When people hear about sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape, they usually think of something violent happening to a woman in a dark alley in the middle of the night. But this isn’t necessarily the case every time someone experiences sexual trauma.

Anytime you don’t want something to happen but someone else makes it happen anyway, that person violated your consent. Your consent being violated includes any sexual act that someone does to you without your consent. This includes attention, kissing, touching, non-penetrative sex, or penetrative sex. The situation does not have to be violent for your consent to have been violated. And scarily enough, most violations of consent are not strangers in dark alleyways, but often it’s someone the victim knows (romantic partner, friend, etc.). Definitions vary by state on the exact characteristics of sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape, however all consist of a person’s consent being violated.

Anyone can be a victim of sexual harassment, sexual assault, or rape, no matter their gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, or age. While anyone could fall victim to these experiences, certain groups are more likely to experience sexual assault in their lives: particularly women (especially women of color), members of the LGBT community, and people with developmental disabilities.

The issue of consent on college campuses has been a hot topic for a few decades as incidents of sexual harassment and sexual assault in higher institutions have risen exponentially. A shocking statistic revealed that 1 in 5 students on college campuses have been victims of nonconsensual contact or sexual assault during their college career, and even though this statistic has been contested, other surveys show that the findings might not be far off. The astronomical rate of nonconsensual contact on college campuses might be attributed to lack of sex education during high school and lack of information coming from colleges and universities. Despite the Title IX office at many colleges and universities offering support, many students still feel unprepared for what consent really is, how to practice it, and what to do if someone violates their consent.

According to Murphie Chappell, the Title IX Coordinator at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, she believes that the elevated statistics are not because sexual harassment is happening more, but instead because students are just reporting it more. She believes the elevated number of students reporting means a shift in culture has occurred: more people are confident in coming forward and reporting than ever before. Chappell said most people who were reported were not malicious sociopaths, but students who simply didn’t understand the many ways consent could (not) be communicated in real life. The elevated levels of reporting gives way to more opportunities to not only understand the failings of consent education, but also to re-educate the masses about the importance and practical applications of consent in their lives.

Consent is important to create a sense of safety and security in vulnerable situations, ensure that everyone has a good time, and to make sure the experience is based on respect instead of selfish desires. Whether a short-term or long-term relationship, gaining consent before engaging in sexual activities is essential to making sure the encounter is pleasurable instead of traumatizing. Without consent, sexual assault and rape would happen even more than they do now (for reference, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men in the United States experience sexual violence in their lifetime). Imagine how many people would experience nonconsensual touching and sexual assault if consent wasn’t emphasized and taught! Consent is essential to ensure that respect and empathy are imbued in every sexual encounter. The point of non-sexual consent is much of the same. Respecting others and their boundaries, no matter what type of relationship you share, is important in creating healthy friendships and relationships that are non-toxic to everyone involved.