Let’s talk about Mental Health

By MIN Ambassador, 10.10.2025

10th October 2025 is World Mental Health Day. Thankfully, conversations around mental health are happening more. We hope the same will soon be said for post-separation abuse, coercive control and domestic abuse. One thing that is not discussed enough is the impact of such abuse on the mental health of victims. Research shared on mentalhealth.org.uk links domestic violence to depression, anxiety, PTSD and substance abuse, with an estimated overall cost to mental healthcare of £176 million. 

If you have suffered from mental health challenges, you are not alone. 

Going through domestic abuse can feel very lonely. Abusers often separate us from our support networks, and it’s common to blame ourselves. Although the women we work with are no longer in a relationship with the abuser, behaviours continue through post-separation abuse. Whatever stage of the journey you are at, there are ways you help to manage and care for your mental health. 

It’s important to note that trauma and mental health struggles vary just as much as types of domestic abuse. There is no ‘right’ response to being, or having been, a victim of domestic abuse, coercive control and/or post-separation abuse. 

Now is the time to put yourself first 

Those who haven’t endured abusive relationships sometimes find it hard to understand that victims may have empathy for the abusive partner, or may not even realise they have been the victim of abuse. But being kind and understanding can mean we excuse abusive behaviour, and minimize our own needs. We often need to learn or relearn to prioritize our own wellbeing, and recognise that it is far from selfish to do so. Being good to yourself is good for those around us too. 

Find out how to be kind to yourself

Start with compassion. We all know the phrase ‘it’s ok to not be ok’. But it’s also ok to be exhausted, to be angry, to grieve for the relationship we wanted, to make mistakes, and to ask for help. Show yourself the same care as you would your child or a friend. Don’t speak to yourself in a way you wouldn’t do to them.  

Below you’ll find a few ideas for ways to support your mental health. Try a few and see what works for you. But if it’s becoming too much, you should always seek professional support. That’s what it’s there for. For you. 

Small, simple steps

We all know lack of time and money can make self-care seem out of reach. But small actions can make a big difference to how we feel, so look for ways you can build these into your day. A warm bubble bath. Five minutes slow breathing before anyone else gets up. A cup of tea and a chat with a friend. Dancing around the kitchen. Your favourite movie or a comedian who always makes you laugh. Think about what brings you joy and try to make time for them. (One suggestion for those who’ve been in controlling relationships is to consider things you weren’t ‘allowed’ to do and start doing them all!) 

Talking and writing 

Therapy can be hugely beneficial to survivors and victims. However, finding the right therapist and being able to afford it can be a challenge. There may be support from your GP or charities to fund therapy so do look for this. Talking to others is useful too. You might not want to talk about your experiences, but even connecting over your favourite TV shows or parenting can help us to feel less alone. 

Journaling can also be a great way to get a jumble of thoughts out of your head. There are loads of ideas online for different types of journaling. There is no right or wrong, just what works for you. So don’t be afraid to experiment. Expressive writing can help too, and you may find it easier to write about your own experiences from a third person perspective (using ‘she’ instead of ‘I’). You could also write a list of your achievements and accomplishments to look at and act as a reminder when you’re having a bad day. 

Physical movement 

Movement and mental health are inextricably linked. So whilst it can be hard motivating yourself to get moving (especially as the days get shorter), try to persevere and congratulate yourself when you achieve it. It doesn’t have to be traditional exercise. A walk in the fresh air, a dance-off with the kids, or simply stretching while the kettle boils all count. On our website there’s a link for a free guide to somatic practices, which connect body and mind for healing and emotional well-being. 

Look around for help

There are many resources around to offer support. At Mums In Need, we only have funds to support those on our current caseload, although you will find information on our site that may be useful to you. We’ve put a few links below that could be helpful, but if you require more specialist advice do seek it out. You will not be the only one struggling.  

Mind offers a great deal of information and support on mental health. 

Space To Breathe in Sheffield has put together a page of wellbeing resources.

Turn2Us offers financial advice, which can also impact our mental health.

The Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year - call 116 123. 

Acknowledging that we need help can be hard. Looking after yourself, including your mental health, takes practice. But now is the time to give yourself kindness, compassion and care. Remember, it is no less than you deserve.