Fourth Graders Learn About Bully Behavior

Fourth graders continue their work on making Heathcote a "Bully Free Island". We discuss bully behaviors and what to do if you catch yourself using these behaviors. Bully behaviors (Such as such as gossiping, excluding, and teasing) are represented by the shark swimming around our island. We talk a lot about teasing and the difference between joking around with friends and teasing or making fun of someone. We read the story "Just Kidding" by Trudy Ludwig and discover that while kidding around can be a way of showing affection between friends or family members teasing at another's expense is hurtful. Often children will say "Just kidding", "You're too sensitive", or "Just joking" in an attempt to quickly move past the situation without thinking about the hurt caused. Once it's out there you can't make it go away by saying that it was a joke. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. You can't take the wrinkle out of a paper heart.

If you find yourself using bully behavior:

1. Realize it and make a change

2. Apologize

3. Practice showing empathy and concern for others.

Don't be a wrinkle in someone's heart!

Homework: Talk at home about the teasing do's and don'ts attached and how they can be incorporated at home and in other settings as well.

Teasing Do's and Don'ts

DO:

Be careful with others' feelings.

Use humor gently and carefully.

Ask whether teasing about a certain topic hurts someone's feelings.

Accept teasing from others if you tease.

Tell others if teasing about a certain topic hurts your feelings.

Know the difference between friendly, gentle teasing and hurtful ridicule.

Try to read others' "body language" to see if their feelings are hurt – even when they don't tell you.

Help others when they are being teased or ridiculed.

DON'T:

Tease someone you don't know well.

Tease about a person's body.

Tease about a person's family members.

Tease about a topic when someone asked you not to.

Tease someone who seems agitated or who you know is having a bad day.

Be thin-skinned about teasing that is meant in a friendly way.

Swallow your feelings about teasing. Tell someone in a direct and clear way what is bothering you.