Simple Tips For Better Writing

QUOTES AND ATTRIBUTIONS

Endgame: When the last graph of your story has a quote with multiple sentences, consider breaking up the quote with the attribution rather than leaving the attribution at the end. This way, you leave your reader with something more interesting to think about than “he said.” For example: “My garden has always given me lots of peace and time for reflection,” Joe said. “It was the best thing I ever did.”

Just saying: Variety is good, but it’s not necessarily beneficial in attributions. Writers sometimes will use “explained” at the end of a quote, such as in “…, Joe Smith explained.” Most times, “said” works just as well. And unless Joe Smith was trying to clarify or detail something in order to make it plain or understandable, then “explained” seems out of place. “Stated” or “added” often don’t add anything, either. “Said” works just as well and helps move the reader to the next sentence.

Says who? In a multi-sentence quote from a new speaker, see if you can add the attribution after the first sentence instead of leaving it dangling at the end of the paragraph. This makes clear who is speaking, which is particularly important in a story with multiple sources.

Attribution : Best practice is to say “Person said” instead of “said Person” after a quote. But … if the quote is followed by a person’s name and then a longish title, DON’T put “said” at the end; put it before the person’s name. For example, don’t do this: “The dog found its way back home,” Joe Smith, Jonesville County animal care director, said. Instead, write it this way: “The dog found its way back home,” said Joe Smith, Jonesville County animal care director.

Note: If quoting a source again many paragraphs after first mentioning them, consider adding a few words to reintroduce the person; for example, "Smith, the police chief, said …" This works in multi-source stories to help readers keep the speakers straight.

GRAMMAR GAFFES

Be sure the noun agrees in number with the antecedent. If you’re not sure what that means, think of it this way: If the noun is singular, so should whatever it stands for — the “antecedent” — in the sentence. Here’s an example of an incorrect way to handle this (unfortunately via AP): “The FDA said that they do not recommend ingesting this product.” The correct form is this: “The FDA said that it does not recommend ingesting this product.”

Who they are: People are referred to in all circumstances as “who” and not “that.” So, tempting as it might be, don’t write “The politicians that voted for a pay raise.”

Singular vs. plural: If it’s a single entity — a company, for example — refer to it as “it” and not “they.” For example, “The company said it is on track for the current quarter.”

WORDINESS

Watch out for gerunds: No, gerunds aren’t a kind of hamster. They’re verbs that act as nouns and have an “ing” ending. That’s a hyper-simple explanation, but all you need to know is that they can be overused and inflate sentences unnecessarily. For example: “They are planning on having dinner at 7 p.m.”; this would be shorter and better as “They plan to have dinner at 7 p.m.” Another example: “The police are going to be releasing the information soon.”: it’s shorter and better as “The police will release the information soon.”

There are wasted words: The phrase “there are” can be a tipoff that you’ve got wasted words in a sentence. For example, “There are a number of students who are taking part in the class.” This can be shorter, and clearer — and in active voice — as “A number of students are taking part in the class.”

Short takes:

— has made the decision; make it: has decided

— every single player; make it: every player

— studies show a total of 42 percent of students; make it: studies show 42 percent of students

— those people who have the disease; make it: people who have the disease

— is in the process of looking for; make it: is looking for

— in order to get a good job; make it: to get a good job

— work in partnership with the city; make it: work with the city

— will need to be filled out; make it: must be filled out

— they are planning on making; make it: they plan to make

— there were five people in the house; make it: five people were in the house

— during the previous 24-hour period; make it: during the previous 24 hours

— he is going to; make it: he will

— in a speech delivered Wednesday; make it: in a speech Wednesday

— the store is located at (address); make it: the store is at (address)

— for a period of 17 days before the election; make it: for 17 days before the election

— younger than 21 years old; make it: younger than 21

— spoke in opposition to the measure; make it: spoke against the measure

— a short amount of time; make it: a short time

— they are hopeful it will happen; make it: they hope it will happen

— they are planning on making; make it: they plan to make

REDUNDANCY

Whether report: In most cases, the phrase “whether or not” can drop the “or not” and work just fine. If you’re in the habit of writing “whether or not,” stop and read the sentence out loud to see if the “or not” really is needed.

Possibly redundant: “The situation could possibly change.” Remove “possibly,” and the meaning is the same.

Quick quick hits:

— “They are currently planning the event”; remove “currently” for a tighter sentence.

— “A total of nine people attended the event”; removing “a total of” usually works fine.

— “For a prolonged period of time”; just “for a prolonged period” is sufficient.

— “Police officials said”; just “police said” is all that’s usually needed.

— Time period: Just “period” is clear.

— “And also”: You typically don’t need them both together.

— "Dead body:" The word "body" implies that it's a dead person.

CLARITY COUNTS

Stormy supposition: A weather story stated that a storm was “supposed to hit.” “Supposed to” is a colloquial expression that works fine in conversation, but here it seems to suggest the snowstorm is obligated to hit. “Expected” works better.

Wait for it …: In stories or headlines, don’t make readers wait until the end to find out what the action is: “Testimony on whether Joe Smith can proceed with his $2 million housing project in the affluent Jones neighborhood south of downtown is continuing.” Sentences (and headlines) that push the verb toward the end can be confusing and make readers feel antsy. In this example, the verb phrase “is continuing” could easily be moved to right after “Testimony” and eliminate that issue.

injured after: Someone hurt in a crash wasn’t injured after it but during it. So write, for example, “Two teens were injured when their car struck a guardrail.”

Where has the day gone: Keep the time element close to the action. It helps clarify when the action actually took place.

Not good: The City Council voted to allow residents to put out their garbage an hour earlier on Dec. 12.

Better: The City Council voted Dec. 12 to allow residents to put out their garbage an hour earlier.

Bonus: You don’t need to add “on” if it’s not needed for clarity. For example, in “The council is to vote on Tuesday …” the word “on” is just an added word that clogs up the sentence. However, “on” can help with clarity when your sentence would otherwise have a couple proper nouns together: “The council will talk with Jones on Tuesday …”

Shorter not better: Avoid abbreviations as shorthand for long names of entities, such as committees, health agencies, etc. Unless readers are readily familiar with an abbreviation, using it will not improve a sentence.

For example, a writer might be tempted to take “the Smithville Community Center Health Board” and make it “the SCCHB” on second reference; however, a reader who’s never heard of that agency might well stumble and falter not knowing what the abbreviation means. Use of abbreviations can make your story seem like alphabet soup.

A solution? Use ordinary words on second and subsequent references. In the example above, a writer could call the agency “the health board” on second reference and “the board” after that.

Says AP: “Do not use abbreviations or acronyms that the reader would not quickly recognize.” BONUS by AP: “Abbreviations and most acronyms should be avoided in headlines.”

UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES

Don’t bump your head on dangling modifiers: For instance, “Climbing the mountain, the wind was fierce and dangerous.” The wind wasn’t climbing the mountain, but that's what sentence says. An easy fix: “As I climbed the mountain, the wind was fierce and dangerous.”

Use quotes “carefully”: Sometimes, the fragmented use of quote marks can convey unintended suspicion or irony in a statement. Take for example: The mayor might “consider” voting on the matter. Some may read that to mean the mayor might not be seriously considering a vote. Consider whether quote marks are even needed.

Location, location: Where you place the time element in a sentence can unintentionally change its meaning. For instance, “The governor defended his delay in issuing a stay-at-home order Thursday.” This sounds as if the governor issued the stay-at-home order Thursday — which, in this case, was not accurate. The sentence would’ve been correct this way: “The governor on Thursday defended his delay in issuing a stay-at-home order.”

Untimely element: Where you place the time element can give an unintended meaning to a sentence in other ways. A couple stories had this sort of construction: “The officials announced that 20 people died from the coronavirus during a news conference Friday.” Of course, the people didn’t die during a news conference, but the sentence could be read that way. Better: “Twenty people died from the coronavirus, officials announced at a news conference Friday.”

Mortifying modification: Another sentence contained this sort of construction: “The building was renovated after Smith’s death by his wife.” The phrase “death by his wife” can give the reader the wrong (hopefully) impression. Better: “Smith’s wife renovated the building after his death.”

TAKE A STEP BACK

Be on guard against letting the emotional or empathetic feelings you have about a story cause you to lose focus or overly identify with its subject. If you have strong feelings of excitement, admiration, sympathy, disgust, etc. that’s normal and good, especially with the sorts of stories that will have a strong impact on readers. But if those feelings overly influence your writing, you risk letting that interfere with your role as a reporter and storyteller. The facts of your story and your work to deliver them in a clear, direct and insightful way will provide all that readers need to connect in the best way with your story and its subjects.

So if you see yourself starting to add expressive adjectives to your story — “wonderful,” “marvelous,” “horrible,” etc. — take a step back and a breath before continuing.

Let readers feel their own emotions and reach their own conclusions without suggesting them. A Patch editor shared a good change he made to remove a writer’s description of an event as : “It's better to undersell a story like this, meaning not to add adjectives telling people how to feel and when. If there's an emotional undercurrent in the story, the readers will find it without your help.” Loaded words can undermine your storytelling perspective and make it seem as if we’re pandering to readers’ feelings, such as:

— “tragic accident”

— “gruesome details”

— “heart-warming”

— “sadly”

— “hardworking”

— “vicious”

BITS AND PIECES

between you and me: Use “between” when talking about two people or entities; use “among” for three or more. For example: “The arguing between Smith and Jones spilled out into the street. However, the arguing among the spectators remained in the bar.”

will vs. is to: Remember that you’re reporters, not forecasters. So don’t write that somebody “will do” something if there’s a possibility that action won’t occur. Instead, say “is to” do something or “is expected to” to something.

will try and vs. will try to: Avoid writing “will try and.” Correct: “The council will try to approve the budget soon.”

Say again? Watch out for repeated full first references to people. These understandably can occur during updates and revisions, but they are very noticeable, distracting and likely to undermine a reader’s confidence in your story.

will be doing something: This, and its myriad forms — “will be conducting,” “will be investigating,” “will be discussing,” etc. — often can be shortened so they’re simpler and clearer by taking the “will be” construction and reducing it to “will.” So, for example, police “will investigate,” the council “will discuss,” etc.

Formal vs. informal writing: The style and tone of your writing should match the subject matter. In most cases, that means sticking to either formal writing or informal writing. In most news stories, the wording should be formal — for example, avoiding contractions that denote informality, such as “it’s” and “that’s,” or the use of “says” for attributions.

Last but not least: When rereading your stories, take a particularly close look at the last graph. That’s often a likely place where overlooked errors dwell.