Joshua Aguirre
I’ve had enough of this realm. This cold and grey realm that not even Hades would call a home. I don’t even know how I came into this world or survived. There’s no life. No food, no plants, and there is nobody at all. For years I’ve wandered in this barren and grey wasteland and not a single person in sight. I remain shivering and dreadful because there is no person in sight to keep me warm and the damned clouds prevent me from seeing the glory of Apollo’s chariot fly through the sky. I don’t even know if Apollo bothers to bring light to this world.
The most haunting thing in this damned plane are the screams I hear. I can’t tell if they’re in my head or out plaguing the world, but the screams are forever cracking my skull and bleeding my ears dry. What they shout is just as worse; all they kept screaming was my name.
“Narcissus… Narcissus… Narcissus…Narcissus!” Every second of my being I am plagued with the constant thought of never escaping who I am without even knowing who exactly am I. They make the grey world pulse in my eyes and the clouds above me beat upon my head from above. I can try to run away, but it always follows. Narcissus always follows me. Narcissus is all who I am.
***
One “pleasant” evening I drifted my way to a river. The screams kept growing louder and louder as I got closer. I dropped at the edge of the river and crawled to the water’s edge. The least I could do was wash away the blood from my ears. The most I could attempt would be to drown myself in the cold depths of my muffled name, I may have attempted it. Something stopped me though. As I looked upon my reflection there was something different. The world being mirrored towards me had color and life within it. There were plants and green leaves, Apollo blessed the skies with light, and I wasn’t in pain.
Not the real me of course, but this duplicated me. My eyes were not red and sunken from the terrors of crying, my ears had no sign of crusted or oozing blood, and my face had a glow to it. I reached out to touch to waters, to touch my reflection, and onced my finger poked at the surface I felt him. I could feel this other me; this glowing Narcissus. I had felt something when our fingers met. A connection of sorts. I felt...rage.
A part of me knew that this wretched copy had caused my suffering. Caused my pulsing brain to hemorrhage at the thought of my own name. I grasped his hand and pulled him into my world. He had been gratefully welcomed into my nightmare.
“Where am I? You there, the handsome fellow, tell me where I, the most beautiful Narcissus is.” He was proud to say my name. To say the name we share with such ill disdain. I lunge at him and grasp at his neck. I heard his voice barely escape his crushing throat.
“Why… are you… doing this?” I did not stop. I squeezed and squeezed till his eyes looked like me. Until his ears would bleed. I whisper the last words he will ever hear.
“I’m killing who we are.” With the sound of a few cracks and snaps, his head laid limp in my hands. I let his body crumple to the dirt. Slowly the world around me began to fade to dust. The voices in my head began to drift away until no remnant of my name stuck me. For the first time in my life I felt a smile on my face as I faded away.
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