Each incident of bullying behavior is unique and should be considered individually. Below are some common examples of reported behaviors that may or may not be bullying behaviors.
Example 1: My daughter was being teased today because of her outfit. Another girl called my daughter ugly.
Is this bullying behavior? If this was the only time the child had been teased by the other girl, then no, this is not a bullying situation because it is not a repeated behavioral act. If the child had been teased by this girl in the past and there is a pattern of behavior, it may be considered bullying behavior. It is still advisable to report the concerns to the school.
Example 2: My son got into a fight today at school with another boy. The other boy had been calling him names, and my son was standing up for himself.
Is this bullying behavior? Typically, a fight is not bullying behavior. A fight is a fight, and this would be managed as physical aggression behavior. The name calling may have been bullying behavior (see Example 1), but it is not justifiable to fight.
Example 3: My son is regularly being called names by a group of other boys. They make fun of him because of his weight, his glasses, and because he is smart. This has been going on for several weeks in classes and in the hallways.
Is this bullying behavior? Yes. This is repeated behavior over time and it fits the definition of bullying. The student and/or parent should immediately report the concerns to the school.
Example 4: A girl in my daughter’s math class is bullying her by calling her stupid.
Is this bullying behavior? Calling a student “stupid” one time is not bullying behavior. It is mean behavior and not appropriate. If this is part of an ongoing, repeated pattern of name calling directed at the daughter by the specific student, then it may be a form of bullying behavior. In either case, it is still advisable to report the concerns to the school.
Example 5: A group of girls is bullying my son on social media. They are calling him names, and they are threatening to have another boy beat him up.
Is this bullying behavior? From this brief example, it appears that the group has been doing this behavior over time, and the group is making direct threats. This type of behavior frequently is referred to as “cyberbullying.” Parents should save copies of the messages (by printing or saving screen shots) and contact their local police authority. Unless the messages on social media were generated at school or the threat to beat up the student was explicitly stated to take place at school, the school may have no authority over the situation. However, because of the potential negative impact on the student and a possibility that it could “spill over” to the school from home, it is advisable to contact the school with your concerns.