This story ends with the lobotomy of someone who attacked me. I wish I could say his motive, but that’s what a doctor is for. Or at least meant to be for. Dr. John Spivey, who really didn’t deserve that title, was the chief psychiatrist at Oregon State Hospital. And I could swear he was drunk more often than not. He had the type of eyes that don’t go past the surface; glossed over with a lack of sentience, as if he didn’t even know he was alive. If it weren’t for McMurphy, Spivey would be my antagonist.

When I first started working at the hospital, there was only one patient: Chief. Chief was at this time diagnosed as catatonic, or “dumb n’ deaf” as other patients would say. He would never say anything, just watch and take commands, which seemed to go against everything anyone would expect from someone who would’ve soon been the head of their tribe if it wasn’t destroyed.

There were many patients who would come and go, but very few were actually forced to stay; most of the patients of the hospital volunteered themselves. It’s hard to have empathy for grown men who are too scared of their subconsciousness to get a job and contribute to society, but having that empathy was my job, so I always held my tongue.

I think now is as good a time as any to mention my intuition. I’ve never been wrong when judging a book by its cover, but I guess I just know how to judge. Most people say that phrase because a book’s content is in the pages, on the inside. But when looking at people, more importantly insane people, it’s easy to notice all the scratches, the tape holding the spine in place, the faded parts, the way it does its makeup, the way it cuts into its soft cover, and the way it knows it's helpless. However, judgement can only get you so far, especially when the book knows it will be judged, and compromises. This is why we had group therapy, to talk about trauma, and possibly get a solution. Unfortunately, Glossy-Eyes was always late to these meetings, despite it being mandatory for him to be there. This was insufferable, because the Doctor carried around this aura of an audition. The minute he entered a room people felt like they needed to impress him, like their cover was being judged and they had to hide all the scratches and cuts and tape. I, on the other hand, tried to make it known that I didn’t enjoy a second of his presence. I felt sometimes that I was shooting the words “I hate you!” straight from my mind into his face, but they were always lost in those pathetic eyes.

He had power over all the patients, the same patients that hated me. I can’t blame them too much. A dog doesn’t like being fed medicine. So why would a crazed rapist enjoy being told he’s in the wrong? But just like feeding a dog, you find ways around the rejection of medical treatment. Whether it be reminding someone of their free will, telling them it’ll give them super powers, sometimes telling them they’ll die if they don’t take it, I always found something that worked.  

It was hell when McMurphy arrived at the hospital. I had a migraine that day only to have to deal with a rapist who might be a psychopath, too. I was trying to get all the rest I could when I was told that the new patient wasn’t following protocol, so I reluctantly came down to see what the issue was. I told McMurphy that he’d need to be showered after just arriving, and he explained that he had already been showered by the courthouse and the jail, a completely fair and sane response. I told him it was just protocol, and he said he was just trying to get acquainted with the people around the hospital, which was an obvious lie. All the other patients looked like small dogs watching a hawk fly by. But no matter how scared they were of McMurphy, they were more scared of me. After all, what’s a hawk to a person forcing you to face reality.

Then there was the time with the TV. We have strict rules about TV which boil down to the question “Is it therapeutic?” This question was more often than not a passive aggressive “no” until a patient, Scanlon, decided to starve himself for three days straight until we gave in. If I didn’t know that he’d keep starving until he had no stomach, therefore not begging to change the rules, Spivey would’ve let him wither away, watching with his distant eyes.

One day McMurphy wanted to watch the TV during the afternoon to watch the world playoffs. I would’ve let him if it was as simple as that, but I didn’t feel like fighting with the brick wall for a change again. 

Remember that catatonic patient, Chief? Lies. Pure lies. The day McMurphy was begging to watch TV, he found out that you can change some rules as long as you have a unanimous vote between everyone in the ward. I tried to catch him on the technicality that the Chief was in the room and he didn’t vote. But as I was leaving and listening to McMurphy’s pleas towards Chief, I looked back after hearing someone yelling “Look! Look!” and there Chief was, with his hand raised with the vote.

They turned on the TV, but I unplugged it, maybe feeling a little petty, before they got the chance to really watch anything. But then McMurphy took advantage of someone’s schizophrenia and pretended to watch, and everyone either succumbed to mental psychosis or followed willingly.

The screaming, the yelling, the misbehaving, everything was unbearable. I wanted to stick an icepick in my brain right then and there, and I knew that I’d have to deal with McMurphy soon.

One day, I told McMurphy that he could only leave if Dr Spivey approved. He acted unaffected but after I left I could hear him asking what everyone meant, that’s how I knew I broke him, but it wasn’t enough.

I knew that if McMurphy didn’t succumb soon it’d hurt him more than anyone else in the ward, but of course no one believes in authority.

Days later, McMurphy decided to have a party which led to some type of hooker friend of his taking advantage of a young boy named Billy. Billy was taken away to another room, but by the time I went to check on him, he had slit his throat. I went out there and told McMurphy what had happened, but he didn’t listen. In fact, he attacked me right then and there.

You know that you’re the villain of the story in the eyes of everyone when you are being choked to death by a rapist, and no one comes to your aid. After that it was only a matter of time before McMurphy had the medical procedure of a lobotomy.

I did all I could to help.

Pop-Corner 

Dana Terrace: Paving the Way for Indie Animation

By Addie B.

While many people are sitting and waiting for Disney to put out another movie that’s bound to bomb in theaters, others are searching for indie film alternatives. The indie animation market has suddenly exploded, especially in the past year, breathing a breath of much needed fresh air into the industry. 

The representation of women for young girls was once led by Disney, but as we’ve aged more and more, it seems like Disney has slowly lost its touch that made the iconic ‘Disney princess’ so popular to begin with. What was an indie, slow rising animation company, has become a corporate entity focused on gaining money rather than providing authentic entertainment to the world. As many people age out of Disney princesses, it becomes clear that the format of the “quirky, awkward, yet girlboss” heroine has become synonymous with mainstream Disney films, specifically in the last decade, starting with the success of Tangled (2010).

Until Tangled, almost every infamous Disney princess and heroines had traits that reflected the time period, but still had their own distinct personalities. For instance, Jane’s (Tarzan, 1999) clumsiness puts her life in danger multiple times while she’s adventuring through the jungle, Ariel’s (The Little Mermaid, 1989) naivety caused her voice to be stolen, Mulan’s (Mulan, 1998) awkwardness made her struggle to be the perfect daughter. Even in more restrictive time periods in women’s rights, these characters managed to be so distinct and unique in their own ways, both in spite of and because of their ‘flaws. The authenticity of having a female lead making the same mistakes and having the same flaws as any teen girl or child could possibly help those same girls learn that they aren’t inherently stupid or ignorant– they’re human, and have the option to look towards a role model, even in fiction.

With the release of Rapunzel, however, a different type of “Disney Heroine” started getting pushed together and repackaged into the most extreme version of itself. It takes the best traits of Rapunzel, but rather than provide unique female characters like in years past, Disney chooses to market to a more and more broad audience. Rapunzel’s naivety lets her befriend the men at the tavern, her clumsiness helps her knock out Flynn and oftentimes works more in her favor, and her awkwardness endears her to people. While Tangled’s Rapunzel was the first of her kind to be written like this, her character became the mold with which future characters were squeezed into and exploited by Disney’s marketing teams. Characters like Anna (Frozen, 2019), Moana (Moana, 2016), and most recently Asha (Wish, 2023) share many of Rapunzel’s ’quirks.’ They’re socially awkward, ‘adorkable,’ and clumsy– though only relatable to some. Disney continues with this characterization of their characters because they think it sells the best, but it does nothing for true representation. Heroines are becoming more and more watered down. Instead of having strong personality traits and defining features to not only make them stand out better, but also to reflect the multicultural and living audience watching. Rapunzel's characterization made sense because she was locked in a tower her whole life– and perhaps the same can be said for Anna, but both Moana and Asha grew up around many friends and family where the personalities they’re given don’t actually reflect anything about their goals or motivations, contributing nothing to their stories. While old Disney heroines used to be integrated into their stories and formed based on the worlds around them, in the present day, it’s more like they only exist as a placeholder while not actually mattering in an overarching plotline.

Now, take this all the way back to 2020, with Dana Terrace’s The Owl House, produced by Disney. For those who’ve never heard of it, 14 year old girl Luz Noceda, after being implied to have a troubled time in school, is planned to be sent to a ‘fit into the box’ summer camp, but instead finds a portal to another realm filled with witches and demons alike. Luz is then taken in by witch and criminal Eda Clawthorne and becomes her apprentice. Luz fits the pattern as any main character of a show, especially as a teen girl– she’s awkward, optimistic, and geeky, rather similarly to the quirky girl pattern that a lot of Disney movies have recently perpetuated. Yet, even with her sharing those similarities, Luz pushes past her troupe into a much more fleshed out and well rounded character. She constantly makes mistakes, says things without thinking, and pursues half baked plans far too confidently– she acts like an actual 14 year old that just stumbled upon a magical world. Then, in season two when she’s faced with trying to overthrow the main villain: Belos, the tyrant emperor of the demon realm, she learns how to quickly mature and take the scenario seriously. When her and her friends’ lives are in danger, she acts accordingly, instead of cracking jokes and one liners like Moana when faced with the Kakamora. While The Owl House wasn’t ever an indie show, being produced by Disney, it was still incredibly good because it was written by someone who had a passion for her work, as well as someone who was actually given the proper resources and creative vision to make something special– Dana Terrace. 

Dana Terrace, an animator, director, producer, and artist, known widely as creator of The Owl House, as well as someone who worked on Gravity Falls (2012) and worked as a director on the 2017 DuckTales reboot, started out concepting The Owl House way back in 2016. She originally pitched it to Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network, but was denied by both, until eventually being taken up by Disney in 2018 alongside Amphibia. Eventually the trailer was released in 2019, and finally the first episode premiered on January 10th, 2020. The Owl House is most easily compared to shows like Gravity Falls, Steven Universe (2013), and Adventure Time (2010); while the first season had a lighter feel for the show, the second season relates to these other cartoons, featuring dark themes directed towards a teen and older kid audiences. Personally, I didn’t start watching The Owl House until the end of season 2 was already out, but the show was already huge with all ages. At the time, I was only 13, but that was the perfect age since I was experiencing so much of what Luz was during her time in the demon realm. I related to her in such a deep way, and part of that is what makes the show so special to me. The Owl House does what so many children’s cartoons sought out to do, and just like many of the animated shows– not just by Disney but also by Netflix and other corporations– it got cut by Disney for doing just that.

If you’ve been a fan of The Owl House before, you were already expecting this to be brought up. The Owl House was officially cancelled and shortened to two seasons, leaving the show to be cut short and ending after a 3 episode finale. The official reason given for its cancellation was because it “didn’t fit the Disney brand,” but if a cartoon this charming and well-loved didn’t fit the brand, what exactly would? The Owl House features so much more than the average Disney animated movie– it has diverse characters that reach further beyond just being a placeholder for false representation, it didn’t hide behind layers of implication and instead fully showcased a canon woman-loving-woman romance for the main lead along with multiple other LGBTQ+ characters, and it still continued with an in-depth story and authentic plotline, commentating on so much of the nature of growing up neurodivergent while still appealing to a teen audience. To me, I think that The Owl House is everything that the Disney princesses intended to be– true representation for young children to be able to see themselves in. The fact that this show exists proves that Disney has the ability to hire writers and produce a piece of media with fully rounded characters– media that has the ability to become massively popular– but specifically CHOOSES not to, and instead tries to sell to a wider audience at the expense of the quality of their work. 

 After the success of The Owl House, Dana Terrace left Disney along with many members of her team and began working independently. In doing this, Dana Terrace has completely built a new path for animators attempting to break into the industry with her newest show– Knights of Guinevere, produced by indie studio Glitch Productions, home to The Amazing Digital Circus, Murder Drones, and more indie based animated shows. Dana Terrace’s move from corporate to indie is not just a one-off thing, it’s showing that even if you somehow ‘make it,’ and create media for corporations as massively popular as Disney, you may still end up being screwed over because of the greedy nature of these companies. Terrace is slicing through the treatment of animation that we’ve been used to and even expecting for the past few years with the decline of the movie industry and showing animators and writers as talented as she is that they don’t have to automatically sell out to do what they love. Glitch Productions, WISHBONE Animation, Studio Flimpo– these studios, backed by bigger corporations or not, are so incredibly important in keeping the art of animation alive for both adults AND children. The decline of Disney is a serious spit in the face and perfectly demonstrates the exploitation of art; the industry would not be where it is today without Disney, but that does not mean that the world can’t hold them accountable for giving up on their morals. 

Dana Terrace’s Knights of Guinevere is her final ‘screw you’ to Disney, featuring two rag-tag heroines struggling in a futuristic dystopian city existing underneath a theme park overrun by androids all named Guinevere– an exact parallel to real life Disney. Guinevere herself is a middle finger to Disney, her character being the ‘princess’ and face of the corporation shown to previously run the theme park where the main leads – Franke and Andi – now live underneath in an underprivileged city in outer space. Even Guinevere’s design herself is a mimic of Disney’s Mickey Mouse, having two big buns on her head in reference to Mickey’s round ears. Terrace’s strength in spearheading this show should inspire us to look for more independent animation– pilot concepts, short movies, anything available so that more studios and teams have the opportunity to follow Terrace’s lead in creating media that could be remembered for years as masterpieces. The golden age of indie animation continues to be on the rise as Prime starts backing more shows like The Amazing Digital Circus and light the way for corporations to put in as much work and determination as these significantly smaller projects. While Knights of Guinevere and many of the indie shows listed are all targeted towards adults, with the rise of indie creations becoming more and more popular, we may finally see a rebirth of films for kids that have actual substance to them and reembrace the simple concept of girl leads, for girls.

-Poetry-

A Colour Cycle