What are Coping Skills and Why do I Need Them?

• Coping skills are strategies that help you manage difficult thoughts, emotions, and situations. Coping skills can also help you to calm down when you become overwhelmed.

• Coping skills can help with anxiety and stress as well as other emotions such as sadness or anger.

• There are hundreds of coping skills, so it's just a matter of finding the ones that work for you! Some examples are listed below.

List of Coping Skills for Anxiety, Stress, Sadness, or Anger

Breathing Strategies: (Helps You Calm Down)

• When doing breathing exercises, inhale through your nose first and then exhale through your mouth.

  • • To remember this: Smell the flower (inhale), blow out the candle (exhale).

• Box breathing: You can trace a square on the palm of your hand or in the air while you do this, with each 4 second count being one side of the square. You can also do only the breathing without tracing the square.

  • • Inhale slowly for 4 seconds (trace the first side)

    • Hold your breath for 4 seconds (trace the second side)

    • Exhale slowly for 4 seconds (trace the third side)

    • Relax for 4 seconds (trace the fourth side)

    • Repeat for several minutes until feeling calmer.

• Belly breathing: Take deep and slow breaths with a focus on your belly rising instead of your chest. You can imagine your belly as a balloon filling with air and deflating. 

  • • Count to 4 as you inhale, feeling the air fill your belly

    • Pause for a few seconds (hold your breath)

    • Count to 6 as you exhale, feeling the air leave your belly.

    • Repeat several times until you feel calmer. You can place your hand on your belly for help with noticing the rising and falling as you breathe.

Positive Self-Talk Statements:

• Positive Affirmations/Statements to Restore Control:

1. I am strong.

2. I am brave.

3. I can do this.

4. My feelings are important.

5. I will focus on the things I can control.

6. I deserve to have a great day.

7. I am going to enjoy my day.

8. It's okay not to know everything.

9. My worth does not come from what others think of me.

10. I can't control what others do, but I can control how I react.

11. I am capable of learning new things.

12. I can take deep breaths and get through this.

13. I can choose to have a good attitude even in a bad situation.

14. My effort matters even when I don't get the outcome I wanted.

15. I can be myself.

16. I choose progress over perfection.

17. My feelings matter and are valid.

18. I can set healthy boundaries.

19. I can say no.

20. I choose to be kind to myself.

Reframing Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts:

• If an automatic negative thought (ANT) pops into your head, don't just let it sit there. Change it into a positive thought:

1. "I can't do this" becomes "I can do this."

2. "I'm not good enough" becomes "I am good enough."

3. "I always mess up" becomes "Sometimes I make mistakes, but I have also had many successes. I can learn from the mistakes I make."

4. "This is too hard" becomes "This is challenging, but I can break it down into smaller steps or ask for help, and I can get though it."

Mindfulness and Grounding: (Helps You Manage Negative Thoughts/Feelings)

• Being mindful of the present moment can help relieve anxious thoughts and stress.

• "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" grounding technique: Choose 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell (or imagine the scent of 2 things such as a food or flower) and 1 thing you can taste (such as imagine the taste of your favorite food). Focus on these things. You can also take deep breaths while using this grounding technique.

• "A, B, C" grounding technique: You can either use the alphabet or a certain word, and you pick words that start with those letters using a theme you choose!

  • • An alphabet example with an animal theme: A for ant, B for bat, C for cat, etc. 

    • A word example (flower) with a colors theme: F for fuchsia, L for lavender, O for orange, W for white, E for emerald green, and R for red.

    • If you can't think of a word for that letter, it is okay to just move on to the next letter!

    • You can do the alphabet as many times or use as many words as needed!

    • You can also take deep breaths while using this grounding technique.

Sensory Strategies:

• Splashing cold water on your face can help activate your nervous system and regulate how you are feeling, meaning it helps you calm down.

• Using a fidget toy (squishy, fidget spinner, worry stone, etc.) or feeling a textured sticker can help manage anxious feelings. These are available for use while in the social work office!

• Feeling a textured pillow can help you calm down and focus on the present moment which can relieve anxious thoughts - available while in the social work office!

Movement:

• Exercise

• Dance

• Take a walk

Practicing Gratitude:

• Choose 3 things you are grateful for each day. You can also write them down!

• Reframe the attitude of "I have to do this" into "I get to do this."

Journaling:

• Writing your feelings onto paper can help get out the emotions you are feeling.

• You can keep a gratitude journal.

• Journaling can also help you track triggers, which are things that cause negative emotions or reactions. For example, public speaking may be a trigger for anxiety. Learning what your triggers are can help you plan a coping skill to use when triggers happen, such as taking deep breaths (box breathing for example, explained above) or using positive self-talk statements ("I can do this, I am safe").

Creative Coping Skills for Anxiety or Stress:

• Coloring can help reduce anxiety or stress. Pages and markers/colored pencils available for use while in the social work office!

• Drawing or painting

• Listening to music

Message about Coping Skills from the School Social Worker

• Feelings can be overwhelming and difficult, but using coping skills can really help to manage thoughts and emotions!

• Thoughts are not always facts - coping skills can be a great tool to manage negative thinking and begin to think and feel more positive.

• If you have questions about coping skills, or would like to discuss in more detail, please visit the School Social Work office located to the left in the Guidance Office. 

I'm here to help!