• Helping Kids Kick the "Helpless" Habit

• Fellow parents… raise your hand if you ever feel the overwhelming sense of irritation when your child asks you (maybe for the fifteenth time) to do something he or she can totally do for themselves.

• Is your hand up in the air? Take comfort – you’re not alone!

• All families deal with helplessness from time to time. If feigned helplessness is a once-in-a-blue moon occurrence at your house – no big deal. We all have our moments!

• However, if your child acts helpless on a daily basis for things he can and should be doing for himself, it’s time to put the brakes on that behavior!

• The type of helplessness we need to reign in is when kids ask (demand, whine for) us to do things they are perfectly capable of doing for themselves. Depending on the age of your child, it might be something like, “Daaaaaad, I need you to ‘butter my bread’, ‘tie my shoe’, or ‘get me a juice box.’”

• You KNOW they can do it. THEY know they can do it. They are choosing to act helpless to keep you at their beck and call – to get you to jump through hoops to meet their whims and demands.

• This kind of helplessness is called Special Service and it’s a classic power struggle.

• It’s not only aggravating – it creates unrealistic expectations for your child that their every wish will be granted, and that’s not healthy for anyone!

Healing the Heart ~ by Christine Fonseca https://christinefonseca.com/ https://christinefonseca.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/COVID19-Pandemic-ebook-1.pdf

If you missed the free parent webinar on April 7 here are a few key points from the author about helping your child overcome toxic stress and trauma especially during COVID-19.

• We are ALL in this together. Take it a day at a time. You are NOT ALONE. This will pass.

• Have your child put a hoola hoop around them and discuss what's inside the hoop he/she can control. Work on what's inside the hoop.

• If a family member dies have the child lead the questions. Be careful not to discuss what may be over the child's head or the child is not ready to process/discuss/understand.

• Look for ways to be a hero each day. Whether it be unloading the dishwasher, feeding the family pet, or calling to check on a grandparent. Find small ways to have a big impact on those around you.

• Make cards that show what a feeling looks like; discuss what the emotion actually feels like; and finally discuss ways to help with the feeling. (It's all part of reconnecting mind and body) (ex. mindfulness, yoga, breathe app, tappingsolution)

• DANCE~ Make a TIK TOK video!!! Dance is one of the easiest ways for the mind and body to reconnect. Have fun with each other, laugh, and know this WILL pass.

I suffer whenever I see that common sight of a parent or senior imposing his opinion and way of thinking and being on a young soul to which they are totally unfit. Cannot we let people be themselves, and enjoy life in their own way? You are trying to make . . . another you. One’s enough.

Ralph Waldo Emerson