Back to Reality...

All good things must end...but does it ever heal in your soul?

Jet wasn't jet to me in my 2nd year, the learning curve was steep, in some ways I hadn't matured fast enough to embrace Japanese ways of doing business. Confrontations weren't handled well on both sides and I made some mistakes. Life was lifing towards the end, it was stay in Japan on a real Japanese teacher's salary, consider a Assitant Manager's salary at the mall or fast food with all the hang ups of being an educator on top of it, in 2007 Japanese economy. Hint is Run, all the way home. I went job searching in Tokyo and a buddy suggested getting an apartment in Yokohama or Tokyo if I could find a job at one of the English School Engines (yes I said the quiet part outloud) but let me get to it in a minute. 

By this time early 2007 I had seen Kumamoto City, and its country side, Oita, Kobe, Osaka, and some Tokyo. Hitoyoshi and a few others and life was good outside of work. At work I was done, checked out. Education was my early career calling, and not in Japan was the answer. I decided after several failed attempts of finding a job including being mistaken for a blonde hair blue eyed European I was frankly done with the corporate life of Japan I didn't want to entertain or embrace anymre. I came home.

Falling from Grace...

My main mistake was missing the New Year opening ceremony at work. Then disagreeing with meetings being all in Japanese for my English Department. Next was the writing on the wall of how I wasn't accepting being frozen out. It was fine, I just looked forward to being home. Fast forward to getting off the plane, my Dad was proud of me, not dissappointed, and my mother's house was gone. He had fallen into foreclosure behind his new wife (and they were divorced but still friends) and I was bitter because my early life was packed away in a storage unit. My brother had moved out under duress, and my Dad wasn't himself. I had finally come full circle about letting go of what I didn't have anymore.

 My mother's house had a new family in it, I didn't get to pack up my room for the last move, and my brother was gone. A house with a family isn't a home, and I had become whole in that thought, everywhere I lived I needed to make my own. Living with my Dad again was a whole new struggle, him dating and myself having to dissappear for hours at a time was a challenge. I worked fast food up the street from the apartment because I didn't have the money for a car, and then started my Alternative Teaching Certification program. Kind souls along the way helped me with fees and test materials and it started in a year to come together. Living the charmed life in Japan felt worse than a slap in the face realizing I was sleeping on a couch in my Dad's apartment and it was going to take time to get out on my own. Well hit this up again later.

Teaching in English? Not cracked up to the romance of the JET Programme. 

To be honest I felt lied to like you find a new used car and it looks great on the outside and but once you drive it for a while you embrace its full personality with all the bad decisions that got you here, yes, that feeling. Being an American in Japan versus being me in a school on the south side of home was 2 different universes. Cultural issues, personal growth, challenges especially being disillusioned I turned Japan as a fond memory I would never see again.

in 2008 I met a young lady who dreamed harder of Japan than I ever did. She was the top student in the Japanese Program, played Basketball, and was growing into her own vision. I told her about the JET Programme and she was sold, no questions asked. She knew college was the first step, and I found out in 2016 she had left for Kumamoto! Not in the city though. Life was amazing. I felt an immense sense of pride and the window cracked open on Japan. Especially since when I got married I wanted to take my wife there. 

So let's rewind a bit, in 2012 I started teaching in Austin, TX. Yes living in San Antonio and drving 90 minutes one way for 5 years I found some hope. I found other young professionals that were drowning in the cycle of teaching without hope for retirement and I got the lightning bolt from a child. 

Own your Dream, or just shut up about Japan. No one wants to hear it anymore...

To be fair I was teaching at an inner city title 1 school that felt more like a manufactured prison than a home in a loving community. I had to truly grow into this school and imbrace the souls that became legends of the education community. I made new friends and I became the champion that my students needed. I had to rebuild my teacher's tool box and as well tell a new story for my life. A young lady came into my room that Thursday morning grumbling and she let me have it, both barrels, no apologizes and sure as hell in all brutal honesty, "M! STOP IT. This is the Barrio! We live in a slum village on the southside, most of us have never been on a plane, or left TEXAS! It's not fair for us to look at your pictures and watch videos of your life from before. Do something with Japan or go to the other schools!" Her words had more color and foul language but you get it right?

 I went home bothered, and really dwelled upon it for a month. I was going through the motions and all at once the lights came on in a frenzy. I cooked up a new tag line for my classroom, mind you middle school, "We Build Dreams here!" The kids were like, "whatever, you hate us and you'll be gone next year, just like the other ones." If you haven't heard of 'Capturing Kid's Hearts' then buckle up for the ride. I had to meet them where they were and lift them up. My birthday was around the corner, so I stopped by Krispy Kreme Donuts and bought enough for all of my kids to celebrate my day with me. The faces were amazing that day, the light in the room, and all the wonder that came with it. The same young lady came up to me, "what is up with you, I haven't seen you smile in a long time." I told her, "You were right, thank you for your feedback, now it's my turn to believe in you." She started tearing up, I started tearing up and she composed herself, "No tears today." We had finally turned the corner, but it was going to be a beast of hurdles to overcome.

Is that a Spaceship Hotel or a Cruiseship in Japan?

 I had launched my signature lesson plan, "Dream Vacation." She had found my special place in the world and it was called Kobe. Her first choice of hotels was the Kobe Meriken Park Oriental Hotel. I had seen this place from the bus in 2006 and never knew its name. I promised her when I got the business together I would take pictures there and post them online. I got to explore from the eyes of my students of what they valued and were curious about the world outside of Dove Springs in Southeast Austin, TX. It was microcasm of socioeconomic closed minded community. It's like that world was an after thought when you don't want to face the uncomfortable truth. As I spent time helping them build their research and critical thinking skills the narrative shifted to me listening to dreams they didn't originally have the ability to express. I believed in them and became the listening ear and guiding heart they needed. However this fostered a deep yearning for going back to a simpler time in Japan and memories that were yearning to boil to the surface. 

Everyone has a moment whether it is a vacation, trip, or just an experience that lets them leave their mark on the universe or the reserve where the universe marks that soul. The time in this school made life more than interesting it was a movie I starred in as the director but also as the background cast. The thought process allowed me to take better photos when I traveled. Instead of technical shots that were avoid of life or moments I got in touch with learning how to let people find there own 1000 words to explain a moment in time. So the space ships and giant class towers remained real but allowed young minds to reach out to their own visions they wanted to make reality. 

Japan left focus for them as we laid the ground work to build their own dreams. That was my tag line in class for a decade, "we build dreams."