As a parent

we all want whats best for our young'ins but It isn’t always easy to differentiate between normal teenage growing pains and depression.

Is my teen depressed?

While occasional bad moods or acting out is to be expected during the teenage years, depression is something different. The negative effects of teenage depression go far beyond a melancholy mood. Depression can destroy the essence of your teen's personality, causing an overwhelming sense of sadness, despair, or anger. Many rebellious and unhealthy behaviors or attitudes in teenagers can be indications of depression. The following are some the ways in which teens “act out” in an attempt to cope with their emotional pain.

Is it depression or "growing pains"?

If you're unsure if your teen is depressed or just “being a teenager,” consider how long the symptoms have been going on, how severe they are, and how different your teen is acting from their usual self. Hormones and stress can explain the occasional bout of teenage angst—but not continuous and unrelenting unhappiness, lethargy, or irritability.

How to help a depressed teenager

Depression is very damaging when left untreated, so don't wait and hope that worrisome symptoms will go away. If you suspect that your teen is depressed, bring up your concerns in a loving, non-judgmental way. Even if you're unsure that depression is the issue, the troublesome behaviors and emotions you're seeing are signs of a problem that should be addressed.

Open up a dialogue by letting your teen know what specific depression symptoms you've noticed and why they worry you. Then ask your child to share what they're going through—and be ready and willing to truly listen. Hold back from asking a lot of questions (most teenagers don't like to feel patronized or crowded), but make it clear that you're ready and willing to provide whatever support they need.

Help tip 1: Encourage social connection

Depressed teens tend to withdraw from their friends and the activities they used to enjoy. But isolation only makes depression worse, so do what you can to help your teen reconnect.

Help tip 2: Make physical health a priority

Physical and mental health are inextricably connected. Depression is exacerbated by inactivity, inadequate sleep, and poor nutrition. Unfortunately, teens are known for their unhealthy habits: staying up late, eating junk food, and spending hours on their phones and devices. But as a parent, you can combat these behaviors by establishing a healthy, supportive home environment.

Help tip 3: Know when to seek professional help

Support and healthy lifestyle changes can make a world of difference for depressed teens, but it's not always enough. When depression is severe, don't hesitate to seek professional help from a mental health professional with advanced training and a strong background treating teens.

Help tip 4: Support your teen through depression treatment

As your depressed teenager goes through treatment, the most important thing you can do is to let them know that you're there to listen and offer support. Now more than ever, your teenager needs to know that they're valued, accepted, and cared for.

Help tip 5: Take care of yourself(and the rest of the family)

As a parent, you may find yourself focusing all your energy and attention on your depressed teen and neglecting your own needs and the needs of other family members. However, it's extremely important that you continue to take care of yourself during this difficult time.

Above all, this means reaching out for much needed support. You can't do everything on your own so enlist the help of family and friends. Having your own support system in place will help you stay healthy and positive as you work to help your teen.

How to communicate with a depressed teen

Focus on listening, not lecturing. Resist any urge to criticize or pass judgment once your teenager begins to talk. The important thing is that your child is communicating. You'll do the most good by simply letting your teen know that you're there for them, fully and unconditionally.

Be gentle but persistent. Don't give up if they shut you out at first. Talking about depression can be very tough for teens. Even if they want to, they may have a hard time expressing what they're feeling. Be respectful of your child's comfort level while still emphasizing your concern and willingness to listen.

Acknowledge their feelings. Don't try to talk your teen out of depression, even if their feelings or concerns appear silly or irrational to you. Well-meaning attempts to explain why “things aren't that bad” will just come across as if you don't take their emotions seriously. Simply acknowledging the pain and sadness they are experiencing can go a long way in making them feel understood and supported.

Trust your gut. If your teen claims nothing is wrong but has no explanation for what is causing the depressed behavior, you should trust your instincts. If your teen won't open up to you, consider turning to a trusted third party: a school counselor, favorite teacher, or a mental health professional. The important thing is to get them talking to someone.

How it is connected with social media use

Some studies draw a connection between teen depression and social media use. Teens that spend more time on social media tend to report higher rates of depression than their peers. Several explanations may explain this connection:

Online interactions may be emotionally unsatisfying or increase fear of missing out (FOMO). For example, your teen may see images of their peers enjoying time together and feel excluded.
Teens on social media may spend lots of time comparing their looks and their lives with those of their peers. This can damage self-esteem.
Spending time on social media may decrease the amount of time your teen spends being physically active or developing skills. Some studies show that a sedentary lifestyle can have a negative effect on mental health.
Too much time on social media may interfere with your teen's sleep routine, indirectly affecting their mood.

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