Dear Charley, I swear. A Lot, An overwhelming amount. It’s hard for me to filter myself in certain situations and settings. I'm afraid people find me to be unprofessional or intimidating. How do I fix this?
Well, this is actually a really relevant topic to me. I swear worse than a sailor. Over the last year I have tried to be aware of the words I say. Not only the words I say but also the way I say them. Thinking before you speak is also a lot easier said than done.
No one wants to be seen as someone who doesn’t want to be worked with or taken seriously. Having people discredit you and your work never ends very well. You don’t have to change your entire vocab but having different, more appropriate, responses not only make you sound more engaged, but also makes others see you as productive. Changing a habit sooner than later makes it easier to correct.
Dear Charley, I have a friend that I’ve trusted for a really long time. I have trusted them with a lot of my personal life and problems. Now it seems that whatever I tell them, they tell their other friends every detail. It makes me really uncomfortable. I've asked them to keep things private, but they haven’t. Do I stop being their friend ?
Well… Trust is key in any type of relationship. If you can not trust them, then why still be friends with them? Them being a friend of yours for a long time can make it easy to keep finding excuses for them, or reasons to stay close friends.
You obviously care about them, so cutting them off entirely seems wrong for many different reasons. But besides those reasons, if this is a friendship you want to keep or work on, sometimes distance truly does help.
I'm not saying to go cold on them, but be more aware of what your saying to them. If you think it’s something they might open their mouth about, don’t tell them. It’s truly that simple. However, it can still be hard if this person is one of the only people you talk to. Ask them why they feel the need to share your business. There is almost no reason for them to do so, especially if you have asked them to stop.
Them not stoping shows the lack of respect they hold for you. Respect is also a very key role in having a strong friendship. You need separate yourself from them. Feeling like you can’t share one of your closest friends may feel very draining. Distance may make them realize their wrongs.
You don’t have to be as close as you once were if that's how it is. People grow out of other people. But that's when you make new friendships. You always deserve a friend you can trust.
