☆ Advice Column ☆

Advice by Alyssa Wheeler

It is challenging enough to be a high school student, but it is even harder to find a positive group of friends to surround yourself with. Being around people who are constantly negative will eventually make you act more negative. The best thing to do in this situation is to distance yourself from that person or the group. The more energy you give to them the more energy they will suck out of you. Hanging around people who frequently bring you down and make you feel bad about yourself are not truly your friends. It can be hard to separate yourself from this kind of energy, but you will find that at the end of the day it will make you feel so much better. Finding people who make you feel confident, happy, and make you feel like life is really worth living are the people to keep around. You should be able to express yourself and your feelings openly. Never let somebody take your spark. Everybody is different, surround yourself with people who love you for you, and remember that you never have to settle for less than what you deserve.  

Person 1: For sciences, our school offers many different classes that include environmental studies, geography, and social sciences. If you are a junior, I recommend exploring some of the other classes offered, but remember you have the opportunity to not take one at all. If you are a freshman or sophomore, although you need to take a physical science and biology class, you can break them up and take them other years. If you are interested in Psychology, but worried you might not be able to take on that workload, just remember that there are always ways to succeed, and teachers will help you reach your goals the best they can. If you have a genuine interest in this class, just know that high school is short and if you never try, you will never know!

Person 1: There are many ways for students to get involved in their community. If you are not sure where to start you can always ask your guidance counselor, who is more than likely to have many connections and community service opportunities. If for some reason that does not work, your family, teachers and peers may know some people who could help you better your community.

Person 1: Everyone knows that high school at times can be extremely overwhelming and uncontrollable, but if you participate in what's right for you, nothing should be uncontrollable. High school may seem like a big battle, but there are always people in your community, and school, who want you to do the best you can. I recommend you advocate for yourself as much as you can and take classes that are right for you. Extracurricular activities are also not for everyone so don't feel obligated to participate if you think that might overwhelm you. Remember that success doesn't look the same for everyone, so do the best you can and you will be alright.

Person 1: Be open about it. Hopefully since they are far away from each other and seem like they don't talk a lot, she can move on after finding out. It will probably hurt but it would hurt more if she didn't know and found out another way.

Person 2: Was Brian ever talking to Penny? Like was that ever a thing or was this all just Penny wanting Brian. If it was, I'd suggest you tell Penny and try to get her to move on from Brian because if she found out from Brian she'd probably react weird. If Brian had been flirting with her though, Brian would probably have to tell her it's not gonna happen because he shouldn’t have lead her on if he knew it wasn’t gonna happen. 

Person 1: If you are close friends, he might not see this as an insult and more as joking around. If you two make fun of each other in small ways like this and both of you are okay with it, that can be healthy. If it has gotten out of control and you aren't comfortable with him talking to you like that, you should bring it up to him and set boundaries in your friendship, and make sure to respect him the same if you feel like this.

Person 2: Maybe give him a little grace, when he insults you he's probably just messing with you not actually trying to hurt your feelings. He may be used to talking like that with guys and switching up fully to talk to a girl is difficult. 

Person 1: We made sure to include multiple sources and focus on the facts to provide as unbiased an opinion as possible. The political section in the last edition primarily focused on the percentages and multiple poll models.

Person 1: The new grading system is very overwhelming when you look at it in the big picture, and while  I would like to find the good in this new system, I am struggling to find it. Although, when I find myself feeling overwhelmed with it, I think about how I can set myself up for success and what that means for me. If you continue to feel overwhelmed by this, you are welcome to go to guidance and see what they can do to make it feel less stressful.

Person 2: This new system is a lot to take in, especially if you are later in your high school career the grading system is very hard to understand from a student perspective so talking with a teacher who understands it would help a lot. Overall, communicating with your teachers is vital when navigating a new grading system. Understanding what the teacher wants from you out of the class will help a lot.

Person 1: When I get overwhelmed with schools, sports, and clubs, I like to write out to-do lists, agendas, and make schedules with time to relax and do some things that I enjoy built into them. This helps me feel like I can do all of my work while still having some time to do things that bring me joy.

Person 2: One thing I do is not sign up for too many clubs so I have more time to focus on homework and academics. But if you are the kind of person who wants to be involved in multiple activities you could practice time management and utilize any free time you have inbetween school and extracurriculars. That would be my main suggestion but also communicate with teachers about deadlines and ask for extensions if possible. Some teachers are strict about deadlines but hopefully most should be very flexible. Flex periods are very important to get homework done. 

Person 1 and 2: We feel as though students have to be partially self motivated to participate in these events, but we know that as the school year goes on, people get more busy and it is harder to find time to participate. One way that you could get students more involved in school events is to cater what certain students like the events going on. For example, if students have more of an interest in politics, try to advertise those sorts of clubs, field trips and events to thise students specifically. 

Person 1: Unfortunately, I know that many students are not motivated to read, but I also know many that are. Some ways that you could get more students to check books out from the library, is by advertising popular books and/or setting up some sort of book club where students can pick books and discuss them every once in a while.

Person 2:   Aside from the typical displays, I think that sharing some of the new, or popular books that are available, during morning announcements, might increase interest in checking out library books. :)

Person 1: I’m sorry you have to go through this, and I hope he is doing well. There isn’t much that can be done about this, but find a circle of people you can trust and lean on when you need to. Just find them when you need them and perhaps have a good cry. Keep positive thoughts going and DO NOT go negative. If you find that you are, talk to someone about it. It will be ok and it will work out. I hope things work out well and he gets back on his feet soon. I’m here for you even though you don’t know me. :)

Person 2: I am so sorry you have to go through that. I hope he improves soon. My recommendation for how to deal with it is to not give up hope. I know that might sound cheesy, but it is the biggest thing you can do to make it through, try to stay positive and keep going. You will get through this, and I hope your father’s condition gets better.

Person 1: I would say that it’s important to schedule study halls, so you can get your work in too. It is difficult to balance all of this, but I’m confident you can handle it since you signed up for the classes. Take advantage of flex, free this space up for yourself to work on the assignments. There is also advisory to do some of the work. When/if you get a job don’t schedule yourself for every single day, make sure you give yourself days off so you can rest and recover. Don’t push yourself too hard either, do what you can. Prioritize what you don’t understand first, then what you do understand. Grades aren’t everything.

Person 2: Definitely have a schedule, or some other way to organize your time. Make sure you set aside enough time after school to do your schoolwork, and also if you have a study hall, use that time to get any work you can done. If you do not have a study hall, then just make sure you leave enough time for your work. Also, make sure not to push yourself too much to the point of burnout or illness. You need to be sure you leave time for things you enjoy and to relax, if you don’t then it will likely be quite difficult on your mental health to juggle everything.

Person 1: First off, why did you get so many mannequin heads? And second, if you aren’t going to use them, give them to people who will, sell them, literally anything. They’re heads. There are definitely people out there who will use them.

Person 2: I don’t know why or how you would have a bunch of mannequin heads, but I would say come up with some craft or project to do with them, and/or if you know anyone that would want some, maybe offer some heads to them? 

Person 1: College is a huge thing to tackle, so I’m just going to give you some small things to help with it. The first thing I would do is establish what you want to do in college, and whether or not you will be going right after high school. That will determine how much you need to get done and when you need it done by. Utilize your counselors too, they are here to help. Start with an idea of what kind of college you would like to go to before looking at any. Create a list of possible colleges on a spreadsheet, write down pros and cons. This may seem overwhelming, I know it did to me, but when I broke it down into sections I was able to see it really wasn’t much. Block out a chunk of time to focus on college.

Person 2: Okay, college as a whole is very vague, but I will do my best to give some advice on the topic. First off, start applying for scholarships as soon as possible, like in the middle of your junior year. Second, make sure to take time and visit colleges you are applying to, this can really help with narrowing down your list. Third, make sure to have multiple people proofread your essays for your college applications. Lastly for this part of the college process, make sure to utilize some of the online tools for your searching, one that I used and found quite helpful was Niche.com. When you are trying to decide which college to commit to once you’ve gotten your acceptance letters, make sure to visit them, attend the virtual information meetings, and try to talk to some students at the schools you are considering. But in the end, you will need to pick the school that feels right to you. Now, for tips when you are in college, make sure to advocate for yourself, ask the professors for help when you need it, and always do the work so you don’t fall behind. I hope at least some of that helped.

Person 1: One of the best ways to feel comfortable at school is to surround yourself with people that accept you for you, if you haven’t already done that. I am not positive about whether or not it is possible to change your name and pronouns in the school system, I’m pretty sure it is, but I would definitely talk to guidance because they will know and they should be able to help you through the process, if it is possible.

Person 2: I have a friend that was able to change their name, however it was a frustrating process where they had to constantly remind guidance to get it fixed. I am unsure if it was because the guidance counselors had to go through a process or if they just forgot. As to feeling comfortable in school surround yourself with people who will accept you, but I think the unfortunate truth is that there are so many people and you aren’t always with friends so you won’t have protection, I have heard from a trans student that they get bullied for using the bathroom, so sadly it is hard to be completely comfortable when some people won’t like you.

Person 1: I can understand that, coming from personal experience, the best thing I can recommend is to play some kind of game. Whether that is playing tag or playing some kind of sport with friends. Have fun with it, that is the best advice I can give.

Person 2: Having back and foot pain makes that very hard, I would say grab a hammock at home if you have one or a tent, just something waterproof in general and lay on it. If there is an outdoor bball hoop you could play horse, there isn’t much movement with that. You could also go drive to a lake and sit on the beach, or just sit in the trunk with a friend and talk.

Person 1: I would say she doesn’t sound like much of a friend and I would definitely stop being friends with someone that would treat you that way. You deserve so much better.

Person 2: I am so very sorry you have to deal with this, but I feel like you shouldn’t have forgiven her easily. Since she also was ignoring you by choice when she still could’ve talked to you without you knowing she’s seeing your boyfriend, she doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore but doesn't want to be mean about it. I say you need to talk to her about the things she did and how she wants to move forward, as hard as it is to hear if she doesn’t change you shouldn’t be friends with her, what she did isn’t ok. I hope you have other friends you can rely on, you deserve much better than her. Again, I am so sorry you have to go through this, things will turn out alright in the end I promise.

Person 1: I would say the best way to get more students interested in reading the books might be to make the book options more readily known. This might be by sending out a monthly email to highlight some of the new books that students might be interested in. I think part of the problem might be that students aren’t aware of the books that are available for them to take out.

Person 2: That is a good question, I know from my experience a lot of people don’t seem to like to read, and for me as a reader I never have enough time to read because of schoolwork and life. Perhaps if there was a dedicated time for just reading, like during your entire English class on Friday. Of course that is up to teachers. I’ve noticed a lot of good books that intrigue me, but most often it is because I am bored in the library and it just happens to catch my eye, perhaps sending out a monthly email with some book recommendations would let students know that you have what they want.

Person 1: She is one of our assistant principals.

Person 1: Try to identify the major causes of distraction for you and eliminate them. If you have trouble focusing due to noise, maybe try noise canceling headphones. If it is more so that you are having a hard time having enough concentration, then try doing work for 30-45 minutes then taking a 5-10 minute break. Don’t work for too long, try to break up your work into more reasonable sections. 

Person 2: I have a hard time focusing as well, and I have my own fidget toys I can play with during class so my brain has that background thing to focus on so I can work on what I’m supposed to be. Soft classical music also helps me, and sometimes I have to remove myself from everyone because they’re being too loud, or I put headphones in. It’s also really hard to focus on schoolwork you aren’t interested in, my best advice is to have a friend to do it with, and if you can’t try giving yourself a reward for when you finish focusing. If you can recognize when you burn out from working, take a break and do something you enjoy, no longer than an hour. I do, on occasion, procrastinate things till the last minute so anxiety kicks in and I can focus. Outside of school if you need to focus on something and you can, go to a quiet space where you can be alone. I hope these help!

Person 1:

The biggest suggestion I can give you is to do the work early so that you don’t lack too much motivation when doing it last minute. I would also recommend trying to find someone in the class that you can be friends with, if you don’t already have someone. Doing this will help keep the class a little more enjoyable for you.

Person 2:

I would say if you get homework in that class do it as soon as possible, if you can do it after class do it then so you don’t have to think about it more than necessary. If you are finding this class hard, find someone who understands it and can help you through it. Good luck!!

Person 3:

Tackle all of the work you can and do your best. There’s not much you can do to get out of a situation like this, but do your best to make it the most positive experience possible, like finding other people in the class that you relate to.

Person 1:

If you need a job, then I would recommend finding places that are hiring, then asking for an application, filling it out, and if you don’t get hired, then apply to more places. Take initiative. That is the best advice I can give.

Person 2:

Talk around your friend group and maybe some of their friends asking what their job is, pay rate, and if you are interested apply. I would talk to guidance about resumes and applying if you have any questions, just look online for a job that you might be interested in and apply to as many as you think necessary.

Person 3:

Find some places where you would enjoy working in your range of interests, get some help making a resume (maybe from the guidance counselors at school), and submit it to a couple of places that are hiring. Have confidence in yourself, too.

Person 1:

I would suggest talking to someone about your concerns. I would also suggest surrounding yourself with people who love and will protect you. If people do start giving you a hard time about it, please reach out to a trusted adult who can hopefully help resolve the situation if one does arise.

Person 2:

Educating phobes on the subject can be a little risky, as they could take it the wrong way. As a member myself I really don’t care who knows and if people hate me for it then they don’t deserve to be a part of my life, I will give them a chance to change though. If they start to become bully’s talk to them and see why and explain that it’s hurtful, maybe politely ask them to stop, and if that doesn’t work I would talk to an adult about it who has the power to stop them.

Person 3:

Always reach out to a trusted teacher or counselor if you feel threatened in any way, shape, or form. If you do start to be noticed, that is okay. There is, of course, nothing wrong with who you are, and embrace that! I personally am proud of you. <3 In regards to the not-so-nice people, always report any sort of harassment or even small comments to someone you trust. You’ll never really be able to avoid all bad people, but you can handle it in a way that will end with them (hopefully) rethinking their words or actions.

Person 1:

I would recommend backing off and leaving them alone because it doesn’t sound like either one of them are interested in you for the right reasons, so it would be better to focus your attention elsewhere.

Person 2:

I think that they are toxic people to you and you should avoid them in regards to that. If he really cared about you he wouldn’t set you up with his friend, and you should never date someone who is so shallow as to only care about your appearance. 

Person 3:

Trust me… I know how hard that is. It is a crushing feeling to have someone play games with you, whether or not it is on purpose. My best advice to you would be to let it go. He is not worth you or your time, and I can guarantee that there are many more wonderful people out there who will love you properly, above all superficial things. You are very young and have your whole life ahead of you, and you should be the number one priority for a long time before anyone else comes into the picture. If, after walking away (or doing what you feel is best), you still do feel the effects and cannot stop thinking about it, definitely reach out to a trusted friend, adult, or even teacher or counselor to talk about how you are thinking and feeling. It will take time, but I have 100% faith that you will be okay. Time heals everything, I promise. :-)

Person 1:

I would say you should try sitting down and telling them that what they are doing is bothering you, and trying to talk through this issue.

Person 2:

I would talk to them, talking solves a lot of issues, and if they don’t listen maybe don’t play with them anymore.

Person 3:

Definitely take some time to sit down with them and talk about how you feel. Being completely honest about your feelings is in no way mean or judgemental, just so you know, and a good friend will always be receptive to how you feel no matter what. They seem to have some hypocritical tendencies as well, which is okay, as nobody’s perfect! I would ask them to talk about it in a calm environment and just be completely open about how they’re making you feel. If they receive it well, they are a keeper. If they do not, or get angry, defensive, etc., try your best to help them. However, if they do not change after some time and keep ignoring how you feel, I would walk away. It’s never good to be around negative people who don’t try their best for the people they care about.

Person 1:

I would recommend talking to your doctor if you are concerned about it because they are qualified and should be able to help you with a diagnosis and with dealing with your diagnosis.

Person 2:

I would like to start off by saying that almost no one fits perfectly into any symptoms of a disorder, everyone experiences things differently. As seeing that you have done research on your own and probably have a pretty clear idea of what it may be, I would talk to your doctor so you can get a diagnosis and help. Always remember that your loved ones want to help and will accept all of you, and if they don't, time will help them process or they are not worth the trouble.

Person 3:

I personally am certainly qualified to a certain extent to reach out a helping hand. I myself have a diagnosed personality disorder, and the day I got that diagnosis was one of the most freeing days of my life. It is, indeed, very hard to live with it, but after I found out where some of my issues were coming from, so many opportunities opened up for me. I want this for you as well, so my best advice for you would be to talk to your doctor; the one you see to get your annual physicals and such. If you do not have one, reach out to a trusted adult, whether it be your parents, a counselor, or anyone you can think of that could get you started. With both of those scenarios, and especially if you end up talking to your physician, bring up your concerns. Explain why you think you may have these disorders and ask what the next steps are for you. Your doctor will always give you resources and get you started on the road to diagnosis and treatment, and other adults can certainly help you find the right people to get in contact with. My heart really goes out to you, so if you need anything else, please contact the editors of the paper and I will get in touch with you. :-)

Person 1:

A couple ways to cool down would be to enjoy some ice cream or a popsicle, and if that doesn’t work, you could try using a fan. To also help, you could have some ice water, that should help. I can’t think of much else to try, but in the past the things listed are what I’ve done and they usually work at least a little bit.

Person 2:

I usually use a fan, or have a cold food or drink. If that doesn’t work the only thing I can do then is find shade from the sun and spread out and don’t do anything, cuz we give off body heat so I avoid touching myself.

Person 3:

Even if you don't have AC, there are a bunch of ways to cool down your house naturally. One easy way is opening windows at night and closing and latching them in the morning. This way, the cooler night air cools your house down, and the cool air will stay in there through the day. Another way is tacking blankets over the windows so the sun doesn't heat up your bedroom. If you have curtains, those are better, obviously, but blankets are an easier option for most people. 

Person 1:

A couple ways to cool down would be to enjoy some ice cream or a popsicle, and if that doesn’t work, you could try using a fan. To also help, you could have some ice water, that should help. I can’t think of much else to try, but in the past the things listed are what I’ve done and they usually work at least a little bit.

Person 2:

I usually use a fan, or have a cold food or drink. If that doesn’t work the only thing I can do then is find shade from the sun and spread out and don’t do anything, cuz we give off body heat so I avoid touching myself.

Person 1:

From what I’ve heard, we are most likely going to have 7 periods, but I can’t guarantee anything

Person 2:

I heard that we are going to keep the blue gold schedule but make friday a skinny day where we have all 7. But nothing is set in stone.

Person 1:

First of all, take a second and think not just about what you want, but also what would be best for them. You don’t want to end up hurting them or yourself by trying to get back into a relationship that only one of you wants. Now if you still want to continue trying to get back with them, the first step would be to become friends with them (one thing at a time…you don’t want to rush it), and you also want to see how they feel. From there, you want to work towards having a close relationship with them again, like I said before, you don’t want to rush it because that will get you nowhere. Take things slow and work on just rebuilding the relationship you had before then maybe you will be able to eventually get back together like you are hoping.

Person 2:

Things will ultimately take its own course, you can’t force someone to love you. But since you are trying, try to identify why the relationship didn’t work out in the first place. From there, if it’s something that can be helped, like not spending time enough time with them, you might have a chance. If it’s something like lack of interest, well, unfortunately that can’t be helped. Start off this new relationship with them as getting to know them again. Become friends with them, and notice your feelings for them. But also notice how they feel. It’s important to listen to them. Take it slowly, feel it out. Rushing will make it worse. If it seems like you both feel the same way go for it, and if they don’t seem interested like that then stay friends with them, it’s better than nothing.

Person 1:

If I were you, I wouldn’t have gone to “Mickey Ds” in the first place, but since you are already there, I would suggest chicken nuggets, french fries, a shake, and a cinnamon roll. That way you’ve got a beverage, your main food, a side, and a dessert. 

Person 2:

I would say go somewhere better to eat. But, if you can’t, get something on the healthier side, because if you eat well, and then eat really greasy food, it can make you feel sluggish and gross. I know I don't really go there because of that, I will say the shakes are good though. 

Person 1:

You could say: “Can you please stop making fart noises, it is making it hard for me to do my schoolwork,” and if that doesn’t work, you could always ask the teacher if you could work in the hallway or somewhere else since those people are distracting. This will show the teacher that the people are causing problems for the other students, while not being rude or tattling.

Person 2:

You could make even louder farting noises to establish dominance. 

Person 1:

You could start by setting times for yourself throughout the day to eat a small snack, and/or drink some water. If you set one or two times to eat a small snack like maybe a couple crackers or something like that then over time it will become more of a habit. For the water, you could decide to drink some water at least once every hour, so at 12, you take a sip from your water, then at 1, this way you are staying hydrated but also making it kind of structured so that it will eventually become a habit, and you won’t have to really think about it.

Person 2:

You can set alarms to help you remember to eat and drink. You can also prepare some meals for the week for yourself, or even the night before. This makes it easy for you to eat in the mornings because you don’t have to make anything, the food is already made. With water drink a full glass of water in the morning, set a reminder if needed. This can help wake you up and already gives you some hydration for the day. Drinking a lot of water with meals can make your stomach upset, so what I do and recommend is try to drink water between meals. I’m not saying don’t drink anything when you eat, I’m saying don’t sit down to eat, realize you haven’t had anything to drink all day, and decide to have 12 oz of water with your food. Honestly, just try to set alarms and make it a habit, so in the future, it won’t be as much, if really, a problem.

Person 3:

Well since I’m in somewhat of the same boat, I don’t drink even close to enough water, it’s not affecting me in any way, and i don’t know if you know Emma Chamberlain but she drinks like coffee only and no water yet she’s doing fine. I have yet to figure out a way to drink more water, sometimes I’ll just be like “I’m thirsty” and gulp lots of water which you shouldn’t do, I don’t know if this’ll help you but there is a water bottle that has times on it it for the water to be drunk by. With the eating thing, many people don’t eat in the morning because they don’t have time, and I know eating a lot or a little is a thing, and if you don’t feel like eating much and it’s not affecting you negatively than don’t worry about it that much, as long as you’ll eat when you’re starving than I say you’re good. That’s what I’ve done.

Person 1:

Well, I’d suggest going to a therapist, it won’t cure you, but it will definitely help. 

Person 2:

I’m a little concerned this situation even took place, but I recommend going to a therapist. They should be able to help you, it won’t cure you, but it should make a positive difference.

Person 1:

First off, why would you get 14 frogs if you didn’t know how to care for them? Second, since it’s too late to turn back now, I would do some research on the kind of habitat/enclosure needed for the specific type of frog(s) and based on that build a plan. Figure out how often you will need to clean it, what supplies you will need to get, and what to do if one of them gets sick or a problem arises with their enclosure and you have to move them to a temporary living space.

Person 2:

I want to start this with: if you get a pet without knowing how to take care of it, you really shouldn’t have gotten that pet. But anyways, if you want advice, I would need to know what kind of frogs they are. What I suggest for you is to look up how to care for each of the kinds of frogs you have, and then do what you can with the information you find to take care of the frogs. It shouldn’t take long to get this information. If you find that the frogs should live with someone else, do what is best for them. 

Person 3:

How on earth were you able to get 14 frogs if you didn’t know how to take care of them? But if you hypothetically were to somehow get 14 frogs, then I would talk to an expert or look up how to take care of frogs. You have the internet at your disposal, so use it. 

Person 1:

Go to a veterinarian. Certainly don’t try to do it yourself, you could injure the cow, and probably will traumatize it.

Person 2:

Please go to a veterinarian and have them do it. Do not try to do it yourself, you will scar the cow for life and it could hold a grudge, and you could definitely fail and hurt it or yourself.

Person 1:

Well, I would start by telling your “friend” that trying to steal a plane is a bad idea. They could damage the plane, or themselves, and they will most likely go to jail. 

Person 2:

Well I would say to talk this “friend” out of yours out of stealing a plane. They could get hurt or go to prison for a very long time. 

Person 1:

First of all, if you want to break up with her, don’t keep putting it off because you aren’t helping anyone. If you don’t like the relationship you are in, don’t lead her on. Now when it comes to how to break up with her, don’t do it via phone call or text, or even facetime, make sure to do it face to face. While this may seem harder, it is much more respectful to her. When you do tell her you want to break up with her, while you may want to try and let her down gently or something like that, it is better to be straight forward. Tell her that you want to break up, and tell her why. Don’t do the “it's not you it's me” thing, give her a reason so that both of you can have closure and hopefully move on with your lives. 

Person 2:

Don’t prolong it, if you want to break up with her, just do it. Do it face to face, over call or text is disrespectful to her. Give her a reason why, if you don’t she or you might not get closure which is important to help both of you move on. 

Person 3:

I’ve never been in a relationship, but I have followed people who are in great relationships or have had videos answering questions about this, sometimes things aren’t meant to work out, and as said before, don’t wait any longer than necessary, it will hurt the other person more. 

Person 1:

There isn’t much I can suggest in this circumstance, but maybe try being friends with them, if you aren’t already. That or try to distract yourself by putting your energy into something like schoolwork, or cleaning, something to take your mind off of them.

Person 2:

If you still like the person who broke up with you, I’m sorry to hear that. I haven’t dated anyone, but I have had crushes before. Normally what can help with those or getting over someone is focusing on someone else, even if that person is yourself. 

Person 3:

I’m sorry to hear you broke up with someone and still like them, from what I’ve heard the best thing to do is give them space for a little bit and see where things go, and if you can still be friends, awesome! If you can’t, I’m sorry it turned out that way, but try talking to someone if you need to, it might take a while but the hurt will pass and life will get better.

Person 1:

You could start by coming out to your friends, and with their support, it might be easier to come out to other people. If you don’t feel comfortable with that, I would suggest attending a PRIDE club meeting. They might be able to give you some help, and support when you decide to come out to the people that you know. It can be hard, not knowing if people will accept you for you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give them a chance, maybe come out to one person you know will be supportive first. Knowing that you have the support of someone you are close with can help and make it easier for you to come out to others.

Person 2:

First off, have you heard of the pride club? It stands for People Respecting Individuality, Diversity, and Equality. We are very open and accepting, and I’m sure we as a group could come up with more advice than I can give you. We meet the last flex of every week, and we have a group hangouts. I would also like to say that there, unfortunately, will always be people that you can’t come out to. It sucks, but it’s life. If you are finding it hard to come out to someone that you don’t know will support you, have someone you know that’s part of the community come with you. I would suggest coming out to the pride club first, we will always accept you and help in any way we can.

Person 3:

Depending on which letter of LGBTQ+ you are there are different ways you can go about it. The primary thing I can suggest (if you are the T) is going to the nurse and asking to use their bathroom instead of the normal ones so you feel more safe (they definitely will let you). Of course, finding other LGBTQ+ people is also very helpful, even if you don’t have time for PRIDE club you can find them elsewhere. There are also teachers who are more than willing to help you if someone starts harassing you. If coming out to everyone is something you want/have to do, you will be okay. Find the right people to help stand by you and try your best to ignore people who, quite frankly, have no idea what they’re talking about when they spew lgbtphobic stuff. Good luck <3 

Person 1:

I had to look this up, but from the looks of it, it is just a matter of going for it. You are going to mess up the first few times that you try it, and that is okay, just remember that practice makes not perfect, but progress. Once you try it for the first time, it will be a lot less scary. You could even try practicing with a friend who already knows how to do it so they can help you and give you tips on how to improve.

Person 2: 

Try to do the smaller parts of it first, and build up the base skills. Once you have those, you have to try the full thing. Even if it doesn’t go well the first couple tries, with practice comes progress. 

Person 1:

That is something that will definitely take time. Unfortunately, there is no concrete way to get over someone, you could try focusing on something else in your life. Like maybe you focus on getting A’s in every single class, or on having a workout routine. Find something that you can focus on that is unrelated to him. Like I said, there is no one way to get over someone and it will take time, but maybe focusing your attention onto something else will help.

Person 2:

I would say stay friends with him, so you still see him. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do to stop loving someone, all I can say is time will heal the wound and you will find happiness again.

Person 3:

When recovering from a breakup even without lingering feelings there are some complicated steps you can take. The most important thing I can ever recommend is working on self improvement and self love. I know it sounds super stupid if you don’t already do it a lot, but sometimes journaling, responding to writing prompts, getting an astrology app and reflecting on if the horoscope fit the day or not, and so many other things can help you realize that you are already with the person who can love and help you the most: yourself. His mother is definitely a complicated aspect and I don’t think you have to stop talking to her at all. Perhaps with him it may be best for you to at least cut the friendship for a little bit until you feel comfortable in your own emotions; it might hurt for a little bit but time is a really good healer. Remember that there are so many other people out there who will treat you like you want to be treated. You have so much life left to live, I promise you will find the person who makes you feel even more in love than your ex does. 

Person 1:

I’m so happy we were able to help you! I hope you continue to get better, and thank you for letting us know you’re doing better. 

Person 2:

Oh my gosh! I’m so glad you are doing better! I wish I could help more, but knowing that our advice helped, is better than anything I could have asked for. Thank you for giving us an update, and for giving us the opportunity to help you even if it was just a little bit.

Person 3:

You have no idea how happy this makes me feel to know that I’ve actually helped someone. :) I hope things continue to get better for you. I would love to know you more so I can help better, but I’m so glad you got help.

Here is the link to a resource: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 

Person 1: 

First of all, I want to make something clear. You need to get help if you are having ANY kind of suicidal thoughts. Getting help can be extremely hard, even when you know there are people who care about you and would help you. The fear of worrying someone can cause you to choke up, and even doubt that you are having a problem. I want to tell you that if you are having suicidal thoughts, bad or not too bad, they are a problem, and this problem is valid. If someone tells you that having suicidal thoughts is “normal” or “not that big of a deal”, or excuses them with “you’ll get over it” or “it’s just hormones, you’ll feel better by yourself soon”, they are very wrong.

As someone who has in fact struggled with this same problem, and has even been told some of these things, listening to them doesn’t help you. What will help you is talking to someone you trust, especially a counselor. Your counselor is there to help you, and to make sure that you are safe and happy. If you are too scared to confront them to their face, you can email them.

I know the thoughts of “well what if I worry them? What if I’m the reason they can’t sleep at night or focus during the day? What will they do? Will they even care about this, about me?” These thoughts can be overpowering, and can make you feel like you are drowning. They burrow themselves into your skull and won’t leave unless you kick them out. Suicidal thoughts are nothing to take lightly, no matter how infrequent or “not serious” they may seem.

You need to talk to someone, whether that is a family member or your counselor; even call a suicide helpline. Your counselor and your family care about you, and will make sure that you get the help you need. If they don’t, then they aren’t fulfilling their responsibilities of taking care of you. I know at times it can feel like you are centuries old, but you are young, and have a life to live. Getting help will help you continue living, or help you start living a happy life.

I will say that as someone who has been in a very similar situation as you are in right now, getting help was extremely hard. It took months of convincing from a friend to say something to an adult who could help me, but once I did, things slowly started to get better. I was told that “it is just hormones”, and maybe it was, but who cares. That does not make suicidal thoughts any less harmful or dangerous. If I had not gotten help, and that friend hadn’t convinced me to get help, things probably wouldn’t be how they are right now, and I might not have lived to write this as I am now..

This was a few or so months ago, and at this point, I am so much happier. I am getting help, and haven’t had suicidal thoughts in a long time. When you get help, you might worry someone, but let me tell you, let them worry. Don’t say “but then they might be upset-” and start making excuses. Those same excuses could cost you your life, and dying won’t help anyone, especially not you. Once they know about what you're dealing with, they most likely will feel compelled to help you. When you do get help, and when you start to feel better, it will feel like walking out of a pitch black cave into the light outside. You’ll feel relieved that someone knows, and that you will actually start to get help, and should feel better soon. The bottom line is this: Suicidal thoughts are NOT a joke, and they are very dangerous, whether you consider them serious or not. Get help IMMEDIATELY, talk to a family member, talk to your counselor, call the suicide hotline. DO whatever it takes to get help, and if someone tries to tell you that getting help is not necessary, that suicidal thoughts aren’t a problem, or that you’ll get over it alone and shouldn’t talk to someone, they are WRONG and you need to ignore them and get help. Getting help is the first step to getting better, so go do that as soon as possible. 

No more excuses. 

Person 2: 

It can be not only hard but also scary to talk to your family, friends, and even your counselor. While they should be the first you talk to, I understand why you don’t feel comfortable doing that. There are definitely resources that are available like the suicide hotline, but I know that can be equally as scary as talking to the people you know. Something you could try is talking to one person, maybe your counselor, maybe a friend, it doesn’t matter who, just someone. Just tell them about your day, or how your week has been, but just having someone to confide in could help. If you are still having suicidal thoughts, or feel that you’ll still worry people, you need to remember, people will be a lot more worried if you don’t talk to them and something happens. I know when I heard that a friend who had been having suicidal thoughts didn’t talk to me until after they decided to get help, I was even more worried. The fact that one of my closest friends was suffering and I didn’t know made me worry more. While talking to them may make them worry at first, in the long run, they will be happy you trusted them enough to confide in them. Never doubt the amount of love your friends have for you and the lengths they would go for you. You don’t even have to immediately tell them about your suicidal thoughts, but at least reach out and confide in them a little, not only will it help you, it will help them because maybe they are worried about you not telling them about what is going on. And lastly, if you are ever about to do something to yourself, please reach out to someone, whether it be your friends, your family, your counselor, or even just the suicide hotline.

Person 3:

Your counselor is there to help you. That is the whole purpose of their job. Do not keep suicidal thoughts to yourself. I don’t care what people have told you, you need to tell someone. I totally get if you don’t want to be a burden or worry anyone, but chances are they’re going to be happier you trusted them enough to tell them. Suicidal thoughts are to be taken seriously, and even if it is scary to talk someone needs to know. I’m pretty sure you can walk into a hospital and say you’re having suicidal thoughts and they’ll take care of you. But you should definitely have someone you can go to for anything. 

One more response:

First, take a deep breath.  

Now, let me thank you.

Asking for help here is an important first step, which tells me you want to address this problem.  Moving forward, please seek additional help.  Beyond your family, friends, and counselor, there are many resources available.

*As noted above, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 

*Our guidance department: 

Pete Angus, Nicole Tenney, and Rebecca Schrader

*The administrative team:

Charles Langille, Laura Newman, Chris Geraghty, Michael McCosker, and Scott Fitzgerald

*Our KRHS Social Worker:

Theresa Georges

If you do not feel a connection with any of those people, reach out to one of your teachers or another adult here at school with whom you do feel a connection.  Reach out to me, even if you’ve never talked to me before.  We want to help you.

-Mrs. Leslie

Person 1: 

In order to “[get] girls”, one must know what kind of girl you are looking to get. Talk to her casually, even saying “Hi” or asking basic questions like “How is your day going?” can help. Get to know her so you know she is someone you are interested in. Get to know her, find out her likes and dislikes. Don’t focus on a lot of girls at a time, talk to a few and choose the girl you feel the closest to, and the one that you really want to be with. Don’t be a cheater, no one likes a cheater. Make sure to not rush things, and especially to not force things. If she doesn’t want to be with you, accept it and move on, and even if she doesn’t want to date you, you can still be her friend (probably). Don’t stalk a girl to try and figure out more about her, that is creepy. Be friendly and go with the flow, these things can take time. 

Person 2: 

Well, I don’t know how much help I will be, but the first thing you have to remember is that everyone is different. Maybe one thing to think about would be if there are any specific girls that you are interested in and focus on her. If you try to just get girls in general to like you, you will most likely fail. If you know of a specific person you like, maybe start by just talking to her and becoming her friend. Get to know her, learn about her interests and hobbies, and go from there. Don’t try to force it, if it doesn’t work out, that is okay, there will be others. One of the probably most important things is definitely don’t go for multiple girls, that never ends well, for anyone. 

Person 3: 

If you have someone in mind the first thing you should do is try to become friends with her. Start with small talk and work your way up. Just be yourself as much as you can, and don’t force anything. Try to stay away from controversial subjects, as it might turn her away quicker. You can get into details later. Don’t force things along, it will happen when it happens. Compliment her, and I don’t mean telling her you like her necklace, I mean if you notice her helping others out of kindness, compliment that. Express interest in the things she’s interested in, and if you aren’t interested in whatever she is at all, and it’s clear you two don’t have anything in common you probably aren’t meant to be together. If you or her start talking about harder subjects, show that you care, don’t just talk about you. Once you feel like you’ve gotten close and it’s an appropriate time, ask her out. If she says no, don’t push it, let her go in a dating sense. Maybe you could stay friends. As to getting girls in general, you don’t have to have a girlfriend, and it’s ok to not have a crush on anyone. It’s better to have someone in mind to go for rather than just wanting someone to date and not have feelings.

Person 1: 

I would like to start this with how being gay is not sinful, and isn’t wrong. You can’t control whether you are gay or not, just like you can’t control the weather. It is not something you can “resist”, and there is nothing wrong with being gay. In terms of resisting actually sinful things, or just bad things, find ways that can help you control yourself, talk to someone you trust if you want. Just remember that being gay is not sinful, and that it is not something you or anyone else can control. 

Person 2: 

All I can say is that being gay is not wrong or sinful and you should not put yourself down for feelings you have no control over. 

Person 3:

Being gay is not a sin, and never was or will be. Who or whatever lead you to believe that is wrong. There are people in the world who don’t like people who aren’t straight, and that is because it is different and they don’t like that. I once read somewhere that if everyone came out, bisexuals would outnumber any other sexuality. Perhaps you should come to pride club, or join our chat. We will definitely accept and help you in any way we can. As to actual sinful urges, I would say a sin is something morally wrong, and the first step is to identify that what you’re thinking/doing is morally wrong. If it is, talk about it to someone, or write it down.

Person 1: 

Well it depends what kind of legend you want to be. You don’t have to be skinny to be a legend, but if you want to lose weight, make sure you do it the healthy way. If you don’t know what that is, talk to someone like a nurse who does. Then to become a legend? Well you already are a legend, but if you wish to become a very extra legend, you need to set goals. Figure out what you need to do, and be faithful and confident in executing these goals, no matter how long it takes. The definition of a legend is “An extremely famous or notorious person, especially in a particular field” (from Dictionary on Google). This means that you can be any kind of legend you want, you just have to figure out what you want to be known for (preferably a good thing). 

Person 2: 

You are already a legend, and yes, I know how cheesy that sounds. But the trick to being a legend is to be confident in who you are, but not too confident cause then you would just be arrogant. Being a legend is about knowing what you want, if you want to get good grades, then work hard, and get legendary good grades. You just have to make your mark on this world, try to do something to make a difference (in a good way).

Person 1: 

Step 1: Talk to The Rap God.

Step 2: Become friends with The Rap God.

Step 3: Understand how The Rap God does things.

Step 4: Become the apprentice of The Rap God

Step 5: Master the art of rapping. 

Step 6: Become best friends with The Rap God.

Step 7: When The Rap God retires from being The Rap God, hope that you are the one chosen by The Rap God to be The New Rap God.

Step 8: Have a safe and family-friendly party to celebrate being The New Rap God :D

Person 2:

Rather than trying to become someone else, try embracing yourself. If you still want to be like “the rap god” then focus on improving your rapping skills rather than trying to be someone else, work to earn the title you want.

Person 1:

Making friends can be quite intimidating, I can definitely attest to that. It can be scary not knowing what to say to someone, or even just walking up to someone to talk to them for the first time. I think a big part of it is just a matter of taking a leap of faith and just starting up a conversation with someone in one of your classes. It could be about anything, you could ask them a question you have about the homework or what you are learning. Or, you could just start by saying, “Hi.” It might be a little awkward at first, but maybe you’ll start up a nice conversation, and then the next time it will be a little easier to start up a conversation with that person. If you don’t feel comfortable with that because I know that just starting a conversation with someone you rarely talk to can be hard, you could also see if anyone in your group of friends could maybe introduce you to some of their other friends. That way there is someone else to start the conversation and that is someone you are comfortable with so it can make it a little easier.

Person 2:

It can be hard to judge if a person will be a good friend, and I know it can be awkward when you think someone will be a good friend, but it turns out that they aren’t good for you to be around. It can be a tough situation, but you can also take steps to avoid it. One way is to see how they talk to other people, even teachers. If they are rude or don’t seem like a positive person to be around, then don’t force yourself to talk to them. There are people who can be charismatic and confident, and they might seem hard to approach, but the odds are that those are the best kinds of people for friends, and they are the type to help lift you up if things aren’t the best right now. 

When it comes to confiding in friends, it can certainly be difficult. But once you get to know them, it can be easier to talk to them, and they will probably open up to you too, so don't be afraid to ask them for help or to talk. Your friends are supposed to be there for you, and act as a network to help you, and if they don’t do that then they probably aren’t the best for you. 

Getting to know people can be daunting, but there are common questions you can ask that can help you. Ask them if they have pets, about schoolwork, favorite plants or characters. It doesn’t have to be the elementary, “Hi my name is ------ do you want to be friends?” It can be gradual, and a way I have found that helps friendships is to get their number if you can, or some way to talk to them often. This will help you get to know each other better and get more comfortable talking with one another. 

Also, talking to people doesn’t have to be awkward unless someone makes it that way. A lot of people tend to be casual when they talk to others, anxious at most. When you talk to someone else for the first time, it might be uncomfortable, but treat it like they are already your friend, not a stranger. This will make it more welcoming, and if they don’t want to talk to you for some reason it’s ok, because you’ll find other people, there are plenty of good people in our school and in general that would be good friends. 

Person 3:

Sometimes, it’s hard to connect with people in person, especially since everyone grew accustomed to speaking online with each other over the pandemic. However, putting yourself in a position where you can meet people with similar interests can make it easier to make conversation with others and eventually make friends. Even though it might be intimidating, joining a club, group, or even just taking an elective class in something you’re interested in can be a good way to meet like-minded people. Also, keep in mind that making friends takes time, and practice. Usually, having easy conversations with people isn’t something that comes immediately after meeting them. If you feel you are truly interested in making friends with a person, make sure to be persistent in speaking with them; don’t expect them to make the first move when it comes to conversation or forging a friendship. Just because someone doesn’t speak to you first doesn’t mean that they don’t like you or that they don’t want to be friends. The most important thing to remember is that making friends is a process that involves trial and error. You might not succeed on the first try—and that’s perfectly alright. In the meantime, any conversation with people is good conversation; don’t discount the time you spend talking to the adults in your life.

Person 1:

Figuring out what works best for you personally is a matter of trial and error. I’m still trying to find a method I like that works for me. Some things I have tried that might work for you are: writing the homework on your phone, using sticky notes to write the homework on, sending yourself an email or text message with the homework, making an alarm to remind yourself what you need to do. You could even try doing a combination of some of these things. But in the end, it really is all about finding what works for you because everyone is different so what works for someone else might not work for you. Good luck, hope my suggestions help!

Person 2: 

Write on your arm, but stay away from toxic inks. 

Person 1: First off, as a member of the LGBTQ community it is important to find others that are in it, whether as allies or not. If someone isn’t going to be supportive of you then maybe they are not a good person for you. Now, if someone simply never knew about the community then give them time to process, it’s better to give everyone a chance to settle in with the news, but some need it where others don’t. Baseline is if you aren’t feeling supported go find members of the community, we have a pride club for this reason. Now as a furry, you are most likely to always get looks for it, it’s a very touchy subject. But ultimately you are your own person, embrace it. You will find people who accept you for who you are, and those are your people. You will find them I promise, even if it’s a few years down the line. Don’t let others drag you down in their beliefs.

Person 2: The biggest piece of advice I can offer is: try to surround yourself with people who do make you feel supported. Find your people, while this may not happen immediately, give it time, keep trying, and you will find them in time.

Person 1: For sciences, our school offers many different classes that include environmental studies, geography, and social sciences. If you are a junior, I recommend exploring some of the other classes offered, but remember you have the opportunity to not take one at all. If you are a freshman or sophomore, although you need to take a physical science and biology class, you can break them up and take them other years. If you are interested in Psychology, but worried you might not be able to take on that workload, just remember that there are always ways to succeed, and teachers will help you reach your goals the best they can. If you have a genuine interest in this class, just know that high school is short and if you never try, you will never know!

Person 1: For sciences, our school offers many different classes that include environmental studies, geography, and social sciences. If you are a junior, I recommend exploring some of the other classes offered, but remember you have the opportunity to not take one at all. If you are a freshman or sophomore, although you need to take a physical science and biology class, you can break them up and take them other years. If you are interested in Psychology, but worried you might not be able to take on that workload, just remember that there are always ways to succeed, and teachers will help you reach your goals the best they can. If you have a genuine interest in this class, just know that high school is short and if you never try, you will never know!