Summary: This chapter focuses on the pain Carine McCandless feels over her brother's death. They share lots of similarities (p. 128), including their looks. People often thought the two were twins (p. 128), not just brother and sister. She talks about their shared love of Buckley, the family dog (p. 128), who Chris wanted to take with him on his trip. She truly believes that Chris would've been more careful and would've taken less risks had he just taken Buck with him. Even though the two were very close (p. 129), Chris never contacts her during his trip so Carine is absolutely SHOCKED when her husband tells her that Chris is dead. Carine takes the loss (p. 132) hard, crying for days and losing more than 10 pounds in the months that followed. In a final act of love for her brother, Carine and her half-brother Sam go to Alaska to pick up Chris' ashes and possessions as his parents struggle to come to terms with his death.

Analysis: It's touching to read about the bond between brother and sister, as well as the siblings and their beloved dog. The love he lacked from his parents comes through in his relationship with Carine. Even in death, she stays loyal to him and never questions why he seemingly abandoned her. Her love is unconditional and shows how close the two of them were. It's impossible for me to read this chapter and not think about the bond I share with my own sister:-)

#Buckleyboy #familyties #asistersloss

Summary: To answer Billie McCandless' question at the end of Chapter 13 about why anyone would do what Chris did, Jon Krakauer flips the script and tells his own story of Alaska adventure. At the age of 23, Krakauer decides to head to the great north to find himself not by living in the wild, but by climbing the major mountains in the 49th state. He becomes obsessed with hiking Devil's Thumb, a very steep, challenging ascent on the glacier (p. 138) known as the Stikine Ice Cap. Like Chris, completing this climb becomes the only important thing in Krakauer's life. Chris obsessed over the bush, while Jon's obsession (p. 134) is this rare climbing achievement. Much like he anticipated, the ascent is dangerous and potentially deadly. Krakauer proceeds with caution during whiteout snow storms while crossing over delicate crevasses (p. 140) which could crack and send him tumbling down hundreds of feet. On a beautiful May day, Krakauer decides that this is it, he must summon the courage and concentration (p. 142) he needs to summit this peak today or else...Even with the warm temps and sunny day, the ice is impenetrable and Krakauer panics (p. 143). He can see the summit, but he can't reach it. His only option is down.

Analysis: Similar to Chapters 8 & 9, this chapter is meant to show readers that Chris isn't crazy. Many people, including our author, have followed their dreams despite the risk involved. Both men were running from something and chasing the joy that they think will fix them. I feel like Krakauer could've discussed women though, rather than himself. I'm sure women have gone to Alaska chasing their dreams and pushing themselves to the limit. Tell us one of their stories!!!

#JonKraktakestheL #whataboutheladies #thatclimbtho

Summary: So Krakauer makes it back to his tent, all butt hurt that he didn't achieve his goal of summiting Devil's Thumb. In a genius move, he decided to smoke a joint to make himself feel better since he's a bit depressed. Well, he ends up setting his tent on fire causing it to vaporize one of the walls so the temperature inside drops by 30 degrees or so. Good job, Jon! Anyway, this causes him to think about his reason for running away to climb: his volatile (p. 147) history with his father! They have a very similar relationship to Walt and Chris - dad is stubborn, treats his son poorly, pushes him away with his medical school expectations (p. 148) since he himself is a doctor. Yeah, I know: we've heard this story before. Jon uses these complicated (p. 147) family memories as motivation: he's going to attempt to summit the Thumb to prove his disbelieving dad wrong! He fixes his tent by packing it with snow and forges a plan to begin his final ascent on a slightly "easier" side of the mountain, the southeast side. At sunrise, he summons ALL of his courage and overcoming all of the terrifying (p. 150) obstacles, he finally makes it to the top - YAY! He enjoys the view for a minutes, snaps a few pics, and begins his descent. When he finally makes it off the mountain, he tells a few people what he did. They aren't extremely impressed. This makes Jon think about what he did and why he did it, causing him to say, "I thought climbing Devil's Thumb would fix all that was wrong with my life. In the end, of course, it changed almost nothing. But I came to appreciate that mountains make poor receptacles for dreams. And I lived to tell my tale" (p. 155). Years later when writing this book, he realizes that his hubris (p.155) pushed him to his limits to achieve his goal, but that the impact his possible death had on those who loved him would've been catastrophic. This is why he believes that Chris had NO intention to die in the wild, that he was only chasing his young, irresponsible dream.

Analysis: I wonder if Chris would've felt the same way as Jon did if he had lived. Would he look back now as a father or grandfather and think, "Why in the H-E-double hockey sticks did I run off into the woods by myself?" So many times as I read this book, I wonder what Chris would be like now. I wonder if he would've done more to change the world in a positive way through his beliefs and activism rather than just becoming an inspiration to some people who read this book?? Sadly, I'll never know...

#heDIDit #thatburnttenttho #hubriscankill

Summary: So upon finishing his own story, our author jumps back to the tale of CJM's odyssey (p. 157) to the great North! This chapter begins when Chris leaves Carthage for the final time in April 15, 1992. The first few pages detail his journey to meeting up with Jim Gallien just 13 days later outside of Fairbanks on April 28th. He hitchhiked his way through Canada before meeting up with a man named Gaylord Stuckey who was delivering an RV from Indiana to Fairbanks. He spends about two days with Stuckey, sharing his plans of living off the land in the wild. After a few days in Fairbanks doing research at the university and purchasing some trip supplies, Alex sticks out his thumb and Gallien picks him up just a bit outside of the University of Alaska, Fairbanks campus. After Gallien drops him off, Chris's whereabouts are only known through his journal entries. He followed the Teklanika River along the Stampede Trail, eventually finding the "magic bus" he later dies in on May 1st. The journal outlines McCandless's successes (shoots & eats lots of small game (p. 164), climbs some mountains, shoots a MOOSE (p. 166)!) and failures (he doesn't walk the 500 miles to his original destination of the tidewater, he turns around and parks it at the bus (p. 163), most of the moose goes to waste since he doesn't know what to do to keep the meat). After reading a passage from Tolstoy's Family Happiness that discusses that happiness must be shared with others to be real, Chris decides to pack it in on July 3rd and head back to civilization. When he arrives back at the Teklanika though, the snow melt has made the river impassable, the water is too deep and the current is too swift for him to cross. Depressed, isolated and alone (p. 163), Chris hoofs it back to the bus to wait for the high waters to subside so he can cross safely.

Analysis: It ALWAYS breaks my heart to read p. 170 which explains that had Chris walked a mile upstream, he could've easily crossed the Teklanika and made it safely back to civilization. I admire his desire to live without the watch, map, and other earthly possessions he gave Jim Gallien before heading down the trail, but DANG dude, take the map with you!!! That one tiny little mistake is easily the difference between life and death.

#myboyisstuck #nowonderhehateswater #getamapbro

Summary: In order to understand Chris' final days in the wild, Jon Krakauer and three companions, Roman Dial, Dan Solie and Andrew Liske, follow his footsteps down the Stampede Trail to the Magic Bus. Unlike Chris, these four have a map (p. 173)! They immediately find a cable car about 20 minutes away from where Chris tried to cross the river (p. 173) that he could've used to fly over the river with ease. IF ONLY HE WOULD HAVE HAD A MAP!!! Then the four traverse their way along the trail, seeing for themselves just how difficult it was to work their way through the bush to find the bus. In retracing his path, the men confirm that Chris, in fact, shot a moose and not a caribou as many Alaskans believed. When they arrive at the bus, the men search its interior where they find many of Chris' possessions: his jeans, a homemade belt he made when he got too skinny for those jeans, his nail clippers, his hiking boots. This freaks the men out, as they feel they are intruding on Chris' final resting place. They spend the night camping outside of the bus, as no one wants to sleep in it since Chris' death creates an eerie cloud of sadness in there. Talking around the fire about Chris, they analyze his need to take this spiritual quest (p. 184) and break down the boss moves he made as well as the gigantic mistakes (p. 185) that ultimately led to his demise. The men all agree that they see themselves in Chris and they respect (p. 181) his need for adventure.

Analysis: WHY wouldn't you take a map?!?!? I understand Chris' need to have the full, unfiltered Alaska experience, but maybe keep the map in your backpack or something? I will admit, his story has taught me many things about traveling. I am always prepared and aware of my surroundings. I always have a back up plan and I'm not afraid to adjust my itinerary to avoid any potential danger. Chris did inspire me to take my own Alaska adventure in 2018, and, for that, I am forever grateful:-)

#imnotsleepinginthatbus #theghostofCJM #ALWAYShaveamap

Summary: After failing to cross the Teklanika River, Chris arrives back at the Magic Bus on July 8th. He figures that he'll just bide his time until the river subsides. He returns to his usual existence of hunting, gathering, reading, etc. While reading Doctor Zhivago, Chris underlines several passages that all relate to note he wrote in the margin: "HAPPINESS IS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED." With this, we are led to believe that Chris wants to rejoin society and share his life with others. Unfortunately, Mother Nature has other plans. On July 30th, he writes an ominous entry in his journal that explains he is in bad shape: he's weak, starving and in great jeopardy (p. 189). This is where get things get a bit confusing. There are three possible explanations for his quick, dramatic decline that all involved poisoning (p. 191): 1. he grew so hungry that he ate seeds he brought with him from South Dakota that had grown mold and became poisonous 2. he ate poisoned potato seeds and 3. he confused his plants and ate sweet pea which is filled with toxins (p. 193). Well, it seems that Choice #3 is the culprit and because he is so emaciated (p. 199) already, his body doesn't have enough fat or energy to fight off the toxic side effect of eating the sweet pea plant. He becomes incapacitated and can no longer hunt or gather as much as he needs to in order to gain the necessary weight and energy to fight off the sweet peas' toxicity. And sadly, Krakauer describes a FULLY stocked cabin only three hours walk away that McCandless could've gone to IF he would've had a MAP! Starvation (p. 198) begins to set in which is an extremely painful way to die. This is when Chris posts the SOS note on the bus during the times he attempts to hunt and gather. And after a few weeks of difficult physical decline, Chris realizes that the end is near so he takes one last selfie holding a card with this message on it: "I HAVE HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND THANK THE LORD. GOODBYE AND MAY GOD BLESS ALL" (p. 199) Chris most likely passed away on August 19, 1992, 112 days after beginning his journey and only 19 days before the six people converge at the bus in early September.

Analysis: This chapter ALWAYS gets me. I've read this chapter at least 50 times in my life and it never fails to choke me up, even though I know what's coming. I love that he lived his dream, followed his heart and played the game of life by his own rules. But I find myself really angry that a simple map could've saved his life about ten different times! I admire what Chris did, and it just makes me so sad to think he died in such a painful, lonely way...

#RIPCJM #againwiththemap #liveyourlifeyourway

Summary: About ten months after Chris's death, Jon Krakauer accompanies Walt and Billie McCandless to the Magic Bus to visit their son's place of death. They originally planned to come by traveling the Stampede Trail like their son did, but plans change and they take a helicopter out into the wild instead. For three hours, the parents retrace their son's steps, visiting the Sushana River where he went daily for water, meandering through the flowers and brush that surround the bus. After working up the courage, the two enter the bus (p. 201) and see some Chris' possessions that are still there and find his messages scrawled on the wall. They install a memorial (p. 202) plaque and leave behind a suitcase full of first aid and survival supplies (p. 202) to help anyone else who seeks shelter in the bus. This visit (p. 201) brings closure for Walt and Billie who admire what Chris did but are perplexed by WHY he did what he did. The book ends with a somber vision of the parents flying away from the bus that grows smaller and smaller (p. 203) in the distance.

Analysis: I'm so torn on Walt and Billie. NO parent deserves to go through the pain of losing a child, but I hate that they refuse to accept that they played a key role in why he left in the first place. I don't hate Billie as much as I hate Walt, but it's close - LOL. I think the way Krakauer ends the book with the vision of the bus growing smaller as they fly away is so perfect. Death is final and our memories are fleeting, just like the image of the bus that slowly fades away....

#thebusisgonenow #CJMslegacyliveson #livelikeChris

I've read this book at least 10 times now, and I continue to have a love/hate view of our main man Chris. Here's my breakdown of Chris and his alter ego Alexander Supertramp. Positives: he lived life to the fullest, he didn't really care what others thought of him, he had a great impact on those he met along his journey, he wanted to challenge himself and was open to meeting and befriending people from all walks of life. Negatives: he was a bit overconfident in his abilities, he neglected to take key tools that could've saved his life, he cut off his sister who did NOTHING to hurt him, he was emotionally unavailable to people who wanted to connect with him, and he ran away from his problems rather than facing them.

If I had to choose one one stating exactly how I feel about Chris, I would use the word respect. Growing up the daughter of a hunter, I know how difficult it is to do what he did successfully for over 100 days in the wild. I could NEVER survive for four months on only what I hunted and gathered. I'd be calling for a rescue about three days in...and I'm someone who grew up hiking, camping, and exploring like Chris did. He HUSTLED during those two years on the road to survive and overcome obstacles, so I respect that, too. Is the man perfect? NO, but no one is. While I wish he would've done things slightly differently, I fully respect what he was trying to achieve and what he actually did accomplish. I wish he would've live to tell his story and so I could've seen what he chose to do with his life after his great Alaska adventure. Because he died so young and so mysteriously, it makes his legend and legacy have a staying power. He's like the Biggie or TuPac of the wilderness...

#respect #deadbutnevergone #intothewild