Wedges to Avoid

Parents: Are you bringing up various college options, deadlines or test dates at unnatural times with uncheck repetition throughout the week?

Students: Do you frequently answer your parents' sequential questions about college with "Good," "Okay," "No," or "Huh?"

Solution

Create an agreed upon time each week, where both student & parent will come together to talk about college options. Both sides must come to the table ready to discuss options with an open mind. Remove distractions (cell phones), and give each other the time & respect to hear the options & ideas being presented.

Do you find yourself asking others where they (or their students) are applying?

Do you find yourself saying things like "We are taking the SAT next month?"

Solution

Keep it Private: The college search & application process is a stressful time for a family. To help avoid some unnecessary stressors, consider keeping your prospective college list private. This can help stop the phenomenon of "Keeping up with the Joneses," while also building trust between both the students and parent.

Watch Your Pronouns: While the entire family is invested in the college search & application process, the student applying should take ownership of their narrative. Family support during this time is crucial, but so is a student finding autonomy before heading off to their postsecondary life.

Parents: Have you had a conversation with your student about what, if any, financial support you are planning to provide for their postsecondary education?

Students: Do you know how much the colleges you're considering actually cost? And do you know how you'll be able to afford them?

Solution

Understand Cost: College costs are more than just tuition. Institutions that receive federal funding must publish their school's total cost of attendance (COA), which includes not only tuition, and room & board, but also averages for fees, books, supplies, transportation, and personal expenses.

Money Talks: Honest & direct conversations about limitations, expectations, & conditions when paying for college need to happen early on. While full financial disclosure isn't necessary, having this discussion early on can prevent unnecessary heartaches & headaches later.

Do you find yourself disregarding schools that aren't "good enough?"

Are you more focused on attending the "best" school, instead of looking for the best fit for yourself?

Solution

Keep An Open Mind: Just because a school doesn't appear on a list, doesn't mean that their program is in any way sub-par. Have the confidence to think for yourself, and consider attending a school that no one you know has considered before. Visit campuses on trips, and don't limit your possibilities before you know what's out there.

Apply to More Target/Safety Schools: Many families believe that applying to more schools with exceedingly low admit rates will improve their chances of getting in. Instead, work with your counselor to find a realistic list of target & safety schools, which may offer more opportunities for you to be the big fish, in a small pond.