A Reflection on the Race Issue - A Year Later

By Avanthi Chen - Contributing Writer

In the midst of all this chaos, I realized it had been just over a year since the Special Issue on Race had been published. I had written an article at that time about my experience as a student of color in Hastings, and I have not stopped writing about it since.

Rereading it now, I see myself scraping the surface of complex issues, issues I have been diving deep into throughout my senior year. The article, too, marked the first time I fully confronted the mix of joy, anxiety, and resentment I felt growing up in Hastings.

That was hard to do. I remember literally starting to cry in Mr. Abrams’ classroom because I was so overwhelmed by the idea of publishing thoughts and feelings I had kept so private for so long. I was convinced I’d be met with criticism, that people would tell me I was too sensitive, that I should feel lucky to live in Hastings. Reading the article now, I can only see the countless qualifiers in each sentence and how hilariously timid I sounded, despite how much anger I felt at the time.

I have come a long way. And a lot of that is because of the people I met writing that article. Writing it forced me to connect with other students of color on issues of race and racism, and opened my eyes to a community of POC I wasn’t aware of. It launched me into my mission to start HHS’s first Racial Affinity Group, and soon I was drafting flyers, meeting with faculty, and talking up my ideas to other students.

With the help of our incredible advisor, Jenice Mateo-Toledo, a group of around 10 students of color began meeting every month. Most of the time we just talked—about our lives, about what was bothering us, annoying things some of our white peers had done, and how we struggled to confront them. But the affinity group empowered me in ways I didn’t expect.

In a Zoom call with Mr. Abrams last Sunday, just processing the events of the past couple weeks, I was reminded of a surfing metaphor (bear with me) I heard once used to describe learning a new skill.

If you want to learn to surf, it’s important to practice getting up on the board, even when there are no waves. That way, when the waves come, you’ll know how to ride them. Those who don’t practice, who never try to get up on that board when no one’s looking, won’t be able to when it counts.

I realize now, that my friends and I in the Affinity Group were working up a skill over the course of this past year when no one was looking. And when George Floyd was murdered, and the waves hit, it felt like we were some of the few that were able to climb onto that board when it counted.

I know many of us are looking for answers to the question, “how can I be anti-racist?” And I think understanding that idea--that you’ve got to practice surfing before the waves arrive-- is a crucial part of truly learning to be anti-racist: talking about these issues even when no one is listening, when posts about racism aren’t flooding your Instagram feeds, caring even when you don’t have to.

For those of you scrambling to find an easy way to take on these issues, I have bad news: there is no easy way. This work is exhausting. Prepare for years of talking about your own racial prejudice, having horribly uncomfortable conversations, and paying attention to wherever you see racial disparities—in the school, in the workplace, in our country’s policing system. Refuse to dismiss racism as an issue that doesn’t apply to you.

And next time a wave comes, you’ll be ready, too. I’m so proud of my friends and how far we’ve come. I watched as T’nyas led hundreds of people down Warburton, and as Kalani and Ben delivered powerful speeches at rallies in town. I was in awe of how Amanda and Yakira delivered heartfelt and moving messages to the Board of Education, and how Mina shared her negative experiences with the Hastings PD with hundreds of other people. Together we learned how to talk about race and empowered each other to do so publicly.

And it is still so difficult. I struggle to find my own place in conversations about Black Lives Matter as one of the few POC in Hastings and as someone who is not black and can never know that experience. But as an ally, I know it’s important to get up on the board and try.