Welcome!

Welcome parents and caregivers, thank you for visiting our site! Storytelling and discussion are important to how children learn about the world around them; through this project we hope to provide resources to help raise open-minded and socially just children. We hope to provide an opportunity for you and your children to learn about and discuss gender bias and stereotyping through the power of narrative.

What are gender stereotypes and why are they a problem?

What are they? Gender stereotyping is when certain traits, roles, or appearances are associated with one gender or another at a level which represents the cultural expectations and expressions of that gender at an extreme. This does not make them an accurate representation of members of any gender, as they do not adequately reflect the real-world diversity of gender presentation and expression that occurs. Stereotypes come from the need to simplify the world around us, but they are harmful when they are overapplied or applied too rigidly.

Why are they harmful? Stereotypes create pressure to reflect the cultural norm of gender as children and adolescents are taught, through exposure to ideas about each gender, how to express the gender they are expected to. This pressure can be detrimental when it causes people to shape their identities to reflect rigidly held stereotypes, which creates known health risks. For example, many of us may be familiar with the idea of toxic masculinity, which results from the stereotype that men shouldn't be open with their emotions. This not only can hinder social relationships but has adverse effects on mental health.

What does this have to do with kids? Children begin developing beliefs about gender before they even reach preschool, which is why we must have discussions about gender and gender stereotypes with children early on. Narratives with gender stereotypes are all around us, so it’s important to confront these messages with our children through discussion and through exposure to a variety of books and media to present them with diverse examples of gender presentation.

Let's Play at the Park!

Let's Play at the Park! provides children with examples of diverse gender presentation with the aim of normalizing diverse gender expression. It follows four children who are trying to decide what to play together. Alex, Avery, River, and Bailey are all good friends who play together at their local park, and they are having trouble agreeing on a game to play. Will they be able to come to an agreement?

Discussion Guide

Let's Play at the Park! provides children with examples of diverse gender presentation as each character presents gender differently and in ways that counter gender stereotypes. Providing children media with diverse representation is important as it helps to counter the gender-stereotypical narratives often present in children's books and media, but reading alone isn't enough to counter gender stereotyping: children may miss the messages implicitly provided in this book or they may be overwhelmed by the more direct, gender-stereotypical media that is so present in children's entertainment. It is important to discuss what you have read with your child in order to address any biases or stereotypes they may have already begun to develop. Here are some questions and discussion starters to help foster conversation about gender and gender stereotyping with children:

Ask your child what they think about the characters' appearances, preferred games, or behavior. You may find that your child has ideas about whether or not a character can or cannot like or wear something because of their gender. Ask why they think that is and take the opportunity to provide examples of people you or your child know that may challenge gender biases in similar ways. Avoid using general language such as “girls can like sports too” or “boys can wear dresses too.” Instead, use specific, individual language, for example, “This is Avery. She likes baseball.” Avoid pointing out how the characters defy specific gender stereotypes, as this can reinforce the stereotype rather than the idea that these stereotypes are inaccurate and should be rejected.

Share your own experiences with gender bias. It’s important to acknowledge the gender biases that you have, as well as how you have been impacted by the gender biases others hold. Admitting our own biases can teach children that it’s okay and important to recognize when we have biases, and to talk about them so we can learn and change for the better. For example, if a child says that boys can’t wear dresses, you might discuss a time when you had a similar bias, and how you learned and changed, and what you know now — that people can wear what makes them comfortable and happy, because clothing isn’t limited by gender. You might also talk about trends in how gender is presented in media that they may have seen (books, movies, TV shows, etc.), and how this may have influenced how they think about gender so that they can recognize this influence and create a more inclusive idea going forward.

Reflect on your experiences and on the book with your child. Talking to your children is one of the most important things you can do for their development. What you talk about and how you talk to them about it matters too. Read the book with them repeatedly and discuss it and its message often. Ask them questions and engage them in dialogue in elaborative manner: recast their response and then expand on it to communicate your thoughts while acknowledging their contributions to the conversation. Ask questions that add information and build on your child's response. Don't push for a response if your child doesn't give you one, pause and let them think, but if they don't have a response, provide your own and carry on.

So, how should discussions about the book look?

Talking about complex topics like this with young children can be complicated, but these conversations are important, so it's worth the challenge. Each conversation will look different as every child will react uniquely to the book and you will have your own unique, individual experiences to share. The discussion guide above provides guidelines on how to address the topic of gender bias and stereotyping, but how could these strategies look in a reflective conversation about the book?

Avoids pointing out how characters defy specific stereotypes and avoids using general language: Rather than pointing out how Alex goes against stereotypical representations of young boys, the parent asks about what activities Alex was doing and what he was playing with and relates them to activities the child enjoys. The parent doesn't generalize Alex's behavior or preferences either, there is no, "So boys can play tea party too?" from the parent. If the child were to bring up how they thought it was odd or unusual for Alex to be playing with a tea set, address it as explained in the discussion guide: ask why they thought that, share your own thoughts and discuss what may have caused them to have that bias or stereotype, and explain how that stereotype is not a good representative for boys because anyone can play with a tea set.

Elaborative: The sample dialogue shows a conversation about one of the characters, Alex, and his tea set. The parent engages the child in an elaborative style, rephrasing and building off of the child's responses, and asking follow-up questions to guide the conversation.

Sample dialogue about a character's preferred toy:

Parent: "What was Alex playing with when he first got to the park?"

Child: "A tea pot and cups."

P: "Yes, he was playing with a little tea set. Why do you think Alex had a tea set?"

C: [silent]

P: "I think he brought it so they could all play tea party together: he said it was his favorite game. You play tea party too, don't you?"

C: "With my stuffies!"

P: "Right, you like to play tea party with all your stuffies. Is tea party your favorite game, too?"

About the Author

Jo is a third-year student at Pacific University. She is currently pursuing a bachelor's degree in psychology and plans to earn a professional degree in psychology in the future. She currently lives in Oregon with her family and her incredibly fluffy dog, Aster.

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