Holiday Caroling for Tenant Justice

Thursday, December 16, 2021

5:00 - 6:00 pm

12-14 East 72nd Street, New York, NY 10021

Thank you for joining the Stop Croman Coalition during this evening of holiday caroling for tenant justice, including tenant speakouts outside of Steven and Harriet Croman’s Upper East Side Mansion. Through songs and speeches, tenants will shed light on the continued harassment carried out by Steven Croman and his property managers. Tenants are urging elected officials, city agencies, and the Attorney General to take action to ensure that tenants are able to live in their homes safely and without fear.

COVID-19 Safety Precautions

We ask all attendees to remain masked and keep a safe social distance from other attendees during this action, in order to curb the spread of COVID-19. We also encourage everyone to get tested for COVID-19 within a few days after the action, especially if you plan on being with your loved ones for the holiday season.

Program Schedule

Introduction

Carols:

“Stop Croman Coalition is Around” (audience encouraged to sing along)

Skit: “You’re A Demon, Mr. Croman” (performed by the spirit of Philly Abe)

Tenant speeches

Carols (audience encouraged to sing along):

(I’m Dreaming of A) Warm Christmas

Statement from elected officials

New York State Senator Brad Hoylman (Senate District 27)

Tenant carols (audience encouraged to sing along):

12 Days of Croman

Croman, Croman, Croman

Demands and moment of remembrance

Closing carol (audience encouraged to sing along):

Feliz Navidad

Final remarks

Carols

“Stop Croman Coalition is Around”

(Sung to the tune of “Santa Claus is coming to town”)

You better watch out,

don’t freak us all out,

don’t make us all shout,

Beware the fallout!

Stop Croman Coalition is around.

We’re making our lists, checking them twice,

gonna find out the dirt and your lies,

Stop Croman Coalition is around.

We see you when you’re creeping,

We know you’re on the take,

We know your threats and ploys and schemes,

Your kingdom we’ll overtake.

Oh, you better watch out,

You evil old lout,

Two horns you will sprout,

For that there’s no doubt,

Stop Croman Coalition is around.

You better watch out!

“You’re a Demon, Mr. Croman”

Performed by Doris as the Spirit of Philly Abe

(Sung to the tune of “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch”)

You’re a demon, Mr. Croman

You are a devil from Hell

You’re the Bernie Madoff of landlords,

and a slumlord as well, Mr. Croman...

No one should take pity

On the worst landlord in the City

You’re pure evil, Mr. Croman!

Your heart’s an empty hole.

Your hands are stained with your tenant's blood

You were born without a soul,

Mr. Croman....

Your tenants wouldn’t touch you

Unless to dump you in a six-foot hole!

You’re a sociopath, Mr. Croman!

You really are depraved.

You're a deplorable psycho,

Who needs to be saved,

Mr. Croman!

The three words that best describe you

Are as follows, and I quote:

"Greedy, sociopathic and depraved."

You nauseate us, Steve & Harriet Croman!

Your tenants despise you

You’re the slimiest people on the planet

And the scummiest and greediest too...

Steve and Harriet Croman...

You are a cancer on society

with new depths of depravity.

You belong back in jail

This time without bail

At Rikers, instead of the Tombs

No more slaps on the wrist for you

Steve Croman...

So you cannot function another day...

May they revoke your license and

Take all your buildings away.

A place in hell awaits you

but even hell won't do

For tormenting your tenants

and making them homeless too.

Steve and Harriet Croman,

and that includes your Uber Turd Son,

Jake Croman, too.

But Dear Cromans:

No need to worry,

Your lawyers will be there with you

Mitch Kossoff, Putz and Toad Rose

and Darth Haberman too.

Steve and Harriet Croman,

And let's not forget your infamous crew

Annabelle, Lizard,

Falconite, Oren and Yow.....

But even the lowest bowels of hell

are too good for all of you.

(I'm Dreaming Of A) Warm Christmas

(Sung to the tune of “White Christmas”)

I'm dreaming of a warm Christmas

just like the ones I use to know

We had heat and hot water

And all the things we oughta

Before Steve Croman came along

I'm dreaming of a warm Christmas

with every sweater I put on

With steam pipes hissing

and mistletoe kissing

Before Steve Croman came along

I'm dreaming of a warm Christmas

with every card I try to write

with no lights for looking

and no gas for cooking

since Steve Croman came along.

I'm fearing of a dark Christmas

When Con Ed comes to shut the lights

For the bills he ain't paying

and the tenants praying

he doesn't leave us in the dark.

I'm dreaming of a warm Christmas

with every layer I put on

may our days be toasty and warm,

on that day Steve and Harriet are gone.

12 Days of Croman

(Sung to the tune of “12 Days of Christmas”)

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Steve Croman gave to me:

Scurrying mice and roaches

Warehoused apartments

Fraud and mounting debt

Construction noise disruptions

Menacing Falconite

Illegal Apartment entries

Fake Deregulation

No heat or hot water

Harriet’s harassing calls

Leaking pipes and ceilings

2 returned rent checks

An eviction notice sent illegally!

Croman, Croman, Croman

(Sung to the tune of Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel)

My landlord is Steve Croman

He's hard at work each day

conspiring with Rose and Rose

to take my house away.

Oh Croman, Croman, Croman

If the law worked like it should

you couldn't get away with it

they would lock you up for good

(KAZOO VERSE)

My landlord is Steve Croman

He spins lies out of thin air

as long as he can throw you out

he really doesn't care.

Oh Croman, Croman, Croman

your legs are short and thin

and when we all stand up to you

a criminal won't win.

Sung to the tune of “Feliz Navidad”

Feliz Navidad,

Próspero año y felicidad.

(Repeat again)

We could all have a merry Christmas,

If the Cromans had a heart.

(Repeat again)

Feliz Navidad,

Próspero año y felicidad.

(Repeat again)

We could all have a merry Christmas,

If we tear Croman’s empire apart.

(Repeat again)

Feliz Navidad,

Próspero año y felicidad.

(Repeat again)

We could all have a merry Christmas,

if the Cromans would depart.

(Repeat again)

Demands

We need the support of elected officials to help us compel Croman, HPD, and ConEdison, to speed up the process of restoring gas in Croman’s buildings, as we continue to work towards reforming gas restoration laws to better protect tenants as they were intended to, rather than what is happening now, where tenants are stuck with a hot plate and little to no abatement for months or years.

We must continue to build the political will to make NYC's housing market untenable for predatory landlords like Steven Croman. We support the continued momentum of pro-tenant legislation like The Housing Stability and Tenant Protection Act of 2019, and Good Cause and the Tenant Opportunity to Purchase Act on the docket for 2022, in order to reform and expand the power of HPD, DOB, and the Attorney General to truly hold landlords like Steven and Harriet Croman accountable.