Well done to Roald Dahl class for having the best attendance this week in KS1. In KS2 this week, Alan Turing class just missed out on having 100% attendance but it is still impressive that they were very almost there. Well done to all! Despite having chicken pox in some classes, we still have good attendance as a school.

School anxiety and school refusal

• School refusal or school anxiety can start for any number of reasons: it might be because your child is worried about school work, friends, or bullying or it can even be triggered after a period of illness where your child has had to stay off school. Of course, during the current pandemic, lots of children are finding it hard to go back to school and we have some specific resources around coronavirus below.

• It may be hard for your child to express why they feel the way they do and they may be worried about telling you if it involves others. It is important that they are encouraged to talk so you can make a plan together. While avoiding school is understandable when it causes anxiety, it becomes very hard to go back to school once you’ve been off for a while. Parents need to try and tread the very fine line between being sensitive to their child’s needs and worries (and not dismissing them) , while being aware that avoidance tends to make the problem worse. We’ve picked some really great resources to help you manage your child’s anxiety, your own emotional needs and find some practical advice.
  See also the section on anxiety and the general primary page for some resources on building confidence and resilience.

• You may also like to speak to your child’s school. Find out from the school who is the best person to talk to. It may be the Special Educational Needs worker (SENCO), the Headteacher, the class teacher or the Head of Year.

Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi5uIlYuAHI

Post lockdown anxiety?

• Managing back-to-school anxiety after lockdown

• Five ways to help your child settle back into the school routine

• Back-to -school anxiety after coronavirus Written by clinical psychologists, some really practical ideas including the idea of using ‘worry time’.

• Lunchbox Notes- Ways to help your child with back-to-school nerves

General school anxiety?

• Starting secondary school this summer? Top Tips from BBC Bitesize with videos and advice from other young people

• Advice for parents on anxiety and phobias in children, including advice on school phobia.

• Problems at school– this links you to a great video “in trouble at school”

• School related problems such as problems with friends, exam stress, homework and revision, moving schools, worrying about your future and more. Lots of really useful resources here for all age groups.

• Ideas on how to talk with your child and the school plus information on the legal aspects of school attendance

• School refusal- an article written for teachers which is useful to help you understand what schools can do to support you and your child. There is also a link to mood journals and a sample back to school plan.

• Strategies that are adapted for children with autism

Books

• What to do when you don’t want to be apart: A kids’ guide to overcoming separation anxiety by Lavalee, Schneider and McDonnell for ages 4+ years.

• Meesha Makes Friends by Tom Percival. A beautifully illustrated book about Meesha who struggles to make friends – perfect for children who struggle to navigate social situations.

• Ruby’s Worry and Tilda Tries Again Two more books by Tom Percival about coping with anxiety and challenging situations.

• Ella on the Outside by Cath Howe. A book about anxiety, self-esteem and friendship written by a primary school teacher. Available in your local library as part of the Reading Well scheme.

• Overcoming School Refusal A practical guide for teachers, counsellors, caseworkers and parents by Joanne Garfi. Written by a psychologist who has spent 30 years helping children who school refusal, it is well indexed giving advice for parents and schools on how to tackle this issue.

• Getting Your Child to Say”Yes” to School ·A Guide for Parents of Youth with School Refusal Behavior by Christopher Kearney. This is an American book, which has received good reviews from parents. It is aimed at parents and provides suggestions on how to help.

Self-esteem

Self-esteem can be boosted in so many ways, but it’s not about praising everything a child does or never telling them off. Here are a few top tips, but most of all we grown-ups need to remember these things for ourselves, not call ourselves stupid when we fail and model self-acceptance and kindness ! Some of the resources below could be done together with your child to build their overall self confidence. Children that have experienced trauma when they were younger, may especially struggle with poor self-esteem and need lots of descriptive praise (see both videos below).

1. Research shows that self-esteem is boosted by trying new things and by understanding that mistakes are a part of learning. It isn’t boosted by being praised for something we have no control over (e.g. how we look) nor is it helped by being told off for making mistakes. Praise is most effective if it’s specific (“I liked the way you helped me with my bag”) rather than general (“good boy”) For a short video of some examples of descriptive praise, see the bottom of this page. For children who are really struggling, try noticing every small things they do well or make an effort with.
   

2. If a child behaves badly, try to call out the behaviour rather than call the child rude, lazy or naughty. If you’re really thinking about it and have time to take a deep breath, offering an alternative behaviour that you’d rather see can be nice way of doing this e.g ” instead of shouting at mummy, you could try asking in a quiet voice and saying please”. No guarantees it will work every time but it’s a lot less undermining and you will feel better too!
   

3. Parents and carers naturally want to help their children in any way possible- fix their problems and remove obstacles in their way. It’s hard to realise that sometimes that can inadvertently result in children feeling less able and more anxious, as they haven’t learnt how to negotiate those bumps in the road. For younger children, you can still give them a feeling of control even when you’re helping by looking at choices together and asking for their suggestions. Even harder might be allowing them to make a choice you don’t think is great and letting them see what happens -as long as it’s safe of course. Read on for more advice from these charities and professionals.

Boosting your child’s self-esteem

• Self-Esteem & Mental Health | Guide For Parents | YoungMinds

• Helping your child build self-esteem – Family Lives

• Low self-esteem in children and how you can help as a parent/carer from CAMHS North Derbyshire

• How do I know if my child has low self-esteem and how can I help build my child’s self-esteem?From the charity Action for Children with a quiz, a discussion on social media and self-esteem and links to an activity diary to help highlight when things go well.

• Self-esteem tips for children aged 1-18 years – raisingchildren.net.au Great advice for all ages with advice on how to teach your child to handle when things go wrong. The video below shows some examples of using descriptive praise.

• Strong Is The New Pretty and The Heart Of A Boy are two books of glorious photographs by Kate Parker celebrating girls and boys and their strength, resilience, and spirit.

Helping me feel good about myself

• What is self-esteem and how can I boost it?
  Always putting yourself down? Boosting your confidence with extra advice on building self-belief after bullying and bringing out the best in you.

• Boost your mood and confidence by trying something new– try this game for some ideas.

• Michael Jordan -a kid’s book about not fearing failure so you can succeed for 4-8 yrs.

• Zero by Kathryn Otoshi. As budding young readers learn about numbers and counting, they are also introduced to accepting different body types, developing social skills and character, and learning what it means to find value in yourself and in others. You may be able to get this in your local library.

• Small Saul by A. Spires. Great for younger children who love pirates and who may benefit from a small boost in self-acceptance.

• Confidence is my superpower for 4-8 yrs written by a teacher and recommended by parents.

• Mistakes are how I learn for pre- and primary school age children written by a teacher.

• ‘Be Yourself- Why it’s great to be you! by Poppy O’Neill. A story with lots of tips for parents along the way, celebrating individuality. Also useful in schools.
  

• You’re a star. A child’s guide to self esteem’ by Poppy O’Neil. This practical guide combines proven cognitive-behavioural therapy methods used by child psychologists in schools with simple activities to help your child grow their self-esteem. It’s aimed at children aged 7–11 because a lot happens in these years that can impact a child’s sense of self-worth, not just now but for years to come. Your child will be guided, with the help of Bop – a friendly and supportive character they can identify with – through fun and engaging activities which are interspersed with useful tips, inspirational statements and practical information for parents.

• ‘Happy confident me life skill journal’ Written by esteemed and highly reputable Psychologist Dr. Linda Papadopoulos, together with Parenting expert and Coach Nadim Saad, the pair have called on their decades of clinical and coaching experience to combine their real-world experiences with the latest research in wellbeing to help children thrive. Age 8 – 13 years.

• ‘I am enough’ by Grace Byers. Buy it or watch it read aloud here: (14) Grace Byers Reads “I Am Enough” | Bookmarks | Netflix Jr – YouTube This gorgeous, lyrical ode to loving who you are, respecting others, and being kind to one another comes from Empire actor and activist Grace Byers and talented newcomer artist Keturah A. Bobo.

• ‘I like myself’ by Karen Beaumont. Buy it or watch it read aloud here: (14) Read Aloud: I Like Myself By: Karen Beaumont – YouTube Exuberant rhymes and wild illustrations celebrate self-acceptance and self-love

• Self-esteem | PlantLoveGrow. Worksheets to help with self-esteem, self-love, self-acceptance, self-pride, gratitude, positive affirmations, self-respect, body acceptance.

Here is a link to the Happy Maps website which has lots of information happymaps.co.uk/age-group/primaryschool/