Students should complete 1 activity a week over the next 6 weeks. Send an email to ebrown@mpsk12.net after each activity stating something that you learned.
Self-Awareness Activities:
Self-awareness—accurately assessing one’s feelings, interests, values, and strengths; maintaining a well-grounded sense of self-confidence Activities: These activities are adapted from The Dove Self Esteem Fund.
Activity 1 Let’s Share
As a warm-up, find something special that both of you can do.
For example: • Rise one eyebrow • Cross your eyes • Whistle
Mom, let me tell you about:
• My best friends
• My school work
• How I feel about my siblings/aunts/grandparents/teachers/babysitters
Mom, tell me about:
• What school was like for you
• Your best friend from when you were my age
• How you really feel about your family members
Let’s talk about:
• How do deal with bullies and teasing
• How I feel about my physical appearance
• What kissing is like
• How I really feel about girls/boys
• How I really feel about getting older
Activity 2 Where I’m From
Every family is different. It is the particular ingredients of your family that makes your family unique. Families are made up of different parts with everyone bringing something special to it.
Talk About It:
How does where you are from influence who you are? This might include religion, region, ethnicity, how old your parents/caregivers are, what beliefs you share as a family, whether you come from a single or two-family home, whether or not you have siblings…. The list goes on.
Discuss these questions with a caregiver or a friend. Exchange information, if you choose.
Where did your grandma grow up?
How is your family unique?
What makes you unique?
How am I beautiful?
What are some things I admire in my family members?
What are some things I admire in others?
What are some things I admire in myself?
What have I learnt about my family that I didn’t previously know?
How—if at all—does that change my relationship with my family?
Activity 3 My Hopes
Sometimes you need a quiet moment to reflect on all the changes and activities in your life. Use this space to consider who you are, or you use your journal. Write down your thoughts about what you’ve learned so far about yourself and your mother.
Think About It! What makes me unique?_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Who are my role models?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Why?_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Who are my best friends?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Why?_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
What do I want to be?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What skills do I want to develop?____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Take a moment to look at the things that make you, you. Write down one goal for yourself for this semester or this year or this month (or even just today!) Try to make it as specific as possible. Come up with a plan to achieve that goal.
One thing I would like to explore further or achieve is ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
To do this I could_______________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ One step I can take now is__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Subsequent steps might be__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Self-Management Activities:
Self-management—regulating one’s emotions to handle stress, control impulses, and persevere in overcoming obstacles; setting and monitoring progress toward personal and academic goals; expressing emotions appropriately
Activity 4
1. What's the most annoying catchphrase or cliché you can think of?
2. What is something that your parents do (or a friend does) that annoys you?
3. Does it annoy you when people kiss in public? Why?
4. What annoys you about taking trains? (or a bus, tram, plane)
5. What annoys you about driving a car?
6. Does it annoy you when people snore?
7. What annoys you about yourself?
Critical thinking: When someone does something that bothers (annoys) you; do you address them right away? Or, do you ignore the behavior? Explain why or why not.
CORE MINDFULNESS SKILLS
Section A:
OBSERVE
• Be curious about what you feel.
• Just notice how you feel, without trying to make feelings stronger, weaker, disappear, or last longer.
• See how long your feelings last, and if it changes.
• Notice how feelings flow in and out of your body like waves.
• What comes through your sense? Touch, smell, sight, sound, taste.
• Be like a non-stick pan, letting things slide off your body and your emotions.
DESCRIBE
• Use words to describe your experience.
• Use “fact” words, call a thought “just a thought” and call a feeling “just a feeling.”
• Use words that everyone would agree with.
• Don’t paint a colorful picture with words, or magnify a situation with words.
• Try to avoid emotional words.
• Try to let go of your emotions about being “right” or about someone else being “wrong” while searching for words to describe your feelings.
PARTICIPATE
• Get “lost” in an activity.
• Let go of your sense of time while participating in the activity.
• Be present in the situation, rather than thinking about other things you could or should be doing.
• Practice your skills until they become a part of you.
All content adapted from Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Handbook. Fulton State Hospital, 2004
Section B:
CORE MINDFULNESS-HOW TO INCORPORATE THE SKILLS
Practice to Use These All at the Same Time
NON-JUDGMENTAL STANCE
• SEE, BUT DON’T EVALUATE. Take a non-judgmental stance. Just the facts. Focus on the “what,” not the “good” or “bad.”
• UNGLUE YOUR OPINIONS from the facts.
• ACCEPT each moment non-judgmentally, as a tree accepts both the sun and rain that falls upon its branches.
• ACKNOWLEDGE the helpful, but don’t judge it. Acknowledge the harmful, but don’t judge it.
• When you judge, DON’T JUDGE YOURSELF FOR JUDGING.
MINDFULLY IN THE MOMENT
• DO ONE THING AT A TIME. When you are eating, eat. When you are walking, walk. When you are working, work. When you are in a conversation with a friend, be present in that conversation with your friend. Give each activity your whole focus. If other actions, thoughts, or strong feelings distract you, LET GO OF DISTRACTIONS, and go back to what you are doing—go back again and again and again.
• CONCENTRATE YOUR MIND. If you find you are doing two things at once, stop and go back to one thing at a time.
EFFECTIVELY
• FOCUS ON WHAT WORKS. Do what needs to be done in each situation in order to meet your goals. Stay away from evaluative language: “I am stupid because I didn’t get an A” or “My teacher ignores me because she hates me.”
• INSTEAD, FOCUS ON THE FACTS. “I didn’t get an A because geometry is very hard for me. I will study harder next time” or “My teacher hasn’t been calling on me lately. I will tell her that this frustrates me.”
• LET GO of vengeance, useless anger, and self righteousness that hurts you and doesn’t work in the long run.
All content adapted from Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Handbook. Fulton State Hospital, 2004
Activity 5:
OBSERVING AND DESCRIBING THOUGHTS Describe a situation in which you felt out of control emotionally. How did you feel? What were the circumstances? Did you use evaluative language to judge yourself or another person during the situation? What thoughts did you have during the situation? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
How did you react physically to the situation? Did you yell, hit things, cry? What do you think prompted that physical response? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Can you revisit that situation from a non-judgmental stance? In other words, if you were going to describe what happened using only the facts and removing all evaluative and emotional language, what would you say? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What is the effect of removing all evaluative language from an emotional situation? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
All content adapted from Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Handbook. Fulton State Hospital, 2004
Activity 6 EXPRESSING EMOTIONS EFFECTIVELY
Practice observing and describing your emotions about the followings situations that you might experience. Remember to focus on the facts and avoid evaluative language. Focus on how the situation makes you feel and how you could best express how you feel.
1) You feel ignored by a favorite teacher. She always seems to have time for other students. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2) Your best friend was supposed to meet your for dinner. He is an hour late. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________
3) You come home late from the library. Even though you tell your mom where you’ve been, she grounds you for a week. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
4) Your own example—any time when you needed to express your emotions to another person. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________
All content adapted from Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Handbook. Fulton State Hospital, 2004
Extra Skills for Solving Conflicts With Others
The following are some helpful tips for solving conflict with other people, including friends, caregivers, and teachers. The goal of these skills is not to win an argument, but to figure out how to discuss conflict in an appropriate way so, in the future, the situation can look different.
1) Describe: Clearly state what the problem is. a. Phrase the problem in terms of behaviors that are currently occurring or not occurring. b. Break large problems into smaller, concrete problems and deal with them one at a time. c. Make certain that the other person is ready to discuss the problem.
2) Express: Clarify why the issue is important to you. a. Clarify why the issue is important to you and provide your understanding of the issues involved. b. Explain what your desires are, but do not offer solutions.
3) Assert: Discuss possible interviews. a. Stay solution-oriented; your goal is not to defend yourself, decide who is right or wrong, or establish the truth regarding what happened in the past. b. Your goal is to decide how to do things differently in the future. c. If you tend to get focused on a single or limited number of alternatives, consider brainstorming (creating a list of many different kinds of solutions to the conflict).
4) Negotiate: Decide on a solution that is agreeable to both of you. a. If you cannot find a solution which greatly pleases both partners, suggest a compromise solution. b. State your solution in clear and specific terms. c. After agreeing on a solution, have your partner restate the solution. d. Do not accept a solution which you do not intend to follow through. e. Do not accept a solution which you believe will make you angry or resentful.
5) Decide on a trial period to implement the solution a. Allow for several attempts of the new solution. b. Review the solution at the end of the trial period.