Elevating Interests over Positions

A story is told of two siblings who got into a fight over the last remaining orange in the kitchen. Both said they wanted the orange for a meal they were preparing. They argued about who had eaten all the oranges. They argued about who deserved the last orange most. Eventually, they decided to let a parent slice the orange and be done with it. The result was two less-than-ideal dishes. It was only then that they discovered that one sibling wanted the juice for french toast and the other wanted zest for a pie.

Of course, real life negotiations and problem-solving involve more than distinguishing juice from zest. But our natural tendency to fixate on preferred solutions-- our positions-- can lead to tremendous missed opportunities in a similar way. "Peel back the skin" (theirs and your positions) and satisfy more of your real interests with these steps:


    • Identify what others involved want you to do and ask yourself (and them, when possible) "why?"

    • Often, people don't know why they want something, or they stopped considering the "why" once negotiations begin.

    • To compound the problem, once people settle on a position, it feels threatening to examine the position because it is perceived as a threat to core identities: competency, value, worth. It also feels vulnerable to share one's own "why." So, people fixate on positions instead.

    • For example: How often do you find yourself saying to a friend about someone with whom you are in conflict, "if they would just..." (or something like it)?

  • Find a common value or values underlying your counterpart's position(s) and your position

    • Keep broadening the scope until you arrive at a shared value related to the positions.

    • A foundation of common values orients parties toward problem-solving and away from positional clashes.

    • For example, "You and I both believe Channel Islands should have a valued place within the Academy."

  • Frame ideas as "first draft" proposals (options) tied to common values

    • Be open and bold about the importance of your interests, and curious and respectful about their interests

    • Lead with values and interests before positions. In fact, focus on options instead of positions.

    • Disagree with priorities and "interest satisfaction effectiveness" for options generated, not positions and personalities.