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The difference between Sexuality and Gender Identity:
Gender Identity
Gender Identity
One's Gender Identity refers to how they see themselves and what they would like to be called. Someone's Gender Identity could differ from their birth sex.
Sexuality
Sexuality
One's Sexuality refers to who they are attracted to.
There are multiple different types of sexualities and orientations. Here are some of the most common:
The LGBTA Wiki provides further reading on this.
Sexual vs. Romantic Orientations
Sexual attraction is the tendency to feel sexual desire towards another person, while romantic attraction is the desire to be intimate and emotional with someone (ex. crushes). You can feel both of these attractions, only one, or neither.
Every sexual orientation has a romantic counterpart. You can tell the difference by the ending.
-Homosexual, Bisexual, Asexual
-Homoromantic, Biromantic, Aromantic
Your sexual and romantic orientations don't have to line up. For example, a Homosexual could also identify as Biromantic.
There are multiple different types of gender identities. Here are some of the most common:
The LGBTA Wiki provides further reading on this.
Sex ≠ Gender
A common misconception is that someone's sex is the same as their gender. This is not true. Your sex refers to your reproductive anatomy, while your gender refers to your identity. The terms 'Birth Sex' and 'Gender Identity' make it easier to understand these concepts.
Xenogender is an umbrella term for non-binary gender identities that can't be described fully by concepts usually used to describe gender such as masculinity, femininity, or neutrality. Xenogenders can be best described through how they relate to things, beings, or concepts. Examples can include seagender and catgender.
What are neopronouns?
Neopronouns are any set of singular third-person pronouns that are not officially recognized in the language they are used in, usually created with the intent to be a gender-neutral pronoun set.
Some neopronouns also use existing words, such as rai/rain/rainself or cor/corpse/corpseself. They could be aligned with xenogenders, or they could not.
You can even make up your own neopronouns if there aren't existing ones that fit you well enough.
How do I use them?
You use neopronouns as you would the pronouns you learn in school like she/her, he/him, and they/them.
Example:
She's going to the park, she told me herself.
Xe's going to the park, xe told me xemself.
Alternating Pronouns?
Alternating Pronouns?
People may use alternating pronouns in some cases. They are a set of pronouns that someone may want to switch between, either in every sentence or overall. They can include officially recognized pronouns, neopronouns, or a mix between them.
Set Example:
he/she/they
di/ae/mist
Sentence Example:
One's going to the park, it told me eirself.
Droid's going to the park, dre told me droidself. He will be back home in 1 hour.
Set Example:
she/they/he (Speaker 1)
fluff/hug/plush (Speaker 2)
Mirror Pronouns (Person 1)
Sentence Example:
Speaker 1: She's going to the park, she told me himself.
Speaker 2: Hug's going to the park, fluff told me plushself. Fluff will be back home in 1 hour.
Person 1: Eee!!!!!!!
Mirror Pronouns?
Mirror Pronouns?
Some people use mirror pronouns, which means they mirror the pronouns that the speaker uses. If there are 2 people who just use mirror pronouns, they may either not use pronouns, use another interlocutors pronouns, but, if a interlocutor uses other pronouns, both of them use those pronouns.
Pronouns ≠ Gender!
Pronouns ≠ Gender!
The pronouns someone uses does not always indicate their gender. A person could identify as a girl but use he/him or they/them. A non-binary person could use he/him instead of they/them or neopronouns.
History and Symbolism!
Deadnaming.
Deadnaming.
What is it?
What is it?
Deadnaming is the use of a birth or former name (a dead name) towards a transgender or non-binary person without their consent. Using someone's deadname is harmful as it could be seen as you not acknowledging their transition. Please show that you are trying your best to not deadname someone, and apologize if you do so.
How to apologize for deadnaming or using incorrect pronouns:
Say you're sorry.
Correct yourself.
Move on. Don't make the person continue to feel uncomfortable with your mistake.
Practice.
Deadnaming is harmful, and so is using incorrect pronouns! If you do not know someone's pronouns and don't think it's the right time to ask, you can refer to them as they/them for the time being, but switch to their preferred pronouns after you learn them.
Not everyone likes they/them!
Not everyone likes they/them!
While it is respectful to refer to someone by using they/them pronouns if you don't know their preferred pronouns, not everyone will like using them. Some neopronoun users, and even people who use she/her or he/him might feel dysphoric when referred to as they/them. That is why you stick to someone's preferred pronouns after you learn them. If someone is okay with using they/them, then it is fine to continue referring towards them with that pronoun set.
Gender Dysphoria and Euphoria
Gender Dysphoria is the discomfort or distress someone has when their gender identity differs from their birth-sex or sex-related physical characteristics.
Transgender and gender-nonconforming people might experience gender dysphoria, but others may be comfortable with their body with or without medical intervention.
Gender Euphoria is the opposite of Gender Dysphoria. It is the happiness felt when someone is referred to as their true gender, their gender identity.
Some people check for Gender Euphoria to help figure out their gender identity, checking if identifying themselves as something makes them euphoric. This is mostly because Gender Dysphoria is hard to recognize in some situations.
Different Types of Attraction
Sexual attraction is attraction based off of sexual desire.
Romantic attraction is the desire to have romantic interactions with another party.
Platonic attraction describes the desire to form a close platonic relationship (friendship) with someone, or a closer friendship with someone a person already knows.
Alterous attraction describes a desire for a type of emotional relationship or closeness that isn't accurately described as "romantic" or "platonic".
Sensual attraction is a type of physical attraction towards another person that involves a sense of touch that is not explicitly sexual (ex. cuddling, kissing, massage). Sensual attraction could also involve attraction to voices.
Aesthetic attraction occurs when someone appreciates the appearance or beauty of another person; separate from romantic and sexual attraction.
Intellectual or Mental attraction is attraction based off of wanting to form an intellectual bond with someone. This bond is related to an exchange of wisdom, knowledge, or interests.
Emotional attraction is an umbrella term that includes many forms of attraction that exist on an emotional level, as opposed to physical attractions such as sexual, sensual, or aesthetic attraction.
Polyamory is the capability or desire to be in a relationship with more than one person at once. It can describe a relationship with more than two people and also the desire to have such a relationship. Polyamorous relationships can be romantic, sexual, or both.
Polyamory is absolutely not an excuse for cheating.
A polyamorous relationship requires awareness and consent from all parties involved.
Polyamory ≠ Polygamy
Polygamy is the act of marrying multiple people, which is illegal in the U.S. and many other countries. Polyamory can involve marriage, such as a married couple who have multiple partners outside of the marriage.
Being Polyamorous is completely valid!
Queerplatonic is the relationship between 2 or more people who are blurring the lines between romantic and platonic. An example is two (or more) sharing a bank account, raising a child together, or marrying each other without romantic interest. Or even doing things typically reserved for romantic couples without any romance involved.
Queerplatonic Partners are called zucchinis!
This originally started as a joke in the asexual and aromantic community. It's not a joke anymore. Another cool thing is that Queerplatonic crushes are called squishes!
Queerplatonic relationships can be polyamorus too
How crazy! You can have a queerplatonic partners! There is no formal name for it, however, most people just say a Poly-QP.
Being in a QP relationship is VERY valid!
Intersex is an umbrella term for those with a difference in sex traits or reproductive anatomy. Intersex people are individuals born with bodies that "do not fit the typical definitions for male or female bodies." These can include several variations in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, or genitals.
Wanna know more?
Wanna know more?
Join Calliasin a LGBTQ Awareness series, "A Day In the Gay's." His plans are in her Google Doc linked on their name! He hopes that he can make you more aware of LGBTQ+ struggles, and culture! An episode is posted every "few" weeks!
Gender Identities
Romantic attraction vs. Physical attraction
Coming out and what to do
Bi vs. Pan What's the difference?
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