Interview: How To Give the Best Birthday Presents

By: Jadelyn Law, featuring Anonymous

Gift giving: either something packaged embodying the treasures that had bloomed between a friendship, or a half-sealed apocalypse of unwanted items and a gift card to a place you have never gone to (or wanted to). A parade of birthdays this season reminded me of my infamously insufficient gifts that took the form of cards, money, and pathetically “wrapped” (meaning half-taped, half-wrapped, fully abominated) meaningless items. Whilst the intention may be to gift something to be remembered, whether a beloved item or a cherished memory, that might not (almost never) be the effect. No matter the strength of the bond between you and the recipient, sometimes finding the “right” gift is just plain impossible- especially for those of us who can’t even decide what to have for dinner.

So, to combat my chronic gifting failures, I looked to one of the most (unofficially) renowned gift givers in my life. Not only does she have an outstanding record with her friends for her thoughtful, practical, and gorgeously handmade gifts, but she has personally presented me with one of my all-time favorite presents. To analyze her expertise, I found no better solution than to conduct an interview.

There are many steps and components in choosing a present that has been deconstructed for the weaker of gift givers. In bold are the questions that my friend received, and below are her responses (with some edits made for clarity and coherence).

Q: What is your general thought process when choosing gifts for any special occasion?

A: “I think about what I know about the person and what they have talked about⸺what they have liked. I think about their interests in general.”

Q: Are there any presents or types of presents that you try to stay away from?

A: “Candles, because everyone gets someone a candle if they don’t know them. They are like a ‘safe option’.”

With the foresight that the majority of people I have befriended are artists and several of their birthdays were soon to arrive, I turned to one specific question:

Q: Do you believe that art supplies or craft materials that may not be of the highest quality is a “bad” gift?

A: “I would not say that art supplies are bad because they were trying to think about their interests and they put in effort.”

My friend, being an artist herself, predictably had some great and notably good-natured commentary about the intentions versus the results. Many people lack the artistry that my friend has. Due to this, many people, such as myself, have not shopped for many art supplies nor craft materials and struggle with finding high quality birthday presents that are related to either topic without spending a king’s ransom. Fortunately, she is rather optimistic about the awkward situations and takes their floundering as a genuine attempt as opposed to a careless groveling for anything artistic.

Q: What’s the worst gift you have ever received?

A: “Probably clothes because I have gotten clothes that I have not asked for, and I’m known for not being fashionable.”

Many people can agree with the above sentiment. Clothes, distinctly in the women’s section, are sized loosely. A small in one brand of clothing may be a large in another brand of clothing. In addition, for people like her, it is annoying to receive unwanted clothing (or any unwanted present), especially if it has been stated that clothing is not favored. People have various styles, including specific textures or smells that some people will not wear. Getting clothing for someone is generally an unpopular idea between receivers and it is best to stray from clothing (unless specifically asked for) and gravitate towards more heartfelt and handmade.

Q: What’s the best gift you have ever received?

A: “Anything that is handmade, like the card that my friend made last year because that was really thoughtful and shows a lot of effort. Anything that shows they put thought into my interests.”

As exemplified here, the thought behind the gift is the most important part. Most handmade gifts are not the highest quality, including the card that her friend gave her, but she appreciates the care and consideration within the card and similar gifts.

Q: What is the best gift that you have ever given?

A: “Probably most handmade things because I put a lot of effort into it, like the painting I made for my friend.”

One important thing to notice when choosing a present: what kind of presents they have previously given. Were they crafted by hand and obviously chosen specifically for that person? Were they practical and made to aid that person through their everyday life? Although this may not apply to everyone, it is always a helpful tactic when unsure.

Q: How do you feel about money as a gift?

A: “Giving money as a gift… well, a lot of people think that if they did not ask for money specifically that it may be a bad gift because it is thoughtless. If it is not a gift card, it is meaningless.”

The idea of gifting money has long been debated over, with questions arising about the sentimentality behind money. Although many people regard such largesses to be thoughtless and would rather have something more treacly, others find money to be a reflection of reality and the ongoing battle between remuneration and the cost of living. To them, money transcends special occasions and into reality, where money is the basis of luxury. This is not the case for the majority of children, but teenagers tend to relish in the newfound income as they see it as a pathway to freedom. Adults and older people may see it as an alternative- another useless item that would only serve to take up more space in already small living quarters, but as a catalyst to comfortability.

As the holiday season comes and goes, keep these sentiments close to your wallet. Regard every gift as not the measurement of a friendship, but rather, an element conveying the care between one another.