My Collection of Stars

Oh, to be a star, amongst my collection of constellations. Most see my requirements as too much, but all you must do is be one of a kind. The good news for any potential star is that I have a soft spot for anyone who has the willingness to shine and keep shining even when they are down and feel defeated.

I feel the need to protect my stars, they are too important to be left vulnerable. When they are around they make my world lighter, brighter. They allow me to escape the darkness around me for a little longer while I’m with them.

The stars comfort me. I am not always expected to be the strong one, we have a mutual understanding that sometimes things get rough, and if there is a meteor shower, then we’ll have each other’s backs until the storm is over. 

Sometimes my stars can be angry, sad, emotionless, and sometimes even a mix of everything. Though they make things difficult, I find the good in them and push them to better themselves and show off the light that burns deeply within them.

At times, I search for hours awaiting their shining presence to dance in the sky. I look to them for hope and they look for me too.

Their connections to each other leave me jealous, they’re all so different and sometimes I don’t feel nearly as unique. They’re all so diverse yet so alike in the great space that they occupy within my heart. They form the cosmos into a beautiful art piece, consisting of constellations, satellites, and planets.

I wish to be in space, not for scientific discovery, but for my benefit and peace of mind. I’ve looked long and hard, searching for ways to see them more. To watch in their wake the creation of more stars and the loss of others. I wish to be closer to them, to study, watch, learn, and embrace their light.

I want to be among them, to be one of them. It is said that the human is made up of star matter, but no matter how often I am reminded that they are human, all I see are stars and I wish to be more than human to join them on their adventure through the space they occupy. I wish to be a star of my own, to be my own prized possession, or maybe be a part of their collections.

Perhaps, if I manage to make my way up to the immersive painting, I will join my friends, and maybe those stars will even consider me theirs. If I hurry, maybe they’ll say my light isn’t bright enough. That I should have waited and watched their performance more, but I know that somewhere they wish for me to hurry and join in their fun.

If I wait, maybe I’ll even outshine them. Maybe I’ll be even brighter than the stars in my collection that have dulled and been removed. I hope that if this happens, then my ex-stars will see how brightly I shine from a million lightyears away on Earth. If they see my light, I know that it’ll only last a certain amount of time. My light will have died by the time it reaches the Milky Way but it will still show across the galaxy for a short time compared to others in my collection. I know someone would have seen me and wish that they had added me to their collection.

I know that the love and presence of stars can be overwhelming for many, I even sometimes struggle with the pressure of their brightness. Most times I find that I am benefited when concerning my goals as they push me to try harder, to try and reach their brightness, or even outshine them in some cases.

I fear for the day that I can no longer peer up and gaze at the beauty that normally awaits me. I fear that they’ll make me prove if I am worthy among their stars. I wish to be one with space forever. Though I am not the best star out there—I’m not a genius, I’m unathletic and uncreative and I’m not always the most entertaining to be around—I know that one day I’ll find more stars that will accept me and I will be with their other stars, shining with pride and acceptance. If I cannot gaze into the dark sky whenever I please, then I hope the stars know that I wish them well. I’ll be back another day, to glare at any who send harm their way. For no matter how dim their light shines, to me, it is the brightest among all.