Unsteady

Loading... Loading… Sage quickly exited the computer tab on her Mac Pro. Her attention darted to the Ipad lying on her floor. Scooping it up, she browsed Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat unconsciously passing judgement on her friends’ posts and comments. Her fingers glided across the lit screen without a moment's pause. With each post- parties, sports, friends- her eyes became glazed and zoned out. Soon, her mind seemed to go numb like a dancer going through the motions. Twenty minutes passed before she suddenly realized that she had a school project due the next day. She sat down at her desk which was cluttered with papers, pictures, and an occasional book. Her black painted room seemed to reflect her attitude as she cumbersomely worked through her project. Pictures of her most memorable times hung on her walls as reminders of her experiences. Next to the door was a dresser with accessories spewn about it. Across from her dresser was her twin bed further exhibiting her messiness. Outside her window was the front yard and safe neighborhood she lived in. To both sides of the house lived families who often celebrated Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Halloween with her family. However, despite her own family and home, she prefered to remain nestled in the back corner of the five room house, where she cherished her solitude and peace. Every day she returned home from school and went immediately to her room which offered comfort. Regardless of the day, her first actions consisted of walking to her room and then checking her phone for messages. One particular day, during the winter, Sage woke up in a haste to arrive at school early. She proceeded to eat a breakfast consisting of eggs, bacon, and toast. Both of her parents worked early and merely sat in silence as they ate their meal. Breaking the silence, Sage asked her mom what time she would be back from work. Her mom, absorbed with her phone, merely nodded her head as if it was a yes or no question. Rolling her eyes, Sage stood up and walked to the sink dumping her utensils and plate into the sink. In response, her dad chirped at her to be more careful. Then, her mom suddenly responded to the question as if it had just been asked. She would be home from work at four. As Sage prepared for school she wandered the house gathering her personal supplies and talked with no one. She seemed to glide from her room to the kitchen asking parents for signatures and permission slips. But none of her parents were aware of her need for help. Her dad stood up and walked to the TV to catch up on the news in the morning. Her mom quickly put the dishes in the dishwasher and then answered a phone call from work. Sage was indifferent to learn that finally she was out of her parents attention. Finally, near eight o’clock, Sage’s mom dropped her off at school and left for work. Sage had always loved school but her knowledge of friends’ parties, school events, and sporting games made her realize just how much she missed out on. Her family seemed to be set on their own tracks with no regard for each other. But Sage only thought about that for a second then headed to her class. As the day progressed she attended math, english, and history class before running into a new kid at school. They were both in the same PE class and had met when assigned partners. Sage was shy but wanted to offer the new girl a kind welcome. They began to chat about where each girl lived and what their family was like. Sage described her family as she saw it- each with their own agenda. The new girl’s name was Ruth Carney and she had just moved from Texas. Ruth was of medium height with large friendly eyes and a face that appeared content. She was outgoing and willing to meet Sage. Her body was thin but strong, ready for any type of physical activity. Each girl seemed to be content with the other as they proceeded through the day together. During lunch, Sage once again reverted to her phone. She was unable to occupy herself with merely discussing experiences with Ruth. Her mind once again wandered as she fell in touch with other people's’ lives. She felt a sense of jealousy as she compared her own life with the highlights of others.’ Ruth merely sat, waiting for Sage to return to the conversation at hand. She watched as other kids in the lunchroom also reverted to their electronics when they felt slightly bored of the events surrounding them. Ruth soon turned her attention to homework and reading. Once again, Sage was sucked into the world of technology as her fingers scrolled through numerous highlights. She rarely went a day without posting something of her own to show her friends that she was living an eventful life too.

Later that day Sage was taken home by her mom after work. “How was work?” Sage asked her mom. “It was fine. During lunch I was looking up colleges for you. Have any of them caught your interest yet?”

“No.” replied Sage, “I haven’t had time to spend on looking up colleges.” Her mom merely nodded as she asked Siri what the weather would be tomorrow. Again, Sage attempted to ask her mom about work but was cut off short by her mom’s focus on talking with yet another person through phone. She sat the rest of the car ride home in silence, occasionally responding to direct messages on Instagram. When they arrived home Sage went directly to her room. The large house seemed to contrast the closeness that Sage was yearning. None of the rooms, filled with their own individual entertainment devices, could satisfy Sage’s need to talk about her school day and Ruth. She had never realized how much she wanted to talk about her day with one of her parents. So Sage went to her dad’s office to try to talk with him. He was sitting behind his desk with his laptop open scrolling through online stores. His eyes barely moved off the screen as he saw her figure appear in the doorway. He remained silent. His fingers smudged together repeatedly as the mouse frantically moved across the flat computer screen. His papers lay nearby, waiting to be worked on. Sage walked in only to be met with further silence. “How was work dad?”

“Good” he replied.

“Are you going to the football game with me tomorrow night?” She asked him.

“No, I have work to do sweetie. Enjoy yourself!” With this response, Sage left her dad’s quiet office. His eyes remained fixed on his computer as she slowly made her way out of his room. No one seemed to care about her day.

RUTH WAS SEVENTEEN. She lived in a peaceful neighborhood ten minutes from school. Her family consisted of her mom and dad, brother, and two sisters. She returned that day to a kitchen full of laughter, chatting, and practical jokesters. Her parents were working together to make dinner and the kids were setting the table. Ruth ran to her room quickly to put her school work down and then return to the kitchen. Right as she placed her bag down she heard the buzz of her cell phone. She had received a text from Sage. It merely said “How was your day?” Ruth opened her phone and began responding but suddenly the noise of laughter reached her room. Remembering her family's goal to prepare the meal together, Ruth laid down her phone and returned to the kitchen where she ate dinner.

Meanwhile, as Sage waited for a response from Ruth, dark thoughts began to creep into her mind. She wondered if Ruth was intentionally ignoring her. Nothing could divert her attention away from the need to be answered. Continuing her homework, Sage repeatedly glanced at her phone, waiting for approval. Soon, she realized that Ruth wasn’t going to respond. Combined with her feelings of loneliness, Sage was discontent with looking through her peers Instagrams filled with happy, carefree pictures. She longed for the same relationships and highlights in her life. Suddenly, she heard a knock on her door. Rushing to it, Sage peeped through the widening crack as the wooden door creaked open. On the other side stood Ruth. “Hi!” exclaimed Sage. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you in person.”

“Why?”

“I saw your text message and wanted to answer in person. I thought we could work on homework together?”

“Sure!” replied Sage. Her face glowed from excitement as she realized the what Ruth had done for her. The two girls spent the evening finishing their homework and talking about their days. Both were happy that they were finally making their own memories and highlights. As Ruth was getting ready to leave, Sage’s phone buzzed. “Goodbye Sage! What time do you want to study tomorrow?” asked Ruth. Sage glanced at her phone, someone had commented on an earlier post. She reached for her phone but suddenly remembered Ruth’s presence. Placing her phone down, she looked at Ruth and responded “Whenever you are free.”