December 12, 2024
Shalom - The Greeting of Peace,
On the evening of October 2, we in Israel marked the beginning of the Jewish New Year accompanied by hopes for a new year that would bring with it safety, health and peace. The new year beginning January 1 is another opportunity to renew hope for the cessation of hostilities, the return of the hostages, and the reconstruction that will allow Israeli citizens to return to their homes in the north and in the south.
It is now over 430 days since the war began October 7, 2023 on "Black Saturday" and the Shmini Atzeret holiday. Hamas and other terrorist groups crossed into Israel to kill, massacre, rape and kidnap Israeli civilians and members of the security forces. Over 1100 people were killed that day, and 250 were taken into the Gaza as hostages. Since that day, Israel's society has been sorely tested. Not only have a quarter of a million people been displaced from their homes and communities, but the inter-connectiveness of citizens in Israel means that the majority of the citizens here are either directly involved or have close family and friends whose lives have been shaken to the core by the events of the past year. The mounting toll on life, limb, mental health and treasure are extremely costly. Israeli society continues to be buffeted by the ongoing war and attacks from Hezbollah in the North and the ongoing war in the Gaza strip.
Israel's response has seen the mobilization of a broad swathe of mental health practitioners and services to help the population cope with the trauma, loss and traumatic bereavements this war has brought home. In the first days and weeks of the war, the spontaneous mobilization of clinicians as volunteers provided much needed care. With time, more organized responses have come online, but the needs far exceed what is available.
How to memorialize the events of October 7 is an opportunity for the country's citizens to revisit what happened, to make sense and give meaning to the events and their aftermath. It is also an opportunity to support the many circles of people whose lives have been upended in the past year. As in grief and mourning, no one size fits all, and there will be many venues, memorials and commemorative ceremonies live, in the media, and on social media. Private memorials for family and friends will mark the day as well.
Securing the release of the remaining hostages, held in captivity in the warrens of the Gaza, weighs heavily on the Israeli populace. Breaking the cycle of violence must involve attention to the human needs of the people in the region. Israel and her people must protect their Jewish and non-Jewish citizens and their country. And the search for a way forward to the benefit of all persons between the Jordan river and the Mediterranean remains a priority for Israel's future. Humanitarian aid and attention to the basic needs of the Gaza populace must also be taken into account. The situation is complex, but reason and common humanity must also be a factor in the military and political considerations.
[Please note- the website of the International Laboratory for the Study of Loss, Bereavement and Human Resilience can be accessed for much additional information. We are working on making the site more user friendly-- but it will take a bit more time.]
The terrible events that took place in the Israeli towns, villages and roads near the Gaza strip were devastating for the citizens of Israel and for all who value human life. When I first wrote, 7 days had passed, civilized persons around the world were reminded of the evil that men can do. Several updates later, we are now nearing four months following the terrible deeds that started the current war. I did not go into detail regarding the degree to which the terrorists associated with Hamas and the Islamic Jihad movement treated their victims as means to seek revenge and promote terror rather than as children, women, elderly and young adults as people. The continuing missile attacks in the south and main population centers of Israel are designed to do damage to the sense of security of the citizens here. The ongoing attacks are psychologically disruptive, but the physical damage they wreak are negligible. And compared to the executions, murders, rape, maiming and burning persons as well as the kidnapping of living and dead for transport to their strongholds in the Gaza, the continuing missile attacks indeed pale by comparison. The horrors that unfolded on Saturday, the Jewish holiday of Shmini Atzeret-Simchat Torah, have not been experienced by the Jewish people since the Holocaust in Europe.
The air and ground attacks on Gaza are costly in human lives and suffering. It is both possible and necessary to care about the preservation of human life on both sides of this conflict. And it is critical to find a way forward with hope.
Within Israel, grief and pain for those killed in the murderous attacks on civilians and soldiers who fell in combat during this still unfolding war, are connected to strong empathy for all those who have lost family and friends. The wounded in body and spirit are also deserving of our attention and care. Securing the hostages release is a national priority, as is freeing Israel from its status as hostage to the most extreme terrorist organizations.
The overall response of the civilian population to come to the aid of their country and their countrymen has been astounding. The "start-up nation" indeed manages to get things done in ways and with alternatives that are creative and successful. In contrast to the government's and military's initially inadequate responses, the private sector has been taking the lead and responding to the needs without heed for expense. The scenes of Israeli's returning from vacations, work and study abroad, in order to come to the aid of their fellow citizens is heartening.
As mental health professionals, many of us are part of the response to the events unfolding in real time. The degree to which clinicians from every discipline and level of experience are assisting the persons most directly affected by the horrible events that began a week ago is nothing short of amazing.
Thank you to the people here and abroad, Jewish and not, who have responded with care and concern, to the plight of those who have lost family, homes, friends, and the life they had before Shmini Atzeret. May our shared humanity remain so.
I close with a quotation from Chapter 4, Mishne 5, from tractate Sanhedrin:
"לפיכך נברא אדם יחידי בעולם, ללמד שכל המאבד נפש אחת, מעלים עליו כאילו איבד עולם מלא; וכל המקיים נפש אחת, מעלים עליו כאילו קיים עולם מלא"
Whoever destroys a single life is considered by Scripture to have destroyed the whole world, and whoever saves a single life is considered by Scripture to have saved the whole world.
Shalom / שלום
Thank you,
Simon Shimshon Rubin
Below is the July opening page:
July 2023
Welcome and Shalom:
The coming of the summer marks the shift to a different balance of schedule and commitments. Updating my website is one of the things I have a chance to do.
A number of new publications are now available for the interested reader. Three of them are related to the Manevich, Rubin et al series connected to "The Two-Track Model of Dementia Grief and spousal response to illness and death." Rubin, Malkinson & Witztum's comments on reactions to the new DSM-5TR Prolonged Grief Disorder diagnosis can be found in the correspondence section of the Lancet Psychiatry September issue. Besides new publications that are listed, the Two-Track Bereavement Questionnaire version 3 (TTBQ3-CG11) has been placed on the website with a short 11 item version. It is appropriate for deaths due to Corona as well as other causes. It can be found under publications. The Two-Track Bereavement Questionnaire – Complicated Grief 31 — TTBQ2-CG31 is available and yields 4 factors and a total score. The full TTBQ2-70 is useful for research and clinical applications. Sensitive clinical work accompanied by careful documentation and measurement is a useful practice for organizations and clinics dealing with clients who have undergone loss.
Best wishes,
Simon Shimshon Rubin
P.S. Scrolling down shows you earlier opening pages with relevant information.
Matho Monastery Ladakh
The Rosh Hashana Jewish New Year is drawing near, followed by Yom Kippur- The Day of Atonement and the Sukkot holidays. Soon to be followed by the new academic year. But not just yet.
I continue with a brief orientation to my website and homepage. I am a university professor of clinical psychology as well as an active clinician treating clients. The material on this website is designed to meet the information needs of both professionals and laypersons. In addition to my ongoing work as a practicing clinical psychologist and therapist, my professional work and publications also reflect my interests in loss and bereavement, ethics in the professions, and the practice of psychotherapy and supervision. Educational materials, course syllabi, unpublished student material, and various other materials are accessible on the website. The links are to both international as well as Israeli sites. The website here, and the developing website of the International Laboratory for the Study of Loss, Bereavement and Human Resilience, contain information for professionals on loss, bereavement, and intervention.
Summer, 2021
May 2021 was a very difficult time for Israelis and Palestinians. For people of good will living far away, the disparities between the various national groupings, ethnicities, religions and political groups ensnared in the conflict make it hard not to condemn the Israeli response to the barrage of rockets directed towards its civilian population centers from Gaza. If the recent events provoke renewed thinking and understanding of the importance of working with the other side for a respectful and more just way of living near each other, that will be a good thing.
Within the state of Israel, the Jews and Muslims who share citizenship have a duty to each other to find new ways of living together. Together with members of the Christian, Druze and other religious and ethnic communities within this country, there is a need to dismantle prejudice and inequality over time. Right now, the need for justice and fairness in government, employment, education and housing for majority and minority citizens demand thoughtful action. Whether time is on the side of building a fairer society together or tearing down the instruments of a shared life in this imperfect country I cannot say. But I believe in the human ability to change-- most particularly when there is no real alternative.
Two months ago, I could write the following:
Together with our fellow sojourners on the planet, we continue to seek to manage health, social bonds and economic sustainability during these times of Covid-19. The vaccine rollout holds out hope for a return to more open and connected ways of being in the world. The most vulnerable among us have much to gain from a return to "normal" patterns of interaction. At this point in time, it is the children who have the most to gain from the return to the frameworks of school and peer interactions. Let us hope that they find opportunities to thrive in the coming months.
For those interested, my newest publication on the subject of grief is: The Two-Track Model of Dementia Grief (TTM-DG): The theoretical and clinical significance of the continuing bond in sickness and in death can be found online in Death Studies. doi: 10.1080/07481187.2019.1688014
Autumn, 2020
The Corona pandemic has affected citizens across the world. Here in Israel, the stay at home order has been modified to allow for many activities but the resurgence of the virus has upended the gains made during the initial lockdown. Social distance and mask wearing are mandated in many places but compliance is variable. The economic fallout continues to be a major concern for a tremendous number of families and it is too early to say how this extended crisis will play out both in Israel and around the world. It is very clear, however, that vulnerable populations are most negatively affected. While continuing with clinical practice, research and teaching, my colleagues and I have been involved with the "Out of the Depths" NGO organization and website. The site is a portal to assist persons affected by loss and bereavement in these troubled times.
These things take our breath away: As a citizen of the US and as a citizen of the world, it is terribly troubling to watch the situation in the United States. The inequities and unfairness of all too many parts of the social contract are in great need of attention. The disproportionate negative health outcomes (death and illness) for persons of color in the US should serve as a catalyst for change among all persons of good will. It is also very hard not to compare our local universal health coverage in Israel with the broken health delivery care system in America. Alas, change will require a nationwide bipartisan effort and a willingness to examine facts rather than ideology and myths about "socialized medicine and death panels." How likely? Not very. How necessary? Super necessary. We are both participants and spectators in the writing of the history of this time period. Let's try to do a good job of the former and leave the latter for later. The approach of the elections in November will probably increase the more divisive aspects of the national discourse. Hopefully, the outcomes of the elections will facilitate change and cooperation among persons of good will who have the responsibility of fulfilling their duties to the citizens who entrusted them with their offices.
Wishing all good health, good spirits and good actions.
Simon Shimshon Rubin
The 2019-20 academic year has begun and my third year on the faculty of the Max Stern Jezreel Valley Academic College reflects the greater familiarity with colleagues and students in the "Emek" (valley). Teaching the undergraduate and graduate students at the college has been challenging and rewarding. I continue to serve as Founder and Director of the International Center for the Study of Loss, Bereavement and Human Resilience and Chairman of the "Zramim" Postgraduate Program in Psychotherapy at the University of Haifa.The title of Professor Emeritus has meant fewer meetings, but beyond that, not much has changed for me or for my students and colleagues at Haifa. My research, academic and clinical work continue. I am Associate Editor for Death Studies since January, 2018. That has been both a great honor, as well as (Spiderman’s Uncle Ben notwithstanding) something that comes with great responsibility .Time remains a precious commodity, and it is in very short supply during the academic year.
Looking back, our team was very pleased with the 3rd International Conference on Loss Bereavement and Human Resilience that was held in Eilat, Israel in January of 2019. My role as co-chair of the conference brought with it the opportunity to interact with with colleagues and friends from Israel and around the world. The 7th annual conference on Remembrance Days and Other Days: Who, What, When and Why do we Remembers was held on January 9th 2018 at the University of Haifa’s Observatory floor. The focus was on Losses due to Death and Divorce and the program can be viewed online. The 8th annual conference talks were interwoven with the Eilat International Conference and we are looking forward to organizing a program for 2019-20.
In 2017-18, I was the guest for the Caring for Loss organization in Taipei, Taiwan and gave a 3 hour introduction and a 7 hour workshop to our colleagues there. I was very impressed with the warmth and industriousness of the people, the beauty of the country, and the knowledge of our colleagues. In November, I joined colleagues to lecture at a conference in honor of our friend and colleague Dr. Ruthmaijke Smeding on the occasion of her retiring from aspects of her active work. The location of the conference was in Freising, outside of Munich, Germany and the Conference on Spirituality and Bereavement was most edifying. The Interpersonal Relationship Conference in Fort Collins, Colorado and the Bioethics conference in Jerusalem, Israel were also conferences where I presented as well as learned from my younger and older colleagues.
The spring semester and summer break of the 2016-17 academic year were particularly busy. After the school year, I gave a plenary at the International Bereavement Conference in Lisbon and interacted with colleagues and friends from around the world. Dr. Ruth Malkinson and I gave a full day pre-conference workshop in the area of working with the continuing bonds to the deceased which was well received. I was fortunate to be able to take a summer sabbatical (during their winter) in Argentina and found the country and the people most congenial. In addition to lecturing and writing, I was able to begin to appreciate aspects of the culture, lifestyle and complex and sometimes tragic history of this amazing country.
In the Spring of 2017, I traveled to Portland, Oregon to speak at the Association for Death Education and Counseling and honored the memory of Professor Phyllis Silverman z”l and her contributions in the area of Continuing Bonds. Phyllis was an international consultant for the International Center for the Study of Loss, Bereavement and Human Resilience. The Center hosted the 6th annual Hebrew conference day Remembrance Days and Other Days: Why, What, When and Why do We Remember?: Kenes 22 November Preliminary Announcement in November of 2016. The conference also served as the formal book launch for the Hebrew Language 2016 volume: The Many Faces of Loss and Bereavement: Theory and Therapy authored by myself, Dr. Ruth Malkinson and Prof. Eliezer Witztum.
Towards the end of May, the book The Many Faces of Loss and Bereavement in Israel: Theory and Therapy formally entered the Hebrew language literature on bereavement. Together with my friends and colleagues Ruth Malkinson and Eliezer Witztum, we set out to put together a comprehensive book that added much new material relevant for Israel to our 2012 volume Working with the Bereaved: Multiple Lenses on Loss and Mourning. We will follow its reception over time.
In April of 2016, I was honored to give the Ira Nerken Address at the Association for Death Education and Counseling annual conference. My talk titled The Two-Track Model of Bereavement: A Contemporary Look at Theory, Research and Practice was a welcome challenge to reach a new generation of thanatolgists.
The January 12-14, 2016 International and National Conference on Loss, Bereavement and Human Resilience in Israel and the World was held in Eilat and we were pleased to host over 400 local and foreign attendees. Details available on the website give information on the conference as well as the pre-conference workshop with Prof. Robert Neimeyer (Jan. 11-12). Plenary lectures and award lectures in English were given by Professors and Drs. Amy Chow, Shmuel Mooli Lahad, Ruth Malkinson, Robert Neimeyer, Colin M. Parkes, Simon Shimshon Rubin, & Eliezer Witztum, A special award was given to Professor Phyllis Silverman who was represented by Dr. Gila Silverman who delivered the acceptance speech. Participants had the chance to listen and interact with these leaders in the field as well as ample opportunities to participate in mini-workshops, paper sessions, and group discussions. The mix of professionals from Israel and abroad, as well as the attendance by persons who had experienced bereavement made for a emotionally rewarding experience.
In 2010, the University of Haifa approved the establishment of an International Center for the Study of Loss, Bereavement and Human Resilience with myself as director of the center. I am an active clinician treating clients. The material on this website is designed to meet the information needs of both professionals and laypersons. The main issues addressed focus on loss and bereavement, ethics in the professions, and psychotherapy and supervision. Educational materials, course syllabi, unpublished student material, and various other materials are accessible as well. The links are to both international as well as Israeli sites.The website here, and the developing website of the International Center for the Study of Loss, Bereavement and Human Resilience, contain information for professionals on loss, bereavement, and intervention.
Near and far, we know that resilience characterizes most people. The seasons provide us with inspiration. Winter in many climates can be harsh, but it brings with it the promise of spring and renewal as well. Life and the living find ways to adapt to difficult times and situations. Thus we are reminded of the resilience all around us and within ourselves. Adding the word resilience to the title of the center touches on our reality no less than the fact that all of us will experience the loss of people important to us over the course of our lifetime.
Respect for human life is a value that wisely reminds us of the uniqueness of each person and how important it is for each of us to help translate this value into reality. We can only truly grieve, honor and remember persons whose uniqueness was appreciated by us.
With best wishes,
Simon Shimshon Rubin, Ph.D. – Professor of Clinical Psychology, Director of the International Center for the Study of Loss, Bereavement and Human Resilience, Chairman, Postgraduate Program in Psychotherapy
Mount Hood, Oregon, 2017