Cindy Z.

I’m Kuronuma Sawako. Most people call me Sadako because of my appearance. They think that I’m similar to Sadako from “The Ring” (a movie) and they think I can see spirits and ghosts. I really can’t see any ghosts or spirits. I think that they run away from me because I can’t live up to their expectations. Only my parents and my friends, Chizu-chan, Ayane-chan, Kurumi-chan, Sanada-kun, and Kazehaya-kun, know that my name is Sawako. Everyone else calls me Sadako. Now to put that a side, it’s almost Christmas!

I walked into the classroom debating whether I should put my name on the paper that was hanging from the blackboard or not. Maybe I should ask for permission, I thought. Then someone else walked in. Kazehaya-kun. Oh no, I’m getting too nervous and he didn’t even start talking yet. I kept staring at the paper and tried to avoid his glance.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were still here,” he said.

Silence.

“So...ummm, Kuronuma, are you going to the party on Christmas Eve?” Kazehaya-kun asked, interrupting the awkward silence in the room.

I took a minute or two to think about it. It felt like a long pause. I could tell that he was waiting for me to answer. I knew he was getting more impatient the longer I took to think.

“U-Ummm… s-sorry, but I don’t think I can,” I replied, stuttering. I was so nervous. I was all alone in the classroom with Kazehaya-kun, the boy that I liked. He wasn’t aware of my feelings for him.

“Why?!”

He sounded a little mad. I knew that he was upset after I said that. Afterall, he was the first one to notice what I’m always doing. He was the first one who called me by my real name. He was my very first friend. He was...he was... Before I knew it, tears started forming in my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he reached to wipe away a tear. The tears that were rapidly falling down my face. I turned away quickly to avoid his touch. Then, I turned back to face him.

“I r-really want to go, b-but I’ve always celebrate Christmas with my parents. M-My dad really enjoys it.” There, I said it. What is he going to say now?! I’m scared!

To my surprise, he took my hands and held them.

“Please!” he began, “Please come. You want to go so you should come to the party. We all want you to come. Yano, Yoshida, me, and probably Ryu. We want you to come to the party. It will be a lot of fun.” He held my hands tighter.

I nodded my head as tears streamed down my face, “Yes, I want to go!”

“Yeah!” he shouted happily.

Spending Christmas with someone other than my family. My first Christmas with my friends!

. . .

“Finally done!” I yelled in relieve.

“I made an apron for Chizu-chan, drink coasters for Ayane-chan, a belly warmer for Dad, slippers for Mom. What should I make for the gift exchange? First I need to ask if I can go. For Kazehaya-kun... a scarf!................. No, no. That would be way too creepy. A hand-knit scarf would be a bit much. Besides, even if I did make one I wouldn’t be able to give it to him. I know I wouldn’t...”

“Oh, I should make him a hat instead.”

I got out my knitting kit and started making the hat. It can’t hurt to knit just one. I’m just knitting one…

“Sawako!” Mom called, “Dad is home.”

“Okay!” I replied.

I’ll ask them if I can go to the Christmas party!

“Dad, welcome back! On Christmas Eve—”

“Oh! I was going to tell you about that, Sawako!” Dad blurted, “You haven’t told Santa Claus your wish for this year, have you?”

“If you don’t hurry, he’ll stop taking requests,” Dad reminded me, like I was a 6 year old.

“Well, then... a notebook... and spare lead for a mechanical pencil,” I said, trying to make Dad happy.

“Hahaha,” Dad laughed, “Even I can buy you those things, Sawako.”

“Santa Claus told me he’d be pretty generous this year,” Dad told me.

“Th-Then, an ergonomically-designed mechanical pencil. If possible...”

“Haha! Why’re you asking me, Sawako?” Dad laughed again, “You have to write it down and hang it up, like always!”

I wrote it down and hung it up on our Christmas tree. What should I do? I need to ask if I can go but Dad isn’t making this very easy.

. . .

“Sawako’s roasted chicken from last year was delicious!” Dad began, “Not to mention your mom’s stellar cooking!”

Dad... seems very excited for Christmas, I thought.

“I won’t go to work this Christmas Eve! I’ll definitely help out, starting in the morning,” Dad said excitedly.

“U-Ummm...” I tried to get some attention.

“Huh? What’s wrong, Sawako?” Dad questioned, “Oh, I see. It’s the Christmas cake, right? I’ll leave that to you. It’ll be the main event of the day!”

“Uhh... Yeah, okay!” I tried to go along with it and tried not to act suspicious. I got up after I finished eating and went to wash the dishes.

“Sawako! Since you’re such a good girl, Santa Claus delivers a present every year,” Dad said excitedly.

“Y-Yep!” I tried to sound happy and enthusiastic but nothing was working. I can’t bring it up.

“Please come.” Kazehaya-kun’s voice was ringing in my head. I turned around to my parents.

“Mom, Dad, you see, speaking of—”

“That reminds me, Sawako’s delivery was originally scheduled for the 24th. She couldn’t be delivered as planned, so we were worried. But she’s grown up to be such a sweet and healthy girl...” Dad started to tear up. I could tell that he was very happy.

“That’s right. How nostalgic!” Mom said.

“She ended up being delivered on New Year’s Eve... To this family, Sawako’s birth was the Christmas gift,” Dad cried.

“Oh look at you, dear. You’re crying,” Mom teased.

“Dad?” I spoke.

“That’s right, you were about to say something, Sawako,” Dad recalled.

“No...” I smiled, “nevermind, it’s nothing.”

I returned back to my room after dinner and continued working on the hat. As I thought... I can’t ask him.

. . .

The next day at school...

“Ehhh?! You’re not going, Sawako?” Chizu-chan and Ayane-chan asked.

Ayane-chan and Chizu-chan really wanted me to go too! I really want to go with them to the Christmas party!

“Yeah, I can’t. My dad’s really excited,” I replied.

“What? No! Please come with us,” Chizu-chan exclaimed.

“Can’t you come out for just a bit?” Ayane-chan asked.

“My family’s Christmas parties last the entire day,” I told them.

“T-That sounds pretty crazy,” Chizu-chan said, very surprised.

“S-So... Here. It’s a little early, but...” I reached into my bag and handed them their presents.

“Wow! An apron!” Chizu-chan gasped, “I’ll use this when I’m helping Ryu’s dad.”

“Ah! Ayane-chan, I made you some drink coasters,” I said.

“These are so cute!” Ayane-chan said, “Did you make these by yourself?”

“Y-Yeah,” I replied. Was it too much?

“That’s so amazing!” Ayane-chan and Chizu-chan both complimented.

“Thank you so much, Sawako!” Ayane-chan and Chizu-chan thanked me.

They like them! I’m so happy! Oh it’s Kazehaya-kun.

“Oh, what’re those?” Kazehaya-kun asked.

“What, these? Sawako made these for us. Cute, right?” Ayane-chan bragged.

“She gave us our Christmas presents!” Chizu-chan said.

“Seriously?! That’s so cool!” Kazehaya-kun smiled.

I stared at him and thought of that hat I made. Will he accept my gift? He looked at me and started staring too. J-Just kidding! What a scary thought.

“But aren’t they Christmas gifts? Isn’t it too early?” Kazehaya-kun asked.

“Oh, Sawako can’t make it to the party,” Chizu-chan explained.

“Sawa-Papa seems too excited about his own Christmas party,” Ayane-chan continued.

Kazehaya turned and looked at me.

“Is that true?” Kazehaya asked me.

“Please come.” “I want to!” These words were still ringing in my head while I thought about what to say.

“Yes...” I managed to say.

“Oh, okay.” Kazehaya-kun sounded very sad and disappointed.

“Kazehaya!” Joe called, “About the party, I booked a place for it. Come over here!”

“Okay, thank you!” Kazehaya-kun yelled back to them and then I watched him walk away from us.

“Sawako,” Chizu-chan called, “for next year’s party, let’s do it on a different day!”

“Yeah,” Ayane-chan agreed, “we can even do it on the twenty-fifth instead.”

I stared at them and smiled. What wonderful friends I have.

“I hope you two have a great time!” I cheerfully said. He invited me too...I feel bad that I can’t go. Maybe next year, I thought as I held the invitation paper that was hanging from the blackboard.

. . .

On the day of Christmas Eve…

“I made it! I finally finished it. I won’t be able to hand it to him but I’m still happy about it,” I exclaimed as I put the finished hat on the windowsill.

“I guess I’ll keep Mom and Dad’s present hidden so I can surprise them,” I decided and put the bag with their presents behind the hat.

“Sawako! Dad! Are you both up already?” Mom called.

“Yeah!” I responded.

“It’s really cold this morning,” Dad complained as he walked past my door.

“The bathroom is open!” I yelled as I closed the bathroom door.

“Wow! That looks great on you!” I heard Mom compliment Dad from the other room.

“Don’t you think so?” Dad agreed, “It’s a perfect fit!”

I walked in the room to see what they were talking about but when I walked in, I saw Dad wearing the hat that I made for Kazehaya-kun. I think Dad notice me walk in because when I did...

“Sawako! Thanks so much for the Christmas present!” Dad smiled. I stood there shocked. I couldn’t believe it.

“So you remember me saying that my head always got cold in the winter,” Dad said thankfully, rubbing his head.

“You’ve got a big forehead, after all,” Mom added.

“Wow, this is so warm,” Dad cried joyfully, “I’ve always wanted something like this!”

“Thank you so much, Sawako!” Dad thanked again, “Merry Christmas!”

I was still standing there like a brick wall, staring at the hat. Then, I faked a very convincing smile. I can’t ruin this moment.

“I’m... glad you like it, Dad,” I managed to mutter, “I was actually planning on giving it to you later. Here, Mom. This one is for you.” I handed her the present.

“Oh my... Thank you, Sawako!” Mom said and then put her present away.

I wasn’t able to give him the hat, anyway... It’s better for Dad to use it rather than having it sit on my shelf, and he really likes it too.

. . .

I looked up at the clock. 8:28. I wonder if everyone’s having fun right now.

Dad saw me looking at the clock and asked, “Something bothering you, Sawako?”

“Huh?” I responded confusedly.

“Having fun?” Dad asked.

I hesitated a little and then said, “Of course!”

Riiing! Riiing! Riiing! I looked over and saw that the phone was ringing.

“Is that the phone?” Dad asked.

“Umm...yeah. I’ll go get it!” I got up and went over to the phone. Riiin—Click!

“Hello?” I could hear Chizu-chan’s voice on the other side of the phone, “Shut up guys, I can’t hear anything! Hello?!”

“Chizu-chan?!” I gasped.

“Oh, is that you, Sawako?” Chizu-chan asked, “Hey! Shut up, Joe! I’m on the phone! Sawako, we were wondering what you were up to. It’s really lonely without you. Let me pass the phone to Yano-chin. Here, Yano-chin”

“Hello? Sawako?” I heard Ayane-chan’s voice this time.

“Ayane-chan?” I muttered.

“You’re not lonely, are you?” Ayane-chan asked worriedly, “Just calling to make sure you’re okay. It would have been nice if you could have showed up for a little while. Since you can’t, I have a Christmas present right here for you.”

I heard the phone switch to another person again.

“Huh?” It was Kazehaya-kun’s voice.

“Who is it? Kuronuma?”

I couldn’t respond. My voice wouldn’t come out and I felt tears well up in my eyes.

“Is that you, Kuronuma?”

“It’s you, right?” Kazehaya-kun asked if it was me multiple times and I couldn’t say anything. Tears started falling down my face and I couldn’t answer him or even make a sound. I want to go! What should I do? I can’t... talk. I was shaking and couldn’t stop my tears either.

“I want to say hi, so could you give me the phone, Sawako?” Mom asked as she patted my shoulder. Then, she took the phone.

“Hello? This is Sawako’s mother speaking. Thank you for taking care of my daughter all the time,” Mom said into the phone. I tried stopping her but I was shaking too much and couldn’t reach for the phone.

“H-Huh? Oh, umm... good evening!” I heard Kazehaya-kun say over the phone.

“Oh my!” Mom laughed, “You guys sound like you’re having fun.” M-Mom...! I tried reaching for the phone again but Mom just turned away.

“Sawako, come over here for a second,” Dad called.

“Huh?” I walked over.

“Yeah, we are, but... we’d have twice as much fun if Kuronuma-san were here,” Kazehaya-kun said to Mom.

“Dad, would you mind... would you mind if I were to attend the party for just a little while?” I asked with tears still in my eyes.

“We’d have a lot more fun if Kuronuma were here!” Kazehaya-kun shouted through the phone.

Dad moved a blue box closer to me.

“See what’s inside,” Dad told me.

“Hmm?” I stared at the new-looking box.

“It’s from Santa...ah, I mean, it’s from me. Go on, open it,” Dad explained, pushing the box closer to me. I carefully lifted the box up onto my lap and looped my fingers in the ribbon. I pulled on the ribbon and untied it. I gently opened up the box and picked up the object that was in it. It’s a phone!

“You need to tell me about this stuff sooner. Be sure to call if you’re going to be late. I’ve charged it already,” Dad told me, making these weird motions like he was pressing buttons.

“Ahh! Thanks so much, Dad!” I gasped and then ran to my room to get ready to go to the party.

Click! Mom put the phone down.

“Oh, she left already?” Mom asked.

“Yeah...,” Dad cried gloomily, “This day has finally arrived.”

“Oh come on, this is still the tip of the iceberg,” Mom reminded.

. . .

Outside was snowing very hard and the wind was blowing against my face as I quickly ran. I wonder if I’ll make it in time...

“Okay, let’s call it a night!” Joe shouted, “Let’s hope there will be less of us next year!”

“Haha,” everyone laughed.

“Cheers!” everyone yelled.

I ran as fast as I could. Maybe I won’t make it... There was so much snow and it made it harder to run. It was a white blanket on the sidewalk and road. But even then, I still want to go. I want to go!

After a while, I finally made it there. I was less than 10 feet away. I got closer and then finally notice that Kazehaya-kun was leaning against the light pole. His eyes widened.

“I had a feeling that you might show up,” he said happily, “You’re finally here!” He had a bright smile on his face. Somehow, tears started forming in my eyes again.

“Yeah.” I wiped away my tears.

“Both the party and Christmas exchange are over but this is for you.” Kazehaya-kun handed me a small, pink paper bag. I took it and opened it.

“It might be a bit pointless for you though,” Kazehaya-kun added.

I put my hand into the paper bag and pulled out a beautiful phone chain.

“Th-The thing is…” I looked into my bag and took out my phone.

“I still don’t know how to use this, but...”

Kazehaya-kun smiled and then laughed.

“Here, let me see it,” Kazehaya-kun said.

I gave him my phone and he started pressing the buttons. Then, he gave it back and started pressing the buttons on his phone.

Ding!

“There, sent.”

Kazehaya-kun’s name was the first entry in my first ever cellphone.

“Oh right, I also brought a gift for the exchange,” I remembered.

“Wow! Really?!” Kazehaya-kun sounded very surprised.

That was when it hit me. I had the stomach warmer and not the hat. Dad still had the hat and I just gave Kazehaya-kun the stomach warmer. Ahhhh!

“Cool! A neck warmer?!” Kazehaya-kun asked curiously.

“A-A-A s-stomach warmer!” I muttered.

Both the fact that I was lonely, and that I couldn’t make it to the party... The small miracle, and the slight blunder... All of those things made it a merry Christmas.