Thinking of thousands of different things that could happen, things that could be said. Ways that things could go wrong and what to do if it goes wrong. Then thinking of a thousand more scenarios for every other thought up scenario. It’s always just scenario after scenario, what if after what if. My head becomes a class of children all disagreeing, each of them wanting different things and believing their wants are the most important and only right ones. Each path of  thought believing it is the only option.

All this thinking and thinking. 

Thinking until I think there is nothing left to think. 

But then 

 Thinking starts again.

Thought after thought never believing in the good scenarios, always disregarding them and assuming they are far fetched. As the thoughts flood in, I drift further into insanity. All this thinking about what to do and what will happen just to never actually do what I was thinking. 

For nothing that I was thinking would happen to ever actually end up happening. 

For something that I had never thought of to end up being the occurrence. 

All I ever do is think.

And all it does is take me away from sanity.

When will I finally realize

You

Can’t 

Drive

Yourself

SANE*

Includes a quote from Citizens By Claudia Rankine*