What Would You Tell Your 18-Year-Old-Self?

Being an eighteen-year-old—on the cusp of adulthood—is no easy feat. Eighteen is balancing a newfound sense of independence and grounding your core identity. Eighteen is exploring the real world’s complexities—learning how to articulate your essence of heart and preserve your individuality among social pressures. It is experiencing heartbreak, thrill, nostalgia, and failure: elements that allow us to reassess our morals and assert our self-confidence. Inspired by this New York Times article, I asked different Upper-Grades teachers at NEST+m to share candid advice for their eighteen-year-old selves.

“I would tell myself to enjoy the four years of college. It goes by really fast, and you will make lasting friendships and connections.” - Ms. Allen

“It's cliche to say that most of the things I cared about at 18 will not matter and will seem ridiculous 10 to 15 years later, but there is a lot of truth to that.  I'd also say to relax more, enjoy the ride, and cherish the moments, be a good friend and son.  Focus more on learning, get better grades, and start lifting heavy weights earlier!” - Mr. Cinquegrana 

“Don't worry about ending this chapter of your life (to begin the college chapter). The world isn't ending. In fact, by Thanksgiving, you'll return home and realize that everyone will still be around. Start examining your identity and circumstances. Challenge yourself to understand what you've been afforded, what you haven't, and how that relates to the lives of others. Connect with your brothers. Make an effort. Invest the time. Learn to be comfortable having your friends look over your writing and school work. They won’t think you're stupid (and you'll only get better). Examine how you take up space in different social contexts. Always be generous. Learn how to work hard. Grades come and go, content may slip in and out of your mind over time, but the conditioning of a solid work ethic is super important for college and beyond. Train your mind and body to have the endurance to work hard for extended stretches of time.” - Mr. Yusah

“I would tell my 18-year-old self that it's important to ask for help, even though it's hard to admit that you don't understand something or are having a hard time with an assignment. I used to hope that I'd figure it out on my own, but this rarely solved my problem. It took a challenging first year at college to learn that I was better off, and more (not less!) resourceful, when I asked for help via email and during office hours. It's OK to not try to figure everything out on your own.” - Ms. Lei

“Keep believing in yourself. Things do get better.” - Ms. Alba

“If I could tell my 18-year-old self anything, it would be to love myself. I know that sounds cliché, but it's true. I spent so much time hating myself--focusing on my limitations, trying to do what society deemed "correct," second-guessing every single one of my impulses and interests--that I missed opportunities to become my own person. To be honest, there are certain portions of my life as an 18-year-old that I can't even remember because instead of experiencing my life and living it, I was constantly analyzing it or thinking about whether or not I was optimizing my time.” - Ms. Gordon

“I would think long and hard about what interests me, motivates me, and brings me satisfaction and happiness. Take a deep breath and explore what is engaging to you. Travel if you can (when it is safe), experience different cultures, visit museums and take a variety of classes in the first two years of college. There are multiple paths to a fulfilling and rewarding career, so please do not rush or feel pressured to make a decision. Youth is for exploration and thinking of new and better ways to do things that society takes for granted.” - Mr. Selter

“Enjoy being young. Life is full of choices, and everything will work out just the way you want to as long as you put in the hard work to get there. It's okay if you don't know what college you want to go to or what you want your major to be because most people don't. Being successful isn't about being smart but more about making good choices and not giving up on yourself! Life is short, so enjoy the journey!” - Ms. O’Connor