Negotiating Your Offer

Michael Palumbo:

Hello, this is Michael Palumbo from the class of 98. I'm an executive and leadership coach and I'll be guiding you through this training module on negotiation.

So to start, what does negotiation bring up for you? For a lot of people, this is a very hairy, uncomfortable topic.  It's often not a lot of fun and we can really create a lot of roadblocks and obstacles for ourselves in trying to be better negotiators.

So first, just start on a scale of one to 10. Just write down what is your confidence level right now negotiating compensation for a new job, with one being very low and 10 being very confident.

So, once you have that, just wherever you are, it's okay. This is the start of this little journey that we have through this module.

The next part here is to take a look inside and say, what are my current beliefs around negotiation? Is it, “I really hate negotiating and this is very uncomfortable”? If that's your starting point and you go into a negotiation with that mentality, what results are you going to get out of that negotiation? Probably not so hot.

So we're going to work on transforming those and translating some of those limiting or negative beliefs into more positive beliefs.  We all have a lot of internal critics and voices and it's okay. For this exercise, you just want to meet them and greet them.  Listen to them and just get down on paper: what are all of those different negative beliefs? Or maybe you do have positive beliefs. Whatever your starting point is about negotiation, just write them down.

And as you go back, take a look at some of the ones that are negative: it's uncomfortable, I don't like it, I don't have a voice in this process.

You're going to try to translate those into something more positive: can you find the opportunity? can you find the mentality and the mindset to try to learn and to adjust so if something is uncomfortable and unfamiliar? Say: I'm going to do this module, I'm going to practice the skills and improve, or I'm not good at negotiation… yet. Find that window of opportunity to find your voice and advocate for yourself.

So here's where you can turn to the exercises in the module and stay tuned for the next video in this section.

On a scale of 1-10, what is your confidence level negotiating compensation for a new job?

On a simple 2 column table, on the left side write down your current beliefs and feelings about an upcoming negotiation - good, bad or ugly.

• What are your internal critics saying about you and an upcoming negotiation? Write them down in the left column.

• What strengths, gifts and talents will you bring to the job?

• What values or mission do you align with in the new company?

• What are you most excited about in the new position?

• What will you enjoy most about the new role?

Revisit the table you created. On the right side, reframe any negative statements or beliefs into positive ones. For example:

• “I hate negotiating salary. It’s so uncomfortable.” -> “I have a great opportunity to set myself up for success now and in the future.”

• “I’m no good at negotiating.” -> “I will build new strengths and evolve as I go.”

When negotiation comes to mind, the first thing people think about is salary, bonus and numbers.  Part of the exercise here is to look way beyond that and before you even get to the numbers, take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture. You're negotiating more than just a number, more than just a paycheck in your direct deposit.

What you're negotiating is: what are your life going to look life look like? and how is this job going to fit in?

So, what stage are you in your career?  And put yourself, your needs, and your outside commitments first. What are your family commitments? What kind of hours do you want to work? What kind of benefits do they have?  Do you want to go back to school? Will your company support that? Do they have training?

So take a look at the bigger picture and just go ahead and list out all of those other things. Leave the numbers aside. You'll get to that in the next exercise.

But think big, look big, be creative, empty your head, make a list of all the things that you could possibly negotiate for that you have an interest in in this position. That's the next starting point.

What stage of your career are you in?

Put yourself, your happiness and commitments outside of work first. What lifestyle do you want this job to support?

Action: Create Your Personal Compensation Package

• Make a list of all aspects of the total compensation package that are important to you. Go beyond the salary or rate. For example: staff reporting to you, hiring authority, budget authority, personal time, pension, 401k, health insurance, location flexibility, vacation time, ability to flex hours during the workday, do you want to work nights and weekends, tuition reimbursement, formal on-the-job-training, subsidized professional coaching, company discounts and perks.

• After exhausting the list, go back and assign a numeric value 3,2 or 1 to each item. 

  • 3 is high-importance, must-have. 

  • 2 is important

  • 1 is sugar on top if it comes to fruition, but I’m ok without it.

1. Research the market for similar jobs. What is a realistic range for the type of role you are negotiating about?

2. What is a salary range you would feel good about saying yes too? The bottom of the range should feel like you are valued and respected.

Michael Palumbo:

In this video in the negotiation training module, I want to start with a short story about Bertha Flowers, who was a very influential teacher in the life of Maya Angelou.

Words of wisdom that Bertha imparted to Maya changed her life. She said, “Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with the shades of deeper meaning." She added, “You do not love poetry, not until you speak it.”

So we can take from that theme, how important it is to speak the words and practice what you want to say, what you want to ask when you're in that conversation about negotiation.

So find a partner and we're going to prepare for the tough questions, but we're going to have some fun with it. In that preparation and in that little test lab that you'll have with a partner, have some fun with it. And be a little snarky, be a little witty and use that to expand your comfort zone and here's an example:

Someone may ask you in a very serious question say, “well, well, how much you're making now?”

Would you turn around and say, “well how much are you making now?”

Now, would you say that in an actual negotiation? Probably not, but if you can say something like that and it can roll off your tongue in the practice, if you get a question like that, at the negotiation table you'll be in a better position to handle it with a more level-headed answer.

So here's another example, if someone said, “well, look, what what's the minimum salary that you would really take to say yes to this position?”

“Well, what's the maximum you would offer for this role and I'll see if that works for me.”

Now, if you did say that in an actual negotiation that might actually earn you some respect because it shows that you're being creative, you're finding your voice here and they will take you seriously.

But it's also fun and if it's not comfortable for you to say that in an actual negotiation, practicing with your partner, push your limits, get creative, say something you wouldn't normally say. That will help you come back, find your baseline, and find your voice when it matters most negotiating.

So now head back to the exercises and be sure to speak it out loud and practice with your partner.

1. Review the list of Must-haves from the prior exercise, which you valued as a “3.” Write down statements about what you want for each of those items.

2. Say each of those statements out loud 3 times.

3. Revise those statements to be concise, clear and firm.

4. Say them out loud again.

5. Write down the 3 negotiating questions you dread the most?

6. Write down 3 options on how to respond to each of those questions, even if the response may seem outlandish, witty or snarky. 

7. Say each of those responses out loud.

8. Research what topics are off the table in your country or state, such as race, gender, religion, sexual orientation. Some states in the USA do not allow potential employers to ask what you earn from past or current jobs? How will you hold your ground if these questions come up?

9. Find a partner to practice with. Have them ask you the tough questions. Try your responses out loud with your partner. 

10. What surprised you about yourself in the practice exercise?

11. What risks will you take now that you would not have considered earlier?

1. What worked well that I want to keep doing? 

2. What did not work that I won’t do next time?

3. What did I not do that I will do next time?

4. Where did I challenge myself?

5. How will I celebrate the new experience I gained in this negotiation?

Michael Palumbo:

So this concludes the training module on negotiation. I hope you found it helpful. So while this module may be complete, your learning may just begin, and that's great.

So take what you've learned here, apply it in your next conversation, in your next negotiation, and out of that there'll be more lessons learned.

So you may come back to this, you may come back to the skills again. This will evolve and you will grow. So just continue to learn, continue to ask questions, continue to practice, and this cycle of learning will continue to grow, and you'll be a better negotiator over time. I hope you found this section helpful. Thank you.

After completing this module and practice negotiations with a partner, what is your confidence level now from 1-10? 

What next steps can you take to boost your confidence even higher?

Articles:

• What's the Best Way to Give Ground in a Negotiation? (Harvard Business Review, October 20, 2021)

Videos:

• Million Dollar Words: Negotiating Better Pay and Benefits (Katie Donovan '85, Founder, Equal Pay Negotiations, LLC, June 15, 2016)

• "What Does It Mean When...": Stories in Compensation Negotiations (Katie Donovan '85, Founder, Equal Pay Negotiations, LLC, September 14, 2017)

Hopefully this training has sparked new ideas and gotten the wheels turning on your career search.  What new questions are on your mind?  

Please email alumnicareers@holycross.edu and include "Negotiating Q&A Forum" in the subject line.  A reply will be emailed back to you, and the Q&A will be featured anonymously in this forum to benefit future learners.

Michael Palumbo is a coach and consultant to senior executives and new managers and he is a regular speaker in his areas of expertise. Michael supports professionals to confidently take risks, find comfort in uncertainty, lead through crisis and reignite passion in their careers.

Michael’s mission is to bring heart and soul to the corporate world. Anchored in two decades of leading global teams and high-profile projects, he serves his clients in the following areas:

• Mastering Internal Dialogue: Michael helps leaders navigate their inner landscape as deftly as their organization. Leaders who effectively manage the voices inside, or parts of our personality, can establish executive presence, overcome Imposter Syndrome and demonstrate wisdom and poise to lead from the front in the most challenging times.

• Coaching first-time managers and senior leaders: Michael supports clients through upward career transitions to maximize impact and build successful teams. Clients develop skills to influence, articulate vision and align organizations.

• Leading through crisis: Through global, organizational or personal times of uncertainty, Michael guides leaders under stress to think, operate and execute strategically. By working on their “inner game,” clients experience reduced stress, clearer decision-making and increased collaboration.

• Managing difficult conversations:  Michael offers individual coaching, webinars and workshops on how to manage uncomfortable conversations including delivering feedback and how to safely talk about differences such as race and culture.

• Program and Project Management: Michael serves as a lead consultant or program/project manager on initiatives including Integrations, Cybersecurity, Infrastructure and Agile Software Development.

Michael’s coaching and consulting experience spans across Financial Services, Health Care, Insurance, Technology and Operations. In addition to being part of a startup core, he has served as an engagement management consultant at global financial institutions. With every assignment, he works with new teams to establish trust, solve problems and deliver impactful solutions. Some of his greatest successes are tied to pivotal historical events such as disaster recovery after the September 11th attacks in 2001, rebounding during the credit crisis of 2008 and national branch conversions during Hurricane Sandy in 2012.

After earning a Bachelor’s Degree from the College of the Holy Cross, Michael pursued a Masters of Divinity at Harvard.

UPON REALIZING THAT ACADEMIA WAS NOT HIS PASSION, HE CHANGED DIRECTION AND DISCOVERED HIS THREE CALLINGS: LEADERSHIP, COACHING AND FATHERHOOD.

Michael is credentialed through the International Coach Federation as an Associate Certified Coach and has a Hogan Assessments Certification. He volunteers as an Executive Coach for the Financial Women’s Association Pacesetters program to develop the next generation of women leaders. He is a certified Project Management Professional and a Certified Scrum Master.

In his free time, Michael enjoys cooking, hiking, photography and playing t-ball with his son.

https://www.michaelpalumbocc.com/