Stress Management

Coping With Stress: SMART Goal Setting

Goal setting is a vital skill in supporting children to accomplish what they would like to do. It serves as good motivation and set children up for success. Often times, however, goal setting can result in tremendous stress when the goals are not properly set. They may be too vague or unrealistic. This is when SMART goal setting comes into play. It is an acronym that helps to qualify your child’s goal and break down a big goal into smaller and achievable goals.

Specific - What exactly do you want to acheive? State the goal in concrete terms. 

Measurable - How do you know that you have achieved your goal? 

Attainable - When setting a goal, you do not want it to be too easy achieve. However, it shouldn’t be to unrealistic as well.

Relevant - Why do you want to achieve this goal? How does it help you achieve your bigger goal? Knowing the reasons behind increases the motivation in keeping to the goal you have set for yourself.

Time-bound - When do you plan to achieve the goal? Setting a deadline ensures that your goals are not too out of reach. It also provides you with accountability. 

Here is an example of how a SMART goal can look like for your child: 

You may access the SMART goal setting template here:

SMART Goal Template.pdf

Coping With Stress: Leisure Time & Relaxation

It is unrealistic to expect stress to completely go away. However, some leisure time and relaxation can help children reduce their stress to a more manageable level. They may still feel some level of stress that motivates them to keep going at their revision. However, they no longer feel so stressed out that their daily functioning is being affected. 


Parents, here are some leisure activities that you can encourage your child to engage in:

Deep breathing exercises and muscle relaxation exercises are also helpful in getting your child to relax and calm down. Perhaps, your child enjoys computer games, watching dramas or reading comics. You may consider allowing him/her to play the computer game, watch that drama or read that comic for a limited amount of time. The duration should be discussed and agreed upon beforehand. In fact, they can serve as a reward for your child after they have completed their revision for the day. This will motivate them to persevere on in their revision. 

Coping With Stress: Effective Time Management 

As exams approach, it is inevitable that our children will begin to feel stressed. The revision ahead seems daunting, as they revise for English, Math, Mother Tongue and Science. This is when effective time management skills can come in handy, reducing the stress to a more manageable level.  

Priorities 

Some questions our children can ask themselves as they plan for their revision:

To - Do List 

Coming up with a To-do List ensures that our children do not miss anything out. It also helps to break down the whole revision into smaller, achievable blocks. For some children, a To-do List provides a structure for them. As they tick off the tasks, the To-do List reminds them how much they have accomplished. This motivates them to press on in their revision as their exams approach. 


Here is an example of a To-do List template that you may want to share with your children: 

To Do List.pdf

Time Table 

A timetable provides structure for children. It ensures that they have a routine to follow. Study or revision time can be incorporated into the timetable. Parents, I highly encourage you to take some time to work out a timetable or schedule with your child. 

Here is an after school time table template that you may want to use with your children:

After School Routine.pdf

Identifying Distress Signals

When children are feeling a tremendous amount of stress, you may find that their daily functioning is affected. Here are some common distress signals in children: 

Changes in Mood
Parents, you may find your child getting easily irritated and angry. Or, he/she may cry for seemingly no reason. Or, perhaps, you observed that your child is no longer engaged in his/her favourite activities or hobbies.

Avoiding People
When children are stressed, they may find themselves wanting to be alone. You may notice your child always staying in his/her room and refusing to join in family activities.

Changes in Eating & Sleeping
Stress can affect children’s eating and sleeping. They may experience either a loss of appetite or find themselves constantly hungry. Likewise, they may also experience difficulty sleeping at night or find themselves constantly feeling tired.

What Is Stress

“Stress” is a common term we hear a lot these days. Parents, you may have heard your children complaining that they are feeling stressed. Perhaps, you yourself may be feeling stressed out at the moment. However, what really is stress and what can cause children to feel stressed? Children often feel stressed when they are worried or uncomfortable about something. The worry in their mind can cause their body to feel bad or negative. Plenty of things can cause children to feel stressed, including feeling stressed about school work, exams and even friendship issues.

But, is stress always bad for us and our children? There is a difference between good stress and bad stress. Good stress is stress that motivates us (and our children) to get things done. For example, the exams are approaching and your children may begin to feel a little stressed. This stress can motivate them to get started on their revision and preparation for the exams. However, bad stress can take place if the stressful feelings intensify over time, affecting our children’s daily functioning. Often, unrealistic expectations go hand in hand with bad stress. Unrealistic expectations are the gap between what we think things should be like and how they are like in reality. When children have unrealistic expectations of themselves and their abilities, they are setting themselves up for failure as they will never be able to meet that expectation. This leads to disappointments and doubts about themselves.