Question 2: How does the writer’s use of language…? [8 marks] 10 minutes

IMAGERY

For question 2 and 4, the examiners want to see that you can identify specific words and phrases used by the writer and explain the effect. You could try to identify similes, metaphors, personification and other language devices. But if you struggle to spot those, you can always write about imagery. There are always examples of imagery in writing. All you need to ask yourself is, what is the image of?

Imagery is a writer’s use of descriptive language that creates strong and powerful pictures in our minds to help us imagine more clearly what they are describing

Non examples, turned into good examples:

(a) The streets smelled.

This sentence does not contain imagery. There is no descriptive language that helps us imagine the street and what it smelled like.

The streets stank of pungent manure.

This sentence does contain imagery. There is more descriptive language in this sentence, which helps the reader to imagine that the streets smell of animal waste.

(b)The sun was shining on the trees.

This sentence does not contain imagery. There is no descriptive language that helps us imagine what the sun looked like as it shone through the trees.

The golden yellow sunlight filtered down through the pale new leaves on the oak trees.

This sentence does contain imagery. There is more descriptive language in the sentence, which helps the reader to imagine that the sun is very bright and that shards of bright light are poking through the branches in the trees and casting light on the leaves.

(c) The puppy was happy to see me.

This sentence does not contain imagery. There is no descriptive language that helps us to imagine this moment.

The little puppy accosted me as he slobbered my face with his wet and eager tongue.

This sentence does contain imagery. There is more descriptive language in the sentence, which helps the reader to imagine that the puppy leaps onto the person and covers the person with its wet saliva.

The best way to get used to writing about imagery, is to do lots of practice. Here are lots of practice tasks designed to help you practise writing about imagery.

Task 1: Circle the numbers of the sentences that contain imagery.

1. A handsome manor house grew out of the darkness at the end of the straight drive.
2. They could see the house in front of them.
3. They walked closer towards the house, wanting to get a better look at it.
4. Lights glinted in the diamond-paned windows.
5. The hallway was large, dimly lit, and sumptuously decorated.
6. They entered the hallway, not knowing what they would find.
7. There was a carpet in the hallway and they walked over it.
8. There was a magnificent patterned carpet covering most of the stone floor.
9. I entered the room not knowing what I would find.
10. Illumination came from a roaring fire.

Task 2: Circle the numbers of the sentences that contain imagery.

1. I felt a bit uncomfortable when I looked at his face.
2. His face shone through the gloom, hairless and snakelike.
3. He walked towards me and started to speak.
4. He had slits for nostrils and gleaming red eyes.
5. He opened his eyes to look at me when he heard me speak.
6. I knew that the boy was feeling distressed.
7. He was so pale that he seemed to emit a pearly glow.
8. When she spoke to me, I struggled to hear what she was saying.
9. The man had a long, twisted face
10. The boy let out a terrible, drawn-out cry of misery and pain

Task 3: Circle the numbers of the sentences that contain imagery.

1. His skin was yellowish and waxy in the firelight.
2. He mentioned to me that he needed to see a doctor.
3. He spoke to me and I listened carefully.
4. His eyes were sunken and shadowed.
5. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse.
6. The soft voice seemed to hiss on even after the cruel mouth had stopped moving.
7. He kept talking to me even though I wasn’t really listening.
8. The snake had a neck the thickness of a man’s thigh.
9. There was a snake on the ground.
10. The snake’s eyes, with their vertical slits for pupils, were unblinking

Task 4: In each sentence, underline the words that create imagery, helping the reader to understand more about what is being described.

1. A handsome manor house grew out of the darkness at the end of the straight drive.
2. Lights glinted in the diamond-paned windows.
3. The hallway was large, dimly lit, and sumptuously decorated.
4. There was a magnificent patterned carpet covering most of the stone floor.
5. Illumination came from a roaring fire.

Task 5: In each sentence, underline the words that create imagery, helping the reader to understand more about what is being described.

1. His face shone through the gloom, hairless and snakelike.
2. He had slits for nostrils and gleaming red eyes.
3. He was so pale that he seemed to emit a pearly glow.
4. The man had a long, twisted face
5. The boy let out a terrible, drawn-out cry of misery and pain

Task 6: In each sentence, underline the words that create imagery, helping the reader to understand more about what is being described.

1. His skin was yellowish and waxy in the firelight.
2. His eyes were sunken and shadowed.
3. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse.
4. The soft voice seemed to hiss on even after the cruel mouth had stopped moving.
5. The snake had a neck the thickness of a man’s thigh.
6. The snake’s eyes, with their vertical slits for pupils, were unblinking

Task 11: for each example of imagery, write one sentence explaining what the imagery is of. Always start your sentence with the words: This creates imagery of...

The snake had a neck the thickness of a man’s thigh.

This creates imagery of a snake with a very thick neck, which is as thick as the thigh of a grown man.

1. The snake’s eyes, with their vertical slits for pupils, were unblinking

This creates imagery of…

1. Lights glinted in the diamond-paned windows.

This creates imagery of…

1. His face shone through the gloom, hairless and snakelike.

This creates imagery of…

Task 12: for each example of imagery, write one sentence explaining what the imagery is of. Always start your sentence with the words: This creates imagery of… OR The imagery helps us imagine...

His face shone through the gloom, hairless and snakelike.

This creates imagery of a man’s face showing clearly in spite of the gloomy light. The imagery helps us imagine that the man is bald and that his face has two very small eyes, like a snake. The imagery makes the man seen evil.

Notice in this example that I have written multiple sentences to try and be as detailed as I can when writing about imagery.

1. The soft voice seemed to hiss on even after the cruel mouth had stopped moving.

This creates imagery of...

1. He had slits for nostrils and gleaming red eyes.

This creates imagery of...

1. He was so pale that he seemed to emit a pearly glow.

This creates imagery of…

Sensory Imagery

Sensory imagery is a writer’s use of descriptive language to help us imagine sight, sound, smell, taste and touch.

Task 1: In each sentence, underline the examples of sensory imagery and write the word ‘sight’, ‘sound’, ‘smell’, ‘touch’ or ‘taste’ depending on what the words are helping us to imagine.

1. I could hear the popping and crackling as mum dropped the bacon into the frying pan.
2. Soon the salty, greasy aroma wafted toward me.
3. She ran her hand across the dark, concrete wall, which was as cold as ice.
4. When she came to the middle of the room, she felt a thick, slimy substance actively oozing down the wall.
5. Her nostrils were invaded by a thick stench of damp water.

Task 2: In each sentence, underline the examples of sensory imagery and write the word ‘sight’, ‘sound’, ‘smell’, ‘touch’ or ‘taste’ depending on what the words are helping us to imagine.

1. The streets stank of manure, the courtyards of urine, the stairwells stank of moldering wood and rat droppings.
2. The children were screaming and shouting in the fields.
3. It was dark and dim in the forest, as the sun hid behind the thick leaves on the trees.
4. The little puppy accosted me as he slobbered my face with his wet and eager tongue.
5. Buckets of bright yellow tulips gleamed in the sunlight.

Task 3: In each sentence, underline the examples of sensory imagery and write the word ‘sight’, ‘sound’, ‘smell’, ‘touch’ or ‘taste’ depending on what the words are helping us to imagine.

1. He whiffed the delicious aroma of freshly brewed coffee.
2. The fresh and juicy orange is very cold and sweet.
3. The girl ran her hands on a soft satin fabric.
4. Glittering white, the blanket of snow covered everything in sight.
5. The golden yellow sunlight filtered down through the pale new leaves on the oak trees.

Task 4: In each sentence, underline the examples of sensory imagery and write the word ‘sight’, ‘sound’, ‘smell’, ‘touch’ or ‘taste’ depending on what the words are helping us to imagine.

1. From their mouths came the stench of rotting teeth.
2. As I tumbled down the hill, the loose rocks raced alongside me, pricking my hands and face like a hundred tiny knives.
3. He picked up the ice cold fountain pen, the cool metal barrel resting against the side of his index finger.
4. He inhaled the scent of fresh paper.
5. The fresh orange juice felt bitter against my tongue.

Task 11: for each example of imagery, write one sentence explaining what the imagery is of. Always start your sentence with the words: This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

Buckets of bright yellow tulips gleamed in the sunlight.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine the beautiful sight of the sunlight shining upon, and reflecting from, bunches of bright yellow flowers.

1. Her nostrils were invaded by a thick stench of damp water.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

1. The girl ran her hands on a soft satin fabric.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

1. He whiffed the delicious aroma of freshly brewed coffee.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

Task 12: for each example of imagery, write one sentence explaining what the imagery is of. Always start your sentence with the words: This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

Buckets of bright yellow tulips gleamed in the sunlight.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine the beautiful sight of the sunlight shining upon, and reflecting from, bunches of bright yellow flowers.

1. From their mouths came the stench of rotting teeth.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

1. As I tumbled down the hill, the loose rocks raced alongside me, pricking my hands and face like a hundred tiny knives.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

1. He picked up the ice cold fountain pen, the cool metal barrel resting against the side of his index finger.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

Task 13: for each example of imagery, write one sentence explaining what the imagery is of. Always start your sentence with the words: This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

Buckets of bright yellow tulips gleamed in the sunlight.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine the beautiful sight of the sunlight shining upon, and reflecting from, bunches of bright yellow flowers.

1. I could hear the popping and crackling as mum dropped the bacon into the frying pan.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

1. Soon the salty, greasy aroma wafted toward me.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

1. She ran her hand across the dark, concrete wall, which was as cold as ice.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

Task 14: for each example of imagery, write one sentence explaining what the imagery is of. Always start your sentence with the words: This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

Buckets of bright yellow tulips gleamed in the sunlight.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine the beautiful sight of the sunlight shining upon, and reflecting from, bunches of bright yellow flowers.

1. The streets stank of manure, the courtyards of urine, the stairwells stank of moldering wood and rat droppings.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

1. The children were screaming and shouting in the fields.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

1. It was dark and dim in the forest, as the sun hid behind the thick leaves on the trees.

This sensory imagery helps us to imagine...

ZOOMING IN ON THE WRITER’S WORD CHOICES

When we write about texts, sometimes we want to talk about the big picture. An example of this is when we talk about a theme or what the author was trying to communicate or even what a text means overall.

Sometimes, however, we want to write about the little details. We call this ‘zooming in’. When we zoom in, we focus on things that are much smaller and more specific, such as a word, a phrase, or a technique. This is very useful in the English language paper. If you can’t remember techniques, you can always zoom in on words and phrases. The important thing to remember is that you must explain the effect of a word or phrase.

Task 1: We should only zoom in on interesting words. In each sentence, underline the interesting word that you could zoom in on.

1. I bit into the crunchy toast.
2. The cereal melted in my mouth.
3. The tulips gleamed in the sunlight.
4. The bacon crackled in the frying pan.
5. He picked up the shrivelled crisp packet.
6. The screaming baby sat in its high chair.
7. She cleared her throat nervously.
8. He searched frantically in his bag.
9. Her voice trembled.
10. The teacher looked at me sharply.

Task 6: When zooming in on words, you can always use the phrase ‘This word helps us to imagine…’

Write sentences zooming in on each underlined word. The first has been done for you as an example.

1. I bit into the crunchy toast.

The word ‘crunchy’ helps us to imagine that the toast is a bit burned, or at least well cooked, and makes a crunchy sound when it’s bitten into.

1. The cereal melted in my mouth.

The word ‘_____’ helps us to imagine...

1. The tulips gleamed in the sunlight.
2. The bacon crackled in the frying pan.
3. He picked up the shrivelled crisp packet.
4. The screaming baby sat in its high chair.
5. She cleared her throat nervously.
6. He searched frantically in his bag.
7. Her voice trembled.
8. The teacher looked at me sharply.

Task 7: When zooming in on words, you can always use the phrase ‘This word helps us to imagine…’

Write sentences zooming in on each underlined word. The first has been done for you as an example.

1. I bit into the crunchy toast.

The word ‘crunchy’ helps us to imagine that the toast is a bit burned, or at least well cooked, and makes a crunchy sound when it’s bitten into.

1. There was a roaring fire.
2. It filled the whole damp hut with flickering light.
3. The giant sat back down on the sofa, which sagged under his weight.
4. Soon the hearth was full of the sound and smell of sizzling sausage.
5. He slid the first six, fat, slightly burnt sausages off the poker.
6. It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles.
7. The candles were floating in midair over four long tables.
8. Hundreds of faces were staring at them.

Smoke from the engine drifted over the heads of the chattering crowd.

PUTTING IMAGERY AND ZOOMING TOGETHER

Examiners say that many students write very general comments about language that don’t pick up any marks. Here are some examples:

• This creates imagery.
• This creates pictures in the reader’s mind.
• This word is very interesting for the reader.
• This word stands out

None of these are good examples of comments about language. They are too general. In previous tasks, you have practised writing much more specific and detailed comments about imagery and word choice. We are going to try and put those two ideas together now.

1A. ‘towered thirty feet above half of the trees’

Here is a sentence about this quotation, which is not very good.

This quotation creates imagery of a large dinosaur.

This sentence is not very good because it’s a very general comment, which doesn’t explain in specific terms what the image is of.

Here is a sentence about this quotation, which is very good.

This quotation creates imagery of a dinosaur looming high above the tops of the trees, which emphasises the enormous size of the dinosaur and how tiny the men feel in comparison. The word ‘towered’ implies that the dinosaur soars high above the tops of the trees, and is looking down on the trees and the men threateningly.

This sentence is much better because it explains specifically what the image is of, and what the effect of this image is. It also zooms in on a specific word from the quotation, explaining the effect of the word.

You’re going to try planning and writing detailed sentences about the other quotations. In the first two examples, the ideas have been given to you, which you need to write up into sentences. In the remaining examples, you need to come up with the ideas too.

To help you write in detail, always try to say three things about a quotation.

1B. ‘a fence of teeth like daggers’

1. Creates imagery of a mouth full of large and sharp teeth, grinning threateningly at the men.
2. ‘daggers’ = implies teeth are extremely sharp and could kill the men if it were to bite into their skin.
3. ‘fence’ = implies that the teeth are huge and that there are large number of them, stacked next to each other.

Using these ideas, write your sentences.

1C. ‘hands which might pick up and examine men like toys’

1. creates imagery of the dinosour’s large, and mighty claws clutching the tiny men.
2. ‘toys’ = emphasises the size of the dinosaur. It’s hands are so huge that the men look like tiny toys when it picks them up.
3. ‘toys’ = also suggests that the dinosaur could easily break the men in two, like someone could easily break a small toy

Using these ideas, write your sentences.

1D. ‘oily, reptilian chest’ (hint: when zooming in on the words oily and reptilian, ask yourself: what is the writer trying to show about how the dinosaur’s skin would feel?’

1. Creates imagery of ___________________________________________________________
2. ‘oily’ = __________________________________________________________________
3. ‘reptilian’ = ________________________________________________________________

Write your ideas above and then write your sentences.

1E. ‘great, oiled, resilient, striding legs’

resilient means strong and not easily damaged.

striding means walking with long and wide steps.

1. Creates imagery of ___________________________________________________________
2. ‘great’ = __________________________________________________________________
3. ‘oiled’ = __________________________________________________________________
4. ‘Resilient’ =__________________________________________________________________
5. ‘striding’ = __________________________________________________________________

Write your ideas above and then write your sentences.

1F. ‘thick ropes of muscle’

1. Creates imagery of ___________________________________________________________
2. ‘thick ropes’ = __________________________________________________________________
3. ‘Muscle’ = __________________________________________________________________

Write your ideas above and then write your sentences.

1G. ‘pebbled skin like the armour of a terrible warrior’

1. Creates imagery of ___________________________________________________________
2. ‘pebbled’’ = __________________________________________________________________
3. ‘armour’’ = __________________________________________________________________
4. ‘warrior’’ = __________________________________________________________________

Write your ideas above and then write your sentences.

A STEP-BY-STEP APPROACH TO TACKLING QUESTION 2

Now that you have practised writing sentences about imagery and word choice, you are going to have a go at a practice question, following this step-by-step approach.

Practice One

Here is an example question from an AQA exam paper.

Mr Fisher remembered a time - surely, not so long ago - when books were golden, when imaginations soared, when the world was filled with stories which ran like gazelles and pounced like tigers and exploded like rockets, illuminating minds and hearts. He had seen it happen; had seen whole alasses swept away in the fever, In those days, there were heroes; there were dragons and dinosaurs; there were space adventurers and soldiers of fortune and great apes. In those days, thought Mr Fisher, we dreamed in colour, though films were in black and white, and good always triumphed in the end.

How does the writer use language to convey Mr Fisher’s views on books and stories from the past?

You could write about:

• words and phrases
• language features and techniques
• sentence forms

[8 marks]

Step-by-step guidance:

Step 1: Underline key words in the question.

How does the writer use language to convey Mr Fisher’s views on books and stories from the past?

• words and phrases
• language features and techniques
• sentence forms - avoid writing about sentence forms. It is very tricky and students very rarely write good, insightful comments about sentence structure

Step 2: Reread the extract and underline three short quotations that you understand. Don’t underline anything you don’t understand as you won’t be able to write confidently about it!

Mr Fisher remembered a time - surely, not so long ago - when books were golden, when imaginations soared, when the world was filled with stories which ran like gazelles and pounced like tigers and exploded like rockets, illuminating minds and hearts. He had seen it happen; had seen whole alasses swept away in the fever, In those days, there were heroes; there were dragons and dinosaurs; there were space adventurers and soldiers of fortune and great apes. In those days, thought Mr Fisher, we dreamed in colour, though films were in black and white, and good always triumphed in the end.

Step 3: Ask yourself - what is clear from the extract?

It would not be correct to say that Mr Fisher thinks stories from the past were boring.

It would not be correct to say that Mr Fisher thinks stories from the past were silly.

It would not be correct to say that Mr Fisher doesn’t like stories from the past.

Which statements are correct? Circle or underline them.

• Mr Fisher thinks stories from the past were boring.
• Mr Fisher thinks stories from the past were exciting.
• Mr Fisher thinks stories from the past were valuable.
• Mr Fisher thinks stories from the past were full of action.
• Mr Fisher thinks stories from the past were silly.
• Mr Fisher doesn’t like stories from the past.

Step 4: Write your first topic sentence, using one of your ideas about what is clear.

For example:

The writer makes clear Mr Fisher thinks stories from the past were exciting.

Write your topic sentence on lined paper/your exercise book.

Step 5: Choose a quotation that proves your topic sentence.

Which quotation best proves this topic sentence?

The writer makes clear Mr Fisher thinks stories from the past were exciting.

Circle or underline it.

• ‘books were golden’
• ‘dragons and dinosaurs; there were space adventurers ‘
• ‘good always triumphed in the end’

You should have selected the second quotation.

This best proves the topic sentence that stories from the past were exciting because the writer lists exciting things, like dragons and dinosaurs, that the stories were about.

Step 6: write up your topic sentence and your quotation. Remember what you have practised in terms of writing about imagery and word choice. Here is an example.

The writer makes clear Mr Fisher thinks stories from the past were exciting. He does this by listing things that were in the stories, such as ‘dragons and dinosaurs’ and ‘space adventurers’. The imagery in these words helps the reader to imagine fantasy storylines in which the characters went on exciting expeditions and met fantastical creatures. The writer’s use of the word ‘adventurers’ helps us to imagine that Mr Fisher felt like he was also going on adventure with the characters when he read these stories.

Try following these steps yourself and having a go at your own answer.

Notice in this answer that I have tried to write about the imagery and zoom in on a word.

Practice Two

Here is another example question.

In this extract, Harry Potter is playing a game of quidditch on his broomstick. He suddenly realises that he is losing control of the broomstick.

It was as Harry dodged another bludger spinning dangerously past his head that it happened. His broom gave a sudden, frightening lurch. He thought he was going to stop. He gripped the broom tightly with both his hands and knees. He never felt anything like that. It happened again. It was as though the broom was trying to buck him off, but the Nimbus Two Thousands did not suddenly decide to buck their riders off. Harry tried to turn back towards the Gryffindor goal posts; he had half a mind to ask Wood to call timeout - and then realised his broom was completely out of his control. He couldn't turn it. He couldn't direct it at all. It was zigzagging through the air and every now and then making violent swishing movements which almost unseated him.

How does the writer use language to describe Harry losing control?

You could write about:

• words and phrases
• language features and techniques
• sentence forms

[8 marks]

Question 3: How does the writer’s use of structure…? [8 marks] 10 minutes

This question is about where things are happening and why. You need to think about the order things take place within the extract and why this is important. A writer is like a film camera, zooming in on certain things in order to focus our attention on something specific. The way to approach this question is to ask yourself about what the writer focuses on in.

1. The opening
2. The middle
3. The ending

Before we look at how to do that, we will look at one specific technique writers use - suspense.

Suspense

Suspense is when the writer sets up a question that the reader wants answers to and delays this answer, keeping us guessing.

For example:

• What’s inside the haunted mansion?
• Which of the dinner guests is the murderer?
• Will the hero save the day?
• Will the couple get together in the end?
• What is the dark secret that the main character is keeping?

Writers create suspense in a number of ways. For example:

1. They choose one of the characters as a limited narrator, who starts off knowing as little as the audience does. As they find out more, so do we. Example: RL Stevenson ‘The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde’. Utterson is chosen as the narrator, so the reader must wait until Utterson finds out the truth before we can learn it ourselves.
2. They choose a mysterious setting or imagery, for example old mansions, secret pathways/passage ways, which suggest things are being hidden. They might use fog and storms to stop the characters from seeing properly, which adds to the mystery. Example: RL Stevenson ‘The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde’. Stevenson chooses for the characters to be out at night time or in foggy weather conditions, meaning they can see less clearly, which makes them, and the reader, feel uneasy.
3. They make ordinary objects sound sinister to create a dark mood. For example, describing red flowers as ‘blood red’. The word ‘blood’ sounds sinister and may think that one of the characters is in danger.
4. They use dramatic irony to reveal big parts of the secret to the audience but not the characters. Part of the excitement comes from wondering when the characters will learn the truth and how. Example: In Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare reveals right from the prologue that both characters will die. The audience feels nervous and excited as the play continues and we wait to find our when and how Romeo and Juliet will die.

They use a cliffhanger. This is where a chapter or end of the text cuts off before something important has been revealed or in the middle of a very dangerous situation. Waiting to find out what happens makes us imagine possibilities about what could happen next, which builds extra suspense.

Task 1: circle the numbers of the sentences you think create suspense.

1. Suddenly he broke into a series of loud barks, which woke the girls in a panic.

‘Timmy! What’s the matter? Oh Tim! What is it?’ George asked. She clutched his leather collar. ‘Don’t leave us Timmy! What has scared you?’

1. ‘He’s got a one-eyed dog called Jet,’ said George, and Timmy barked as he heard the name.

‘You like Jet, don’t you, Tim?’

‘This all sounds interesting,’ said John. ‘Pass me the bag of tomatoes, Julian, before you eat the lot.’

1. ‘Those men last night! They came into the garden and lifted this big stone. Why?’

‘We’ll soon find out,’ said Julian. ‘Come on everyone. Loosen it with your fingers and we will heave it up!’

1. The little spring was a lovely one. It had obviously been used by the people who had once lived in the old cottage, and was built round with big white stones, so that the spring ran through a little stony channel, as clear as crystal.

Task 2: In each example of suspense, write afterwards what question you have that has remained unanswered. Start your sentence with the words ‘The reader wants to know…’

1. ‘Hope you have - er - a good holiday,’ said Hermione, looking uncertainly after Uncle Vernon, shocked that anyone could be so unpleasant.

‘Oh, I will,’ said Harry, and they were surprised at the grin that was spreading over his face. ‘They don’t know we’re not allowed to use magic at home. I’m going to have a lot of fun this summer…’

The reader wants to know what tricks Harry will play on his family and how they will respond.

1. ‘Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.’

The reader wants to know...

1. ‘Footsteps came up the path.

‘Police!’ she shouted. ‘Run!’

The reader wants to know...

1. ‘What a peaceful night,’ said Anne, looking out of her window. ‘Well - sleep tight everyone. I don’t expect any of us will open an eye until late tomorrow morning. I know I shan’t!’

But she did. She opened her eyes very wide indeed in the middle of the night.

The reader wants to know...

1. ‘It was a damp, white mist. It was very different from the yellow fog of London. The mist moved about in front of my eyes. Soon my hair and clothes were wet. Now I saw only a short way in front of me. I looked back. I was not able to see Eel Marsh House. It had completely disappeared in the mist.’

The reader wants to know...

1. ‘Sometime later, I woke up. The moonlight was shining into the room. Why was I awake? What had happened? I sat up.’

The reader wants to know...

Task 3. Each of these examples is from a famous ghost story called ‘The Woman in Black. In each example of suspense, write afterwards what question you have that has remained unanswered. Start your sentence with the words ‘The reader wants to know…’

1. ‘Hope you have - er - a good holiday,’ said Hermione, looking uncertainly after Uncle Vernon, shocked that anyone could be so unpleasant.

‘Oh, I will,’ said Harry, and they were surprised at the grin that was spreading over his face. ‘They don’t know we’re not allowed to use magic at home. I’m going to have a lot of fun this summer…’

The reader wants to know what tricks Harry will play on his family and how they will respond.

1. The frightened little dog pressed against my legs. We were both shaking with fear. And still the sound went on. Bump. Bump. Bump.
2. After a time, I went back to the closed door. I turned the handle. The door did not open. I pushed my shoulder against the door. It did not move. There was no keyhole in the door. I could not see into the room.
3. At that moment, Spider growled. The little dog was standing at the door. Every hair on her body was stiff with fear. I sat there for a few moments, frozen with fright. Then I stood up. If this was a ghost, I must face it.
4. After a few moments, the dog jumped out of my arms. She ran upstairs, towards the locked door. I hurried outside, picked up the axe and torch and followed her.
5. I stood there in the darkness. I could not move. Who had gone by? Who was in the house with me? I had seen and heard nothing. But I was sure of one thing. Someone had gone along the passage to the child's bedroom. Someone dead for many years - a ghost.

Task 6: writing about suspense.

For each example, write a sentence explaining how suspense is created. Copy and complete the sentence so that you are always writing in full sentences. The first has been done for you as an example.

1. A writer ends the chapter just as the characters are about to open the door to a room where mysterious noises have been coming from.

This creates suspense because the reader wants to know what is behind the door that has been causing the mysterious noises.

1. In the next chapter, the writer chooses for one character, but not the main character who is narrating the novel, to be the first person to see what is inside the room.

This creates suspense because the reader wants to know...

1. A young girl is kidnapped. When she realised what was happening, she called 999 and started to talk to the police, but the kidnapper snatched her phone away from her.

This creates suspense because the reader wants to know…

1. The main character reveals at the end of the chapter that he has a big secret. In the next chapter, the writer changes the subject and writes about a different character.

This creates suspense because the reader wants to know…

1. A writer opens a short story with the words, ‘I would always look back on this as a life-changing moment.’

This creates suspense because the reader wants to know...

Question 4: To what extent do you agree with xxxxxx? [20 marks]

Question 4 will direct you to a specific part of the text and be given an opinion about this part of the text. You need to argue how much you agree or disagree with that opinion. In your answer you need to:

• write your own views on the opinion you’ve been given
• write about how the writer has given you this view. What quotations make you think this? Word specific word choices or imagery make you think this?

To practise this question, we’re going to break it down into smaller sections to practise, before building up to example questions.

Task 1: Here is a short extract, taken from ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ by JK Rowling. In this extract, Harry Potter has just arrived at the great hall. It is the first time he has been there.

Harry had never such a strange and splendid place. It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles which were floating in midair over four long tables, where the rest of the students were sitting. These tables were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting. The hundreds of faces staring at them looked like pale lanterns in the flickering candlelight. Here and there among the students, the ghosts shone misty silver. To avoid all the staring eyes, Harry looked upwards and saw a velvety black ceiling with stars.

A student said, about this extract: ‘This part of the story, set in the great hall, is magical.

1A: The most important word in the statement above is underlined: ‘magical’. You need to find four quotations from this short extract that prove this moment in the great hall is magical.

Here is a bad example:

‘Strange’ (line 1)

This is not a good example because it does not prove that the great hall is magical.

Here is a good example:

‘thousands and thousands of candles’ (line 1)

This is a good example because the imagery helps the reader to imagine that the whole hall is covered with candles and that the whole hall is lit by candlelight. This image feels quite magical.

Reread the short extract. Underline four quotations that make the hall feel magical.

Harry had never such a strange and splendid place. It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles which were floating in midair over four long tables, where the rest of the students were sitting. These tables were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting. The hundreds of faces staring at them looked like pale lanterns in the flickering candlelight. Here and there among the students, the ghosts shone misty silver. To avoid all the staring eyes, Harry looked upwards and saw a velvety black ceiling with stars.

1C: Using your ideas from the planning table, write sentences explaining how Rowling creates a magical feel. Use this planning structure to help you.

Here is an example. It has been colour coded to help you see how the planned ideas go into the sentences.

She makes clear the hall is magical.

When? line 1

Who? Rowling

How? ‘Thousands and thousands of candles:

(1) Imagery helps the reader to imagine that whole hall is lit by candlelight

(2) ‘thousands’ = emphasises how many candles

(3) repetition of ‘thousands’ = implies that every surface is covered with them, giving the hall a magical feel

Expanded sentences: In line 1, Rowling makes clear the hall is magical by writing ‘thousands and thousands of candles’. This imagery helps the reader to imagine that the whole hall is lit by candlelight and that, everywhere Harry looks, he sees candles. Rowling’s use of the word ‘thousands’ emphasises the many candles in the hall. Rowling’s repetition of the word ‘thousands’ implies that every surface is covered with them, which gives the hall a very magical feel.

Your turn:

The writer makes clear the hall is magical.

When? …………………………………………….

Who? Rowling

How? (quotation) …………………………….

1. Imagery helps reader to imagine…………………………………………………………………
2. Writer’s use of word ‘________’ =………………………………………………………………………………
3. Writer’s use of word ‘_________’ = ………………………………………………………………

Expanded sentences (exercise book or lined paper)

The writer makes clear the hall is magical.

When? …………………………………………….

Who? Rowling

How? (quotation) …………………………….

1. Imagery helps reader to imagine…………………………………………………………………
2. Writer’s use of word ‘________’ =………………………………………………………………………………
3. Writer’s use of word ‘_________’ = ………………………………………………………………

Expanded sentences (exercise book or lined paper)

The writer makes clear the hall is magical.

When? …………………………………………….

Who? Rowling

How? (quotation) …………………………….

1. Imagery helps reader to imagine…………………………………………………………………
2. Writer’s use of word ‘________’ =………………………………………………………………………………
3. Writer’s use of word ‘_________’ = ………………………………………………………………

Expanded sentences (exercise book or lined paper)

Your turn:

The writer makes clear the hall is magical.

When? …………………………………………….

Who? Rowling

How? (quotation) …………………………….

1. Imagery helps the reader to imagine…………………………………………………………………
2. Writer’s use of word ‘________’ =………………………………………………………………………………
3. Writer’s use of word ‘_________’ = ………………………………………………………………

Expanded sentences (exercise book or lined paper)

A STEP-BY-STEP APPROACH TO TACKLING QUESTION 4

Now that you have practised writing sentences about suspense and looking for clues in the opening, middle and end of the extract, you are going to have a go at a practice question, following this step-by-step approach.

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Step-by-step guidance:

Practice One

Here is an example question from an AQA exam paper.

:Focus your answer on the second part of the source, from line 25 to the end.

A student said: ‘I think the narrator is right to be frightened. It seems really scary’.

To what extent do you agree?

In your response, you could:

• consider your own impressions of the red room
• evaluate how the writer conveys the red room
• support your response with references to the text.

[20 marks]

Step 1: Underline key words in the question. Make sure you understand where in the source you need to look and the most important word(s) in the statement..

Focus your answer on the second part of the source, from line 25 to the end.

A student said: ‘I think the narrator is right to be frightened. It seems really scary’.

To what extent do you agree? NOTE: we advise you to always AGREE with the statement.

In your response, you could:

• consider your own impressions of the red room
• evaluate how the writer conveys the red room
• support your response with references to the text.

[20 marks]

Step 2: Mark clearly in the extract which bit you need to focus on. You won’t get marks for writing about other parts of the extract.

Step 3: Reread the extract from the part you’ve been told to (in this example it’s line 25).

Underline four quotations that prove the statement that the narrator is right to be frightened because the room is scary.

This extract is taken from the middle of a short story, ‘The Red Room’ by HG Wells. In the story, a man chooses to spend a night in a castle in a room that is supposed to be haunted. He wants to prove that it is not haunted. The people who live in the castle feel nervous for him as they believe that the room is haunted. In this extract, the narrator is inside the room.

Then something happened in the alcove. I did not see the candle go out, I simply turned and saw that the darkness was there, as one might start and see the unexpected presence of a stranger. The black shadow had sprung back to its place. “By Jove,” said I aloud, recovering from my surprise, “that draft’s a strong one;” and taking the matchbox from the table, I walked across the room in a leisurely manner to relight the corner again. My first match would not strike, and as I succeeded with the second, something seemed to blink on the wall before me. I turned my head involuntarily and saw that the two candles on the little table by the fireplace were extinguished. I rose at once to my feet.

“Odd,” I said. “Did I do that myself in a flash of absent-mindedness?”

I walked back, relit one, and as I did so I saw the candle in the right sconce of one of the mirrors wink and go right out, and almost immediately its companion followed it. The flames vanished as if the wick had been suddenly nipped between a finger and thumb, leaving the wick neither glowing nor smoking, but black. While I stood gaping the candle at the foot of the bed went out, and the shadows seemed to take another step toward me.

“This won’t do!” said I, and first one and then another candle on the mantelshelf followed.

“What’s up?” I cried, with a queer high note getting into my voice somehow. At that the candle on the corner of the wardrobe went out, and the one I had relit in the alcove followed.

“Steady on!” I said, “those candles are wanted,” speaking with a half-hysterical facetiousness, and scratching away at a match the while, “for the mantel candlesticks.” My hands trembled so much that twice I missed the rough paper of the matchbox. As the mantel emerged from darkness again, two candles in the remoter end of the room were eclipsed. But with the same match I also relit the larger mirror candles, and those on the floor near the doorway, so that for the moment I seemed to gain on the extinctions. But then in a noiseless volley there vanished four lights at once in different corners of the room, and I struck another match in quivering haste, and stood hesitating whither to take it.

As I stood undecided, an invisible hand seemed to sweep out the two candles on the table. With a cry of terror I dashed at the alcove, then into the corner and then into the window, relighting three as two more vanished by the fireplace, and then, perceiving a better way, I dropped matches on the iron-bound deedbox in the corner, and caught up the bedroom candlestick. With this I avoided the delay of striking matches, but for all that the steady process of extinction went on, and the shadows I feared and fought against returned, and crept in upon me, first a step gained on this side of me, then on that. I was now almost frantic with the horror of the coming darkness, and my self-possession deserted me. I leaped panting from candle to candle in a vain struggle against that remorseless advance.

I bruised myself in the thigh against the table, I sent a chair headlong, I stumbled and fell and whisked the cloth from the table in my fall. My candle rolled away from me and I snatched another as I rose. Abruptly this was blown out as I swung it off the table by the wind of my sudden movement, and immediately the two remaining candles followed. But there was light still in the room, a red light, that streamed across the ceiling and staved off the shadows from me. The fire! Of course I could still thrust my candle between the bars and relight it.

I turned to where the flames were still dancing between the glowing coals and splashing red reflections upon the furniture; made two steps toward the grate, and incontinently the flames dwindled and vanished, the glow vanished, the reflections rushed together and disappeared, and as I thrust the candle between the bars darkness closed upon me like the shutting of an eye, wrapped about me in a stifling embrace, sealed my vision, and crushed the last vestiges of self-possession from my brain. And it was not only palpable darkness, but intolerable terror. The candle fell from my hands. I flung out my arms in a vain effort to thrust that ponderous blackness away from me, and lifting up my voice, screamed with all my might, once, twice, thrice. Then I think I must have staggered to my feet. I know I thought suddenly of the moonlit corridor, and with my head bowed and my arms over my face, made a stumbling run for the door.

But I had forgotten the exact position of the door, and I struck myself heavily against the corner of the bed. I staggered back, turned, and was either struck or struck myself against some other bulky furnishing. I have a vague memory of battering myself thus to and fro in the darkness, of a heavy blow at last upon my forehead, of a horrible sensation of falling that lasted an age, of my last frantic effort to keep my footing, and then I remember no more.

Step 4: annotate your quotations with what the imagery helps the reader to imagine and what words will zoom in on/what effect these words have.

Step 5: write up your answer. Always begin your answer by telling the examiner that you agree with the statement.

You should have underlined and annotated four quotations. Write one paragraph for each quotation.

TOP TIP: write a concluding sentence that links back to the statement and contains one of these words: strongly/effectively/successfully/skillfully/cleverly - this will show that you are evaluating the writer

Here is an example answer:

I agree with the student’s statement.

In line 25, the writer makes clear the room is frightening by writing ‘an invisible hand seemed to sweep out the two candles’. The imagery helps the reader to imagine that the candle light very suddenly disappears, plunging the room into darkness. The writer’s use of the word ‘invisible’ is spooky because the narrator cannot see who else is in the room and who put the candles out. The writer’s use of the word ‘hand’ implies that there is another person or ghost-like presence in the room. The fact that the candles go out without explanation is quite scary and is an example of how the writer cleverly creates a frightening atmosphere.

In lines 29-30, the writer creates a very spooky atmosphere by writing ‘the shadows I feared and fought against returned, and crept in upon me’. The writer’s use of imagery with these words help the reader to imagine that the narrator keeps being plunged into darkness. The writer’s use of the word ‘feared’ suggests that the narrator is very afraid of the darkness. Also, the writer’s use of the word ‘crept’ implies that the writer feels he is being chased by the shadows. It is as if the shadows have become human and are trying to catch him. Constantly being plunged into darkness like this in a room that you know is supposed to be haunted would be very frightening and is an another example of how the writer skilfully creates a frightening atmosphere.

In lines 34-35, the writer presents the narrator as very frightened by writing ‘I stumbled and fell and whisked the cloth from the table in my fall’. These words create strong and powerful imagery, helping the reader to imagine the narrator falling to the floor in a state of panic. The writer’s use of the words ‘stumbled and fell’ indicate that the narrator has lost control of his movement due to being unable to see. The writer’s use of the words ‘whisked the cloth from the table’ suggest that the narrator is so panicked that he grabs anything he can to try and stop his fall. It is clear from these words how frightened the narrator is.

In the closing lines of the extract, the writer demonstrates that the narrator severely hurts himself by writing ‘a heavy blow at last upon my forehead, of a horrible sensation of falling’. The imagery in these words helps the reader to vividly imagine the narrator being struck on his head and falling to the ground. The words ‘a heavy blow’ are deliberately mysterious because the reader doesn’t actually know whether the narrator has hit his own head on the furniture, or if something else in the room has hit him. This seems very spooky. The writer’s use of the words ‘horrible sensation’ indicate that the narrator can only feel himself falling but can’t actually see anything, which means that it is a very horrible feeling for him. The writer successfully creates an extremely frightening atmosphere and I believe the narrator is right to be very frightened.

Question 5: Creative Writing

Suggest, don’t tell

‘Telling’ the reader means describing something in a very basic way and stating the obvious without letting the reader work it out for themselves. The playwright Anton Chekhov one said: ‘don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.’ In other words: ‘show’ or ‘suggest’ means to give the reader the details that let them work out that the moon is shining for themselves.

Examples of ‘telling’

He looked very scared.

The teacher didn’t seem to care.

The sentences above simply tell the reader a fact without demonstrating it. How do we know he looked scared? How do we know the teacher didn’t seem to care? Adding specific detail stops writing from just ‘telling’ and allows it to start ‘suggesting’ or ‘hinting’ to create a more powerful image in the reader’s mind. Rather than telling the reader that ‘he looked very scared,’ the author needs to give us details that imply and allow us to deduce that he looks scared without stating the obvious.

Task 1: Suggest or Tell? Write an S for Suggest and a T for tell.

1. She felt embarrassed.
2. Her cheeks flushed red and she lowered her eyes to avoid his glare.
3. Each step she took had a small spring in it.
4. She was walking happily along the pavement because it was her birthday.
5. I was so angry with him.
6. I shoved him hard before striding off in the opposite direction.

Task 2: Suggest or Tell? Write an S for Suggest and a T for tell.

1. Michael was afraid of the dark and didn’t want his mum to leave the room.
2. As his mother switched off the light and left the room, Michael huddled under the covers, gripped the sheets and held his breath as the wind brushed past the curtain.
3. I walked through the forest. It was already autumn and I was getting cold.
4. The dry orange leaves crunched under my feet as I pulled the collar up on my coat.
5. He was very tall.
6. He had to duck as he walked through the doorway.

Task 3: Suggest or Tell? Write an S for Suggest and a T for tell.

1. Julia yawned and stretched. She glanced in the mirror at the large bags underneath her eyes and heaved a heavy sigh.
2. Julia felt tired. She had hardly slept last night.
3. I had a great conversation with Tim over dinner and loved hearing his stories.
4. I barely touched my food, riveted by Tim. “Let me tell you another story,” he said.
5. Jessica walked outside in the height of summer.
6. Jessica’s flip-flops flopped against the pavement as she reached in her bag for her suncream.

Task 4A: write sentences that suggest, not tell.

Tell She felt angry.

Suggest She scowled, creased her eyebrows and bared her teeth. She stomped her feet loudly on the pavement and clenched her fists.

She felt happy.

She felt excited.

She felt surprised.

She felt upset.

She felt confused.

She felt tired.

She felt stressed.

WRITING DIALOGUE

Scenario 4: a child confesses to his mother that he stole something.

Task 4A: try and write a short conversation between these two characters.

Task 4B: read back your conversation. Are there any dialogue tags you could change? Could you add any adverbs in? Can you add in extra information between the dialogue? Here is a reminder of what we mean by dialogue tags, adverbs and adding extra information between the dialogue.

“That apple looks delicious,” gushed Snow White, eagerly, her eyes lighting up as she stepped closer towards the old woman.

Scenario 5: two friends speak. One friend reveals a secret that they are actually a superhero, with superpowers.

Task 5A: try and write a short conversation between these two characters.

Task 5B: read back your conversation. Are there any dialogue tags you could change? Could you add any adverbs in? Can you add in extra information between the dialogue? Here is a reminder of what we mean by dialogue tags, adverbs and adding extra information between the dialogue.

“That apple looks delicious,” gushed Snow White, eagerly, her eyes lighting up as she stepped closer towards the old woman.

Scenario 6: Two strangers meet. One character is in a very bad mood because they have got wet on the way to work and they are running late. The other character tries to teach this character to think positively.

Task 6A: try and write a short conversation between these two characters.

Task 6B: read back your conversation. Are there any dialogue tags you could change? Could you add any adverbs in? Here is a reminder of what we mean by dialogue tags and adverbs.

“That apple looks delicious,” gushed Snow White, eagerly.

Scenario 7: A teenager finds themselves in a magic kingdom with a creature from one of their favourite story books. They ask questions and the other character tries to answer them.

Task 7A: try and write a short conversation between these two characters.

Task 7B: read back your conversation. Are there any dialogue tags you could change? Could you add any adverbs in? Can you add in extra information between the dialogue? Here is a reminder of what we mean by dialogue tags, adverbs and adding extra information between the dialogue.

“That apple looks delicious,” gushed Snow White, eagerly, her eyes lighting up as she stepped closer towards the old woman.

Scenario 8: A character is walking alone on a mountain. They come across another character who has fallen and hurt themselves, so they try to help.

Task 8A: try and write a short conversation between these two characters.

Task 8B: read back your conversation. Are there any dialogue tags you could change? Could you add any adverbs in? Can you add in extra information between the dialogue? Here is a reminder of what we mean by dialogue tags, adverbs and adding extra information between the dialogue.

“That apple looks delicious,” gushed Snow White, eagerly, her eyes lighting up as she stepped closer towards the old woman.

Scenario 9: A teenage girl goes on the ‘Time Travel’ ride at the local funfair. She suddenly finds herself face to face with Henry VIII.

Task 9A: try and write a short conversation between these two characters.

Task 9B: read back your conversation. Are there any dialogue tags you could change? Could you add any adverbs in? Can you add in extra information between the dialogue? Here is a reminder of what we mean by dialogue tags, adverbs and adding extra information between the dialogue.

“That apple looks delicious,” gushed Snow White, eagerly, her eyes lighting up as she stepped closer towards the old woman.

Scenario 10: A young woman comes across another young woman who has been in a car crash. She walks up towards the car.

Task 10A: try and write a short conversation between these two characters.

Task 10B: read back your conversation. Are there any dialogue tags you could change? Could you add any adverbs in? Can you add in extra information between the dialogue? Here is a reminder of what we mean by dialogue tags, adverbs and adding extra information between the dialogue.

“That apple looks delicious,” gushed Snow White, eagerly, her eyes lighting up as she stepped closer towards the old woman.

Scenario 11: A young girl enters an abandoned house. When she enters, she finds a strange-looking elderly woman in a wedding dress, clutching a photo of her grandfather, and claiming to know her. .

Task 11A: try and write a short conversation between these two characters.

Task 11B: read back your conversation. Are there any dialogue tags you could change? Could you add any adverbs in? Can you add in extra information between the dialogue? Here is a reminder of what we mean by dialogue tags, adverbs and adding extra information between the dialogue.

“That apple looks delicious,” gushed Snow White, eagerly, her eyes lighting up as she stepped closer towards the old woman.