Pros and Cons of Parents Tracking Your Phone

As teenagers, little white lies are a daily contingency, something we’ve normalized.  They are more than just the thrill of lying we enjoyed when we were younger: they’re the freedom of doing something beyond your parents’ knowledge, and the feeling of independence it brings. “Mom I’m going to study at a friend’s house,” could easily be code for going to the park with friends.  Small lies with minor consequences. Parents are also trained to recognize these lies thanks to their previous experiences as a teenager.  It is also their job to decide which instances they will be more lenient than others.

A guardian's role is to ensure their child's safety.  They are legally obligated to protect their children against harm until they are of legal age to do so themselves.  Everyone goes through a lot in their teen years: growth, both mentally and physically, emotional and hormonal changes, and brain maturity. They are still being introduced to many aspects of the world and because of that their judgment isn’t always reputable.  Hence, their parents concern about their well being.  If children are constantly out of reach, and clearly not always capable of making all of their own decisions yet, tracking seems like a reasonable precaution. 

However, tracking is not a solution, it is merely a stepping stone.  Tracking is a way for parents to alleviate their worry.  Tracking was devised as a matter of convenience for the parent.  It’s difficult raising a teenager who doesn’t respond to a text for an hour; tracking them solves this problem. However, no teenager wants to be constantly monitored like a baby; it feels like a violation of trust and an invasion of privacy.

Paola Goldsand ‘23 noted that although tracking may be good in some instances, when it comes to a serious situation such as abduction, tracking will not be very beneficial.  Paola’s mother tracks her which does not bother her.  When asked for an opinion about it she said, “It doesn’t really affect me,” while some teenagers are fine with being tracked, others are against it. Regardless, many teenagers do not let tracking stop them from doing what they want.  Paola agreed that the tracking wouldn’t stop her from doing something behind her parents' back.  All in all, tracking your child may not be quite the precaution it's built up to be. 

When Nyru Palacios ‘20 was asked why his parents decided not to track him he said, “I am very trustworthy.  Tracking is a matter of trust,” meaning his parents have no need to track him.  Many people see tracking as an easy way for parents to deal with unreliable children.  But there is an issue with this line of reasoning: if tracking is a matter of trust, why are some children tracked even if they’ve never acted out?  Which brings up the point of whether this should be a precautionary measure or a punishment.  

Another interesting aspect of the situation is the parents for this generation of teenagers grew up in a time without social media, tracking, or even cell phones.  Their parents had no way of knowing their whereabouts without actually following them.  It was a generation told, “Be home by sundown.”  As simple as that.  There was no calling their parents every few hours for an update on their location.  It was a relationship based on trust between a child and parent, children were given the freedom and parents trusted them to make the right decisions.  There was no negotiating what time to arrive home.  Thanks to texting today’s generation of teenagers can negotiate their curfew.

It’s interesting that at the time it seemed normal to allow your kid to go play all day without any insurance that they were safe, no way of contacting them or knowing their exact location until they returned home.  Nowadays parents can know their child's location at any time of the day just by looking at an app.  The world has not suddenly become a more dangerous place than it was thirty-forty years ago so why is this the way we perceive it?

Society has made some adjustments and new norms for raising children, all these new things have made our lives much easier in some ways and complicated them in others.  The most important thing is communication.  Before making any big decisions like deciding to track a child, there should be a conversation.  There is no ‘right’ way to raise a child but one wrong way to raise them is with a lack of communication.