Level 6

      Cynthia in My Life

           When I came to this country, I had big dreams with plans to study English and later become a nurse. However, I didn’t know anything about culture shock and nobody told me how to function in this new world. I quickly had to put away my dreams, because responsibility came first. Fifteen years later, I met a great human, my professor Cynthia Thornburgh. She taught me what culture shock was, explained how people felt about learning the English language, and exposed me to a new learning environment. This influenced me for the rest of my life.
I still remember my first day of classes, in March of 2008. I was eighteen years old and ready to conquer the world. The English that I learned in my country was completely different though, and the pronunciation killed me. I felt so small, embarrassed, sad, disappointed, and insecure. I had to start from the beginning, so I quit. After a while, I became pregnant with my twins. When they were born, I had to stay in a hospital for two months. I couldn’t communicate with the doctors and nurses. I realized that I had to learn English due to all of my feelings of frustration.  I experienced great difficulty convincing my then husband that I needed to continue my educational goals, so I went to school secretly for 3 months. I had to walk in the cold weather, sometimes in the rain with my babies. When my husband began to ask questions, I had to quit.  But I knew that this was the land of opportunities, and there was one for me.
Ten years later, I remarried. My husband supported me going back to school. I prepared to earn my GED in Spanish, and in disbelief I earned my diploma after just one year.  I then decided to go back to studying English, but a few months later, I wanted to quit again. This time it was because I was unable to express myself in the language. By chance or fate, I met Cynthia in the ESOL office. I spoke to her of my worries, and she smiled and gave me some advice. The last words that she said were, “trust in the process.” I kept her words close, and I continued.
After a few months, I was done with my level five of English, and I was supposed to be in writing level six. I ended up in a communication class instead, and my teacher was Cynthia. When I saw her, I felt so much peace because I knew that she would share great life lessons with me. She started to teach us about culture shock, and then I realized that this happened to everybody. Cynthia told us that sometimes some ESOL students feel that they are not smart enough. Instead, we should  be proud to be bilingual.  She created a program called “evaluation class,” where you visited college courses on campus, so you could evaluate your level of English. You could meet students and new teachers,  learn a bit of a specific subject and walk through what you may want to study in the future. The goal for me was not only to feel confidence in the language use but also feel confident in being part of the academic learning community. At the beginning of the program, I was shy, but when I ended my project I felt so empowered because I had recovered a part of me; a part I placed in a box long ago.
Being a student of Cynthia’s has changed me in many ways. I don’t want to quit classes anymore. I don’t feel sad, dumb or insecure about learning another language. I feel capable. I am finishing my first essay in tears because I thought that I would never be able to do it. For all who want to learn another language, I want you to know that you are beyond intelligent and more than capable of doing it;  just “trust in the process”.

Written by: Esmeralda Celeste Corral Flores   

  Do Not Give Up

     It was Wednesday afternoon and we had finished class. Ali, who is my new college friend, invited me to drink coffee. In a previous conversation, he had said, “I haven't spoken Turkish to anyone for 14 months. I'm very bored here. I'm very depressed.” After that  conversation, an invitation for coffee was exactly what I was waiting for. All that he said reminded me of my struggle with myself and my loneliness a year and a half before. He should’ve realized that we only have one life, and every sunrise is a new chance to live it. While drinking coffee with Ali, I was happy to realize that sharing my brief history with him made him feel relaxed.

     When I came here, I was 26 years old, very young and eager to try and learn everything. But the circumstances and my hopes did not want to follow the same path, and I shelved all my hopes and ambitions indefinitely. That was because, at that time, I was living with my sister and she had newborn babies. They were twins, and for three years my sister needed my help to take care of them. I loved my nephews very much and was always happy to do it, but also at that time I was supposed to start my new life. To be honest, I couldn’t start it.

      After three years,  I got married in 2019. I thought my life would start over again, and this time it would be different. I was going to start my English education, which was my first goal, and I had a wonderful supporter, my husband. It partially happened. I started classes, but again I could not finish them, this time because of financial difficulties. 

     At the end of two years like this, I no longer had any hope of achieving anything in myself, or even any enthusiasm for life. It was as if I kept myself in interrogation rooms for long hours every day. At the age of 32, I kept asking who I was, what I had done so far, and why I couldn't do anything until now. Was I an idiot? I couldn't learn the language of the country I have been living in for 6 years. I always wanted my husband with me at every doctor's appointment, or when I wanted to order a coffee. 

     After that, I realized that I was very unmerciful to myself. I couldn't change anything in the past, but I could change my future, and I had only one chance to live an enjoyable life.  I said to myself,  “Do not give up Selma.” 

     In 2021, I decided to embark on a new chapter in my life. I took some online classes about my interest, which is art history, and that year, I started to work as a chocolatier at a nonprofit coffee and chocolate store. I tried to become a more social person. All those things helped me to rebuild myself again.

     Finally, after a long and tough road, I am on the right path. Every day is a new chance to catch up on life. Don't wait to start living it. 

Written by: Selma Yazici 

Reading 6 students read the book The Giver, by Lois Lowry. Here are some of their reviews: