Poetry

As we slowly tip-toe into the starry night

The soft breeze tickles us

Before rising up and touching the stars.

Your golden-brown hair glows amber in the moonlight

And the merry jingle of your anklet

As it touches the dewy grass

Reminds me of that time all those years ago

When we were just kids

Happily skipping in the meadow

Soaking in the sun’s rays

Smiling from ear to ear

Completely unaware of

The perilous storm

The menacing thunder

The unforgivable curse

We were walking into

As we embarked on

The journey to our end.

I’m scrambling to read through notes.

Looking through every piece of paper as if they were the holy grail.

Quickly watching videos,

secretly wishing I could drop out.

My friends reiterate the idea,

to think of my grades,

but not let them distress me.

Since grades do not define,

a person’s health.

I can’t help but think,

grades are the complete opposite of simple.

My whole life teachers, parents, advisors have stressed to me,

How without getting good grades attaining, I will not go anywhere in life.

I won’t get any scholarships,

and money doesn’t grow on trees.

What do grades cause?

All-nighters and baggy eyes the size of elephants,

as if studying will do anything.

Loss of genuine interest and happiness,

strengthened by lack of imagination.

Making smiling like carrying weights.

Anxiety and stress,

that occurs every single day.

Millions of students,

empty inside,

barely holding themselves together.

Gratification from attaining a tremendous grade.

Through fitting a Common Core Standard,

memorizing information,

regurgitating it back on a test

All well enough to earn an A+.

Grades are deploring and taxing.

Of course, I can't forget the shared pain.

Fellow classmates feeling the pressures build-up,

from many different classes.

Dictating self-worth on a piece of paper.

Quizzes, tests received,

that were just three… two…. one… points

from perfection.

This is what grades cause.

I mentally prepare for another test, project, or quiz,

another week of stress.

Inside my mind,

there is a little girl smiling,

but she is too far gone.

He walks through his own backyard from dawn until dusk

Holding onto his dead dreams,hopes and an old fishing pole

Dreams he cannot see because he lays vigilant within the shadow of his house

A house far larger than he, one which covers every fear within its sheath

And icy walls, the house he’s owned since his wife and he married

And took shelter within each others hearts

And souls,

When did he become so pained?

He questioned himself over and over, but could not dig through the concrete

Of his minds vault, to find exactly what it was that made his mind

Pang like the hungry stomach of a neglected animal

He searched within the tiny lake that he was fishing in

The small koi fish that circled around each other, each one curving and twisting

Upon each other like a glorious dancer flowing between each movement

He wept to it, his teardrops trickled upon the lake

The koi opened their mouths, and consumed the mans remorse

A woman calls for the man to return to his home,

He is awakened to the shrill call of his love, it was so shrill

“I know” was all he could muster to mutter to himself

He referred back to the sun, where did it rest in that starry night,

What side of this cruel galaxy did that beautiful pire awake from that it rose once more

To steal his lonely sheath.

This year-- oh, burrowed under my too loose skin,

it has sunken in, dragging me down further.

It lashes at me, second coming of sin--

appearance of omens: crows stood in murder.

Oh, victorian rest of headache solved through gin,

no answer, just falsehoods and a murmur.

There is no sign of respite for my tired soul,

this sense of chaos for a person of control.

Where will I find consolation, inherent?

In too tired bones, the ache for something formal;

In missing familiars, all too apparent;

this dissonance, in just how paranormal.

These times of my life, they seem incoherent,

moments to be had, yet appear abnormal.

For I am masked, yet still too accessible.

I sought to not be found, cruel Jezebel.

Yet, hark! There is rumbling in this earthen ground!

It echoes through body of sinew and twine,

And it rises up, from toe to where I’m crowned.

It says, “Hope on horizon, it is divine--

Water, plated armor, but remain undrowned,

not a sense of holy god, yet still a sign.

Next frozen solstice, it shall be fair and true.

Next year, it shall differ-- this I swear to you.”

I could go to space if I wanted to With my rocket of chairs and blankets. Blast off!

And I was in space.

There was no gravity

Nothing to hold me down.

I could fly if I wanted to.

Go off and fight pirates with Peter Pan The swing set was my ship

And I was in Neverland.

There were no laws

Nothing could hold me down.

Why must this ever change?

Nothing can hold me down.

I dreamt of you walking into our house,

Hugging me and Vrishank tightly.

Was it really you?

We miss you!

Your warm presence will never be forgotten,

Just like those long drives at midnight,

With you driving 20 miles an hour.

And those peaceful nights standing in the balcony,

Listening to those eye opening stories of your days at war.

You gave me the strength and courage to fight too.

You know, I miss how you would tease me about my Hindi,

I had never seen you laugh so hard!

But it ended so fast,

I remember coming home from school to pure silence,

And then when mom told me you were gone,

I was horrified and in brutal shock!

Why did you have to go so soon,

You were only seventy-two!

I really miss you Nanu.

I will never forget how you taught me to,

Be brave, be kind, and always keep our family together!

You will be remembered forever!

I died Yesterday

But ironically

it was the most alive

I’ve felt in a while

I got to see my life

First hand, from the passengers’ seat

For the first time, I wasn’t living my life

I was watching it

I could see the way my mother looked at me

When she bore me on such a stormy night

The way my parents just knew everything

Was going to be all right

Oh how I could taste

The grass my brother pushed

My face in on his 8th birthday

For eating his favorite popsicle

I could feel the material

Of the wrapping paper on my fingers

As I unwrapped my fiery red bike

Which I rode for about a month then forgot about

I could see myself grow up

From 10 to 15 to 20

I could see myself age

Right before my eyes

I could taste the alcohol on my breath

I knew I shouldn’t have been driving

But I decided to anyways 20 mph to 30 to 40

I had no intentions of slowing down

I could feel myself lose control

I was no longer driving

Or doing much of anything for that matter

Everything had gone black

I could see my mother crying

By my hospital bedside

I could taste my dry mouth

As I lie their motionless

I could feel my mother’s hand on mine

Then I felt my soul leave my body

I could not see anything anymore

I could not taste anything anymore

I could not feel anything anymore

Alas, the frozen tundra confining me begins to thaw

The bitter mounds of snow have turned into messy piles of slush

Hours of darkness growing smaller

Sunlight twinkles through the grand French doors and I know that you have arrived

Deep green leaves sprout from the once ailing trees

I'm refreshed by your breeze as you revitalize the world around us

You're the vibrant fuchsia rosebuds on the shrubs, the bright white blossoms on the flowering trees

The daisies dance gracefully in the wind,

Blue jays singing songs of glee

Remember to proud of who you are and the color that you represent

I hear the trees from beyond below with cries and silent screams,

people who had to suffer from the indescribable pain of having no rights

It's what these people think to believe that their actions are justified

In their eyes, you're not seen as human, your words no longer matter in this world

Those who’ve terrorized our neighborhoods for no reason

I want you and the next generation to be the change in society

One day there will be equal rights for us

It will have to take the dedication

It will also movements of those who are willing to do something others wouldn’t

Just to overcome these issues of injustice

A calamitous peace

I woke up to.

My head felt empty,

and broken,

with nothing but the knowledge

that something was wrong.

I could hear her voice,

faint but echoing with familiarity

as it complimented the silence in the air.

I could not remember her name,

but I recognized the power hidden in her softness of tone

like a winter’s first heavy snow.

Was she a lover in a past lifetime,

or was I still in that lifetime?

I was blinded by the sunlight

as I walked out of the room that had seemingly kept me captive.

I could tell much time had passed

since the last time my eyes had been open;

shrines were crumbling with nostalgia

and anything man made had been taken over

by roots that were twisted with a history I had completely missed.

And though the brokenness of it all

filled the place with despair,

it was still quite beautiful.

Everything to me but my name was a mystery

as the whispers of the wind repeated it over and over again.

They tried to remind me of who I was,

though I could not remember anything.

They begged for my help,

as if I could do anything at all with an empty, broken mind.

But that girl’s voice,

the one I had woken up to,

it gave me hope.

So I would continue stumbling down the hills,

learning to walk again,

to breathe again,

to be me again (whoever that was),

until I was able to give her an answer.

A restless night comes to an end

I go to sleep with you on my mind

And I wake up wanting to see you

As I pull the curtains,

Darkness still fills the horizon

Leaving a reminder of what used to be

Life just seems so hard

Because there are times when we need to talk

But the words never come

It’s almost as if we let our feelings get the best of us

Because whatever chance we think we have,

It blows up in our face

Leaving nothing but sadness and regret to consume me

Glancing upon the sky,

The hour seems just right upon its time

Because the sun sits still

And although my feelings have yet to be defined

I’m reassured that everything will be alright

Nothingness surrounds me as I peer around

Light is where I’m lost but the Dark is where I’m found

It calls out my name as I stop to hear

But as I listen it reminds me it’s just a new year

On January 1st I start anew

But only the Darkness knows what I’ve been through

Every day the same, three, six , five

There’s no time without Darkness where I feel alive

It’s Nighttime when I let my mind run free

But Daytime, a chore, one, two, three

I count the days, the hours, the minutes

Until Night again when I have no limit

I find the beauty within Darkness so haunting

Yet a new year, I go without wanting

So when the countdown begins and the fireworks spark

I am reminded that I Walk in the Dark