Adversity: Understand, Accept and Adopt Changes

Rhaine Eisley Bortanog

October 17,2020 (Saturday) — Still part of the “Mental Health and Well-being Celebration”, the parents of the Senior High School students took part in participating in a webinar on “Parenting Skills in Supporting Children’s Success.”

The webinar was organized by the Guidance, Counseling, Testing and Placement Department through Ms. Renelene Tallod as the host for the event. After, the speaker of the webinar was introduced, Mr. Joy-Alvi R. Arañas, PhD. The speaker began his talk by congratulating Letran for having a successful mental health and well-being celebration.

To formally begin, Dr. Arañas discussed that people's mindset towards mental health never changes. He gave brief stories about his patients that encouraged parents to support their children’s mental wellbeing. “It doesn't matter how old you are, it doesn't matter how young you are...” Mr. Joy-Alvi stated as he explained that stress and depression is serious and can happen to anyone. Afterwards, he introduced the topics that he discussed such as the issues about mental wellness in the midst of a pandemic and ways to handle the present situation.

According to him, physical and mental wellness are both important. However, people tend to focus only on their physical health. In line with this, he said that parents must understand their children because there are changes that they can’t understand. As a result, they become aggressive considering that children are in the confusing stage of gender preferences. Children are also in the stage where expectations from their parents and from themselves are high which can leave them being constantly pressured.

“We need to know their generation. Right now, the changes of our children are so fast. We can't compare them in our generation. They are more exposed right now,” the speaker reinforced.

Dr. Joy-Alvi reminded parents to check their children and ask “how they are”. He further said that parents should not be satisfied with their children’s excuse of “I’m fine”, because of the underlying message beyond that word. Instead, they should observe their behavior.

Furthermore, he explained the number of thoughts of an average person leads up to 25-50,000 a day. Thus, emphasizing why people should prioritize their mental wellbeing. He also introduced mental health problem-myths and facts wherein one of the myths claimed that mental health issues don’t affect people but in fact, is very common and can harm the behavior of a person. Additionally, differentiation of sadness from depression was discussed to help parents in monitoring their child’s well-being and mental health.

Moreover, Mr. Joy-Alvi explained the early warnings and symptoms of a major depressive episode and described the new normal as a “time of uncertainty.” He added that in this time of pandemic, accepting and adjusting to stages of changes is a must as he talked about academic struggles during the pandemic. Parents considering and understanding a student’s struggle will lead to less expectation and less academic pressure.

As the webinar ended, he gave a few reminders of quarantine protocols, finding social support and seeking professional help as an advisory to prioritize self-care. After this, he pointed out three things, “Be gentle to yourself, Be aware of your emotions, Be aware of the Red Flags,” to remind that people can't control emotions, however they can manage it. “Don't be too reactive, especially on your child’s academic performance. Accept that they are growing up and teach them to be responsible,” he added as he finished his presentation.