An online tool that encourages conversations with your child to create a personalized family technology agreement, based on individual responses.
Although geared towards older kids, it's a good way to start a conversation with your children about access and boundaries.
Gaming/Streaming/Messaging Apps
In brief:
Check parental controls for every app your child uses.
Find out if your kids are playing alone, with people they know, or with the public.
See if there is a safer version for your child to use (eg YouTube Kids instead of Youtube), or ensure your child is using a profile that is age appropriate.
Don't add your credit card information to an app so your kids can't make unauthorized purchases!
Minecraft
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/parents-ultimate-guide-to-minecraft
Notes: Playing single player creative mode in peaceful setting means no interaction with others and no violence. If your kids want to play multiplayer, best way is to join a “realm”, an invitation only personal Minecraft server for up to 10 players. Parental controls available for Minecraft will depend on the device, but you can disable chat and multiplayer features.
Roblox
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/parents-ultimate-guide-to-roblox
Notes: There are two modes for Roblox - you can play games and you can create them. It is rated for users 13+. You can enable parental settings by adding your email address and creating a PIN so that your kids can’t change the settings. Some parts of it require Robux - online money to buy things. Chat is filtered and there are human monitors, but there are also ways to bypass them. You can specify account settings in the linked Roblox account (limits playable games to those selected by Roblox itself). Putting in your child’s birth date will trigger chat filtering for their age. You can view your child’s history. You can Restrict interactions via Content Settings and Other Settings, but it doesn’t disable friend requests.
Fortnight
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/parents-ultimate-guide-to-fortnite
Notes: Fortnight: Battle Royale is the free version, and it is likely that your child is playing that. It is recommended for 13+, but the violence is bloodless and more cartoonish. There are three modes: solo, duo, and squad. You can set parental controls, and game privacy (public, friends, private). You can also disable voice & text chat, and have a weekly report sent to you.
Facebook Messenger for Kids
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/app-reviews/messenger-kids
Notes: It is designed for kids under 13, but Common Sense Media recommends 13+. There are many parental controls, but Facebook does collect data on all its users. You also need to be wary of common concerns about social media use, and whether you want to introduce social media at a young age.
TikTok
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/parents-ultimate-guide-to-tiktok
Notes: Users under 13 can't post videos or comment, and videos are curated, but you can bypass this by entering a false birthdate. Be wary of TikTok challenges. You can enable content filters and time limits on your child's device, or use Family Pairing to manage your child's setting with your own phone.
How To Lock Down Devices
Our kids are really good at finding all of the things we don’t want them to while using screens. My daughter once texted two coworkers (one was my boss!) a song we were listening to from Spotify when she had my phone for two seconds. I didn’t even know you could do that! I then had to have two very awkward conversations to explain why I was randomly sending them songs…
I know from first hand experience that it can be really hard to set controls on all of the devices our kids have access to - it just gets so overwhelming! We have pulled together a few websites for you that break down how to set those controls and hopefully make the process a little easier.
Resources
Drop down lists for types of devices, gaming consoles, social media accounts, entertainment and search engines, and broadband and mobile networks
Easy reference to keep handy - provides detailed instructions that are easy to follow
Also offers age appropriate advice on talking to your kids about the importance of Internet safety
Explains importance of setting parental controls
Provides steps to set controls using Google Family Link, Apple’s Family Sharing App, and the Windows Family Safety App
Offers advice to prevent kids from evading the controls you set
Info on blocking texts from both known and unknown contacts
Details for iPhone and Android
How to be “Internet Awesome!”
Great resources for grades 3rd through 5th
Can download lessons and activities as well as Conversation Tips and Starters and a Family Pledge
Tools for Grown Ups!
In addition to safety rules, protecting kids online requires the use of software tools, better known as parental controls. Parental control software helps prevent objectionable content and dangerous people from gaining access to your child. A comprehensive suite of parental control tools should include customizable filters, accountability/monitoring software, time-managing controls, and Instant Messaging (IM) and chat controls. Parental controls should be utilized on all Internet-enabled devices (phones, computers, etc...). However, these resources are not a substitute for parental supervision.
Parental Control Apps: These are apps you can buy to help manage your child's screen time:
Resources:
https://www.safewise.com/resources/parental-control-filters-buyers-guide/
https://www.tomsguide.com/us/best-parental-control-apps,review-2258.html
Password Management
Use password management software, like Google Passwords or LastPass.
Use a unique password for each account.
Create unique passwords that use a combination of words, numbers, symbols, and both upper- and lower-case letters.
Do not use your network username as your password.
Don’t use easily guessed passwords, such as “password” or “user.”
Do not choose passwords based upon details that may not be as confidential as you’d expect, such as your birth date, your Social Security or phone number, or names of family members.
Do not use words that can be found in the dictionary. Password-cracking tools freely available online often come with dictionary lists that will try thousands of common names and passwords. If you must use dictionary words, try adding a numeral to them, as well as punctuation at the beginning or end of the word (or both!).
Avoid using simple adjacent keyboard combinations: For example, “qwerty” and “asdzxc” and “123456” are horrible passwords and that are trivial to crack.
Enable two factor authentication on your accounts!
Credit Monitoring
You can check your credit report for free once a year! Annual Credit Report provides copies from all three credit agencies. Children 13 and older can also request credit reports from here.
For children under 13, you need to go directly to each agency to request a report: Equifax, TransUnion, & Experian. And yes, children can also be victims of identity theft!
Resources:
https://money.usnews.com/credit-cards/articles/how-to-check-your-childs-credit-report
Impact of Technology
While our children’s lives will be shaped by technology in ways we can not fully predict, our role as parents and guardians remains that of guiding them in making smart choices. This task can seem daunting especially when we do not feel like subject matter experts.
Medical studies of screen time use going as far back as 1980 indicate that the strongest predictor of emotional and social problems associated with devices is how these screens are used more so than the time spent using them.
With the prevalence of digital devices and media these days, leading organizations such as the American Academy of Pediatrics and Common Sense Media are differentiating between the types of screen time. Passive screen time is consumption based and requires no engagement with the digital content. Active screen time on the other hand, involves cognitive thinking or physical engagement to advance through material.
Embracing the fact that technology is here to stay can be a pivotal first step in shifting a family’s experience as they navigate the internet and other digital spaces. There are opportunities to model continuous learning when kids' advanced knowledge of tech is leveraged by adults to advance their own digital literacy. Shared memories created during family activities either as an alternative to screen time ( family board games, hikes, walks) or during active screen time (video games, coding challenges and similar) create lasting family bonds that bolster kids self-esteem and sense of belonging.
Resources
American Academy of Pediatrics
Media Use Plan Tips for Families
How Virtual Violence Impacts Children
The Pew Research Center
Report on Parenting in the Age of Screens
Parents' View of their Kids Screen Time and Social Media Use During Covid-19
Common Sense Media
Collection of articles on screen time
Family Online Safety Institute;
Young Person’s Perspective on What Parents Should Know About Online Safety
Safewise; an independent review site on various topics including an internet safety guide for kids, as of April 2022, the state of Georgia has a Grade A rating for its online safety laws
Crowdsourced software recommendations; there’s more but this links directly to their section on Social Apps
Helpful hints
Letting your kid play with your phone? Turn off the wifi so they can’t Google something inappropriate
Youtube Kids is way more appropriate than Youtube.
I started reading real books and magazines so that my kids wouldn’t see me on the phone all the time.
Taking a trip? Post your pictures after you are back
Make sure your web sites are secure (https:), guard personal information (names, addresses, SSNs, etc.)
Top online threats for kids: cyberbullying, online predators, exposure to inappropriate content
Teach your kids that the Internet is forever (better for older kids, but best to start young)
Turn off screens 30-60 minutes before bedtime
Are there better screen options? I don’t mind my kids using the Switch if they are building in Minecraft or Animal Crossing
On average, kids ages 8-12 spend 4-6 hours a day on screens; recommended is two.
Keep devices out of bedrooms. Set up charging stations outside of bedrooms so kids have to surrender their devices for charging before going to bed.
Do not use your real name for user names, gaming handles, etc.