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Have you ever wondered what is typical for your child's age? Here are some of my favorite places to find more information about what we should expect as our children grow & signs to look for to know we should ask for advice.Ā
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from, or overcome, a challenge. Our resilience is impacted by the thoughts that we have about events in our lives, and in turn our thoughts influence our reactions. So, how do we promote resilience when every day is part of an āeventā? Here are some ideas:
Teach our children to use self-talk about their thoughts and feelings
Model how we think through "events"
Have them try journaling, alone or with you
Talk about what advice you would give to a friend who's in the same situation
Still not sure? Check out some of the resources below!
Did you know that recent studies have found links between gratitude and happiness? Explore these resources below for ideas of how to grow gratitude year-round!
Have you ever heard your child say they'll "never" get something right? Or they "always" mess up? Or do you see them give up or feel down when things don't turn out just right? These are some of the things our kids say when they're feeling like they have to be perfect at something. To learn how to accept a perceived failure and to move forward from their mistakes, we need to practice our resilience skills and shift our thinking to a growth mindset! For resources to start the conversation, check out the read-alouds and linked resources below!
Challenging Behavior is a super broad term that includes literally any behavior that is difficult to manage- crying/tantrums, arguing, not following directions, physical behaviors like hitting, and SO much more. Explore this section for ideas (note that the section continues through Understanding Big Feelings, Self Regulation, and Co-Regulation), and please don't hesitate to ask for advice!
Helping children to understand big feelings in others can be a difficult conversation. Here are some tips to get started:Ā
Make time to talk. Let childrenās questions be your guide.
Ask your child their thoughts about big feelings and let them talk about how it makes them feel. Validate your child's feelings.
Reassure them that adults are always there to help big feelings.
Consider reading a book together such as The Boy with Big, Big, FeelingsĀ
Did you know that Self Regulation includes 4 different skills? Not only is it about managing your emotions (like this section will give you resources for), but it also includes flexible attention, working memory, and inhibitory control. Learn more about executive functions further down in my site!
Co-regulation is a mutual act, an exchange of calm that occurs between two people. But when it comes to adults (who have acquired the cognitive tools to manage their emotions) and children, co-regulation also means helping a child learn how to regulate their own emotions by showing empathy and modeling calmness. Co-regulation does not mean pretending to exist in a state of calm all the time or never getting angry. It means actively managing your own emotions to help kids learn to manage theirs.Ā
-ChildMind.Org (see more at "What is Co-Regulation" below)
Teasing isn't always bullying? Ignoring bullying won't make it go away? Bullying doesn't make kids tougher?Ā
Find the answers to those questions and more at the links below!
Worries, fears, and anxiety are all common occurrences! Anxiety can be a normal reaction to stressful situations, but how do we know when it's happening more than normal and how to help our children? Contacting your child's school mental health professional for more information is a good first step! Below are some of the signs to watch for and resources to help guide you through helping your child.Ā
Here are some of the most common signs that a child might be experiencing anxiety (from ChildMind.org):
Worrying a lot: Kids with anxiety feel worry or fear that is out of proportion to what theyāre actually experiencing. These worries donāt go away over time and get in the way of kidsā normal lives. Some kids get anxious only in response to specific things, while others worry a lot in general.
Physical symptoms: Headaches, stomachaches, sweating and racing heart can all be signs of anxiety.
Avoiding certain situations: Depending on what makes them anxious, kids might avoid things that other kids enjoy or are comfortable doing. For example, kids with social anxiety might avoid playing with other kids or ask to stay home from school.
Difficulty concentrating: Anxious thoughts can distract kids from schoolwork and other tasks.
Trouble sleeping: Worrying can interfere with kidsā sleep.
Disruptive behavior: Kids with anxiety sometimes lash out or act aggressive when they are overwhelmed by uncomfortable feelings.
Clinging to parents or caregivers: Children with anxiety may have trouble separating from their parents, and need lots of reassurance.
Being hard on themselves: Some anxious kids worry a lot about failing or looking bad in front of other people. They might have low self-esteem or say mean things about themselves.
If you think the Step Ladder Approach could work for your child, please reach out to Ms. Salli for help getting started!
"Meet Hattie Harmony, Worry Detective. She always finds the perfect tools to calm her friendsā bodies and minds. But when her own fears start to bubble up, can Hattie learn to overcome them herself?"
Since the pandemic started, many of our families have spent significantly more time at home together than usual. Because of this, when we need to be apart for school, for work, or even just a quick errand, separation anxiety has become more common for everyone. Kids, adults, and even our pets are having difficulty separating from loved ones. For more information and advice, check out the links below!
School-related avoidance, which is sometimes called school refusal, is when a student avoids (or tries to avoid) school. It's often related to school-related anxiety, based on a student's perceptions about something related to school (i.e. friendships, separation from parents, the difficulty level of school-work, etc.). Before the global pandemic, it was estimated that 5% of students nationwide experienced some form of school avoidance. Here's what to watch for according to understood.org:
Does your child worry about school during down time or on weekends?
Is your child having tantrums or meltdowns about going to school or doing schoolwork?
Does your child say they canāt do it because of physical complaints like stomachaches, headaches, dizziness, or just ānot feeling goodā?
Does your child refuse to get dressed or do other parts of the morning routine, knowing it will make it hard to get out the door?
If you've noticed any of these things, reach out to your child's teacher, principal, or a mental health provider such as the School Psychologist or School Social Worker. For more information, check out these resources on the right!
School drop-off can be tough for a lot of our students! This video gives you ideas for how to navigate those tricky times.Ā
Being nervous before a test happens all the time! But, how do we know when it is "Test Anxiety"?Ā And how do we help our kids when they are nervous about a test (or quiz, or even a big project or presentation!)?
Check out these resources for more information about what test anxiety is & how to help your student.Ā
*Hint: You can find ideas for mindfulness, positive self-talk, and other kinds of self care to use before a test here on my website!
Feeling stressed and anxious is pretty normal given our current situation. Itās important that we continue to take care of ourselves and that our kids learn coping skills to take care of themselves too! Find tips at the links below:
Did you know that just 30 minutes of outside time a day might help improve anxiety and mood for some people? The articles below will give you more information on why spending time outside (while following safety guidelines during this pandemic) is important for kids!
Choosing if and when to limit our children's screen usage can be tricky! What works for one kid or family won't necessarily work for others. Exploring this section will show you a variety of tips and suggestions for making these tough parenting decisions.
Difficulty at bedtime is something that a lot of grown-ups face when raising kids. What do we do to make things easier? Check out some tips below, including an article on Healthy Sleep Habits from AAP that shares tips about when you should ask for help & who you could ask.Ā
*These tips are a resource & are not a replacement for seeking advice from a mental health or medical professional
Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is āa persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivityāimpulsivity that interferes with functioning or development.āĀ
There are 3 types of ADHD: Predominantly Inattentive Presentation (formerly ADD), Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Presentation, and Combined Presentation.Ā
It's important to know that not everyone who is inattentive, hyperactive, or impulsive has ADHD! Other conditions or life experiences can cause these symptoms.Ā
ADHD impacts a person's Executive Functions (see section below), but again, not all people who have difficulty with Executive Functioning have ADHD!
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that for all children in preschool and kindergarten behavioral intervention should be the first thing implemented for students with attention or hyperactivity/impulsivity difficulties. Two of these interventions are Token Economies (see Managing Challenging Behavior section above) and Self Monitoring.Ā
A "diagnosis" of ADHD should only be made by a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist, psychologist, pediatrician, or other appropriately qualified healthcare professional who has training and expertise in the diagnosis of ADHD and other mental health conditions.
At school, your School Psychologist is qualified to "identify" behavioral symptoms of ADHD and determine if they are impacting a student's education. They can help you to develop accommodations, interventions, or other plans that might help the student succeed in school. Just like the AAP recommends, behavioral intervention should be the first step!Ā
Explore the resources here (including the clickable images) and feel free to ask your child's school for advice!
Executive Functions are skills such as:Ā
Regulating emotions & behaviors
Planning & prioritization
Organization
Paying attention
Shifting between two tasks or ideas
Self-monitoring
For more information:
Click on the picture to the left to read a post from Pathway to SuccessĀ
Check out this cool E-Book from the National Center for Learning Disabilities below!Ā
The books & guides linked below give ideas, strategies, and games that will help you to support your child's executive functioning.
Try a strategy for supporting Executive Functioning during tasks like homework or chores! (video above)
A common question weāve heard lately is about how we keep our students motivated to learn at home? Thereās no answer that will work for everyone, but here are some ideas to try!
Provide choices (I.e. where to sit, what color to use)
Encourage students to explore topics they're interested in
Make work feel like a gameĀ
Break down work into smaller steps
Follow a daily routine
Make a plan for learning together
Try a visual timer
Take brain breaks
Save the more engaging work for last
Ask your child's teacher or Ms. Salli for other ideas
Check out the articles below!
Organizing and coordinating a move can be stressful! Whether your going to a a new city, state, or just a new house, here are some tips for helping your child prepare and adjust.
I'm a big fan of Sesame Street's Resources for stressful times in our everyday lives & their website is full of resources to help parents navigate current events!