As stated in our Educational Project, empathy is defined as the “Cognitive and emotional ability and skill to put oneself in another person’s place, seeking to understand what the other person feels. This is related to the capacity to help, to care for others, and to act with altruism, which translates into a fairer way of thinking, acting, and showing solidarity. In this way, it helps create a better environment by fostering healthier, more balanced, and more positive relationships with others.”
We all want our children to be happy, caring, and good people, but how can we teach them empathy?
Recognising Emotions
Before children can feel with others, they need to interpret nonverbal cues in facial expressions, gestures, voice tone, and posture. This is what we call emotional literacy. What can parents do?
Label emotions: just by naming them (“You’re happy!” or “Looks like you are frustrated”) you’ll help your child develop an emotional vocabulary.
Ask questions: Help your child recognise that all feelings are normal (“Are you worried/scared?” “How did that make you feel?”)
Share feelings in a safe way: you can share your own emotions and model how you feel.
Notice others: Do the exercise of trying to read body language and faces while walking, at the park, or watching TV.
We are all grateful for technology and the amazing things it allows us to achieve. But, as we all know, it has its downside. Digital children are losing face-to-face connection; it is much easier to talk to a screen rather than face-to-face. Every text, swipe, or tap reduces their ability to read each other’s emotions, among other things. As adults, we need to help children connect in real life.
Here are some ideas:
Set digital limits: not only for children, but also for grown-ups! Dinner time, family gatherings, and bed can be no technology zones. Make sure you create connections.
Get on board with other parents: look for agreements, find out about what they do in their homes, if playtime includes screens, and make decisions.
Encourage “real time” peer relationships: rather than playing online, organise playdates, sports activities, board games dates, or any other idea that comes to mind. As a family, you can go camping, enjoy parks, or take a walk at the beach.
“Put Yourself in Somebody Else’s Shoes”
Perspective-taking is the cognitive aspect of empathy that allows us to step outside our own viewpoint and grasp other people’s feelings, thoughts, and intentions. Children begin to understand other points of view around the end of preschool. We are more likely to empathise with those who are “like us”, and that’s why we should try to expand our children’s comfort zone and make it as diverse as possible. We should help them step into the shoes of those who are not like us.
Seeing the other person’s side can definitely help children develop empathy.
Some ideas you can use, depending on the age group:
Use stories, books, or podcasts
Switch roles or use role playing: “Pretend to be James. What do you think he would say or do?”
Use puppets or props
Use a chair/sofa: “Sit there. Pretend you are Sam. How do you think she feels?”
Step into somebody else’s mind: “Think how Adele would feel if it were the other way round”
Conversation Starters
“When a friend is sad, how can we tell, and what could we do to help?”
“Have you ever felt left out? What helped, or what would have helped?”
“If you were new at school, what would you hope other kids would do for you?”
“How do you think our pet (or a younger sibling) feels when we include them in games?”
Interesting TEDEd Educator Talks to watch:
Resources to read and listen to:
Borba, M. (2022). Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine. Penguin Publishing Group.
Covey, S. R. (2020). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: 30th Anniversary Edition. Simon & Schuster.
EMPATHY Definition & Meaning. (2025, October 25). Merriam-Webster. Retrieved October 28, 2025, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/empathy
Kidd, D., & Castano, E. (2013). Reading Literary Fiction Improves Theory of Mind. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/257349728_Reading_Literary_Fiction_Improves_Theory_of_Mind
Mongrain, M. (2025, August 6). (PDF) Practicing Compassion Increases Happiness and Self-Esteem. ResearchGate. Retrieved October 16, 2025, from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/225312710_Practicing_Compassion_Increases_Happiness_and_Self-Esteem
Parents' Use of Inductive Discipline: Relations to Children's Empathy and Prosocial Behavior. (n.d.). 67(6). https://www.jstor.org/stable/1131778?origin=crossref
Schumann, K., Zaki, J., & Dweck, C. S. (2014). Addressing the Empathy Deficit: Beliefs About the Malleability of Empathy Predict Effortful Responses When Empathy Is Challenging. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. (107), 475-493.
Support Provision in Marriage: The Role of Emotional Similarity and Empathic Accuracy. (2008). Research Gate. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/23684270_Support_provision_in_marriage_The_role_of_emotional_similarity_and_empathic_Accuracy