Thursday, December 16, 2021
5:00 - 6:00 pm
12-14 East 72nd Street, New York, NY 10021
Thank you for joining the Stop Croman Coalition during this evening of holiday caroling for tenant justice, including tenant speakouts outside of Steven and Harriet Croman’s Upper East Side Mansion. Through songs and speeches, tenants will shed light on the continued harassment carried out by Steven Croman and his property managers. Tenants are urging elected officials, city agencies, and the Attorney General to take action to ensure that tenants are able to live in their homes safely and without fear.
We ask all attendees to remain masked and keep a safe social distance from other attendees during this action, in order to curb the spread of COVID-19. We also encourage everyone to get tested for COVID-19 within a few days after the action, especially if you plan on being with your loved ones for the holiday season.
Introduction
Carols:
“Stop Croman Coalition is Around” (audience encouraged to sing along)
Skit: “You’re A Demon, Mr. Croman” (performed by the spirit of Philly Abe)
Tenant speeches
Carols (audience encouraged to sing along):
(I’m Dreaming of A) Warm Christmas
Statement from elected officials
New York State Senator Brad Hoylman (Senate District 27)
Tenant carols (audience encouraged to sing along):
12 Days of Croman
Croman, Croman, Croman
Demands and moment of remembrance
Closing carol (audience encouraged to sing along):
Feliz Navidad
Final remarks
“Stop Croman Coalition is Around”
(Sung to the tune of “Santa Claus is coming to town”)
You better watch out,
don’t freak us all out,
don’t make us all shout,
Beware the fallout!
Stop Croman Coalition is around.
We’re making our lists, checking them twice,
gonna find out the dirt and your lies,
Stop Croman Coalition is around.
We see you when you’re creeping,
We know you’re on the take,
We know your threats and ploys and schemes,
Your kingdom we’ll overtake.
Oh, you better watch out,
You evil old lout,
Two horns you will sprout,
For that there’s no doubt,
Stop Croman Coalition is around.
You better watch out!
“You’re a Demon, Mr. Croman”
Performed by Doris as the Spirit of Philly Abe
(Sung to the tune of “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch”)
You’re a demon, Mr. Croman
You are a devil from Hell
You’re the Bernie Madoff of landlords,
and a slumlord as well, Mr. Croman...
No one should take pity
On the worst landlord in the City
You’re pure evil, Mr. Croman!
Your heart’s an empty hole.
Your hands are stained with your tenant's blood
You were born without a soul,
Mr. Croman....
Your tenants wouldn’t touch you
Unless to dump you in a six-foot hole!
You’re a sociopath, Mr. Croman!
You really are depraved.
You're a deplorable psycho,
Who needs to be saved,
Mr. Croman!
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote:
"Greedy, sociopathic and depraved."
You nauseate us, Steve & Harriet Croman!
Your tenants despise you
You’re the slimiest people on the planet
And the scummiest and greediest too...
Steve and Harriet Croman...
You are a cancer on society
with new depths of depravity.
You belong back in jail
This time without bail
At Rikers, instead of the Tombs
No more slaps on the wrist for you
Steve Croman...
So you cannot function another day...
May they revoke your license and
Take all your buildings away.
A place in hell awaits you
but even hell won't do
For tormenting your tenants
and making them homeless too.
Steve and Harriet Croman,
and that includes your Uber Turd Son,
Jake Croman, too.
But Dear Cromans:
No need to worry,
Your lawyers will be there with you
Mitch Kossoff, Putz and Toad Rose
and Darth Haberman too.
Steve and Harriet Croman,
And let's not forget your infamous crew
Annabelle, Lizard,
Falconite, Oren and Yow.....
But even the lowest bowels of hell
are too good for all of you.
(I'm Dreaming Of A) Warm Christmas
(Sung to the tune of “White Christmas”)
I'm dreaming of a warm Christmas
just like the ones I use to know
We had heat and hot water
And all the things we oughta
Before Steve Croman came along
I'm dreaming of a warm Christmas
with every sweater I put on
With steam pipes hissing
and mistletoe kissing
Before Steve Croman came along
I'm dreaming of a warm Christmas
with every card I try to write
with no lights for looking
and no gas for cooking
since Steve Croman came along.
I'm fearing of a dark Christmas
When Con Ed comes to shut the lights
For the bills he ain't paying
and the tenants praying
he doesn't leave us in the dark.
I'm dreaming of a warm Christmas
with every layer I put on
may our days be toasty and warm,
on that day Steve and Harriet are gone.
12 Days of Croman
(Sung to the tune of “12 Days of Christmas”)
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Steve Croman gave to me:
Scurrying mice and roaches
Warehoused apartments
Fraud and mounting debt
Construction noise disruptions
Menacing Falconite
Illegal Apartment entries
Fake Deregulation
No heat or hot water
Harriet’s harassing calls
Leaking pipes and ceilings
2 returned rent checks
An eviction notice sent illegally!
Croman, Croman, Croman
(Sung to the tune of Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel)
My landlord is Steve Croman
He's hard at work each day
conspiring with Rose and Rose
to take my house away.
Oh Croman, Croman, Croman
If the law worked like it should
you couldn't get away with it
they would lock you up for good
(KAZOO VERSE)
My landlord is Steve Croman
He spins lies out of thin air
as long as he can throw you out
he really doesn't care.
Oh Croman, Croman, Croman
your legs are short and thin
and when we all stand up to you
a criminal won't win.
Sung to the tune of “Feliz Navidad”
Feliz Navidad,
Feliz Navidad,
Feliz Navidad,
Próspero año y felicidad.
(Repeat again)
We could all have a merry Christmas,
We could all have a merry Christmas,
We could all have a merry Christmas,
If the Cromans had a heart.
(Repeat again)
Feliz Navidad,
Feliz Navidad,
Feliz Navidad,
Próspero año y felicidad.
(Repeat again)
We could all have a merry Christmas,
We could all have a merry Christmas,
We could all have a merry Christmas,
If we tear Croman’s empire apart.
(Repeat again)
Feliz Navidad,
Feliz Navidad,
Feliz Navidad,
Próspero año y felicidad.
(Repeat again)
We could all have a merry Christmas,
We could all have a merry Christmas,
We could all have a merry Christmas,
if the Cromans would depart.
(Repeat again)
We need the support of elected officials to help us compel Croman, HPD, and ConEdison, to speed up the process of restoring gas in Croman’s buildings, as we continue to work towards reforming gas restoration laws to better protect tenants as they were intended to, rather than what is happening now, where tenants are stuck with a hot plate and little to no abatement for months or years.
We must continue to build the political will to make NYC's housing market untenable for predatory landlords like Steven Croman. We support the continued momentum of pro-tenant legislation like The Housing Stability and Tenant Protection Act of 2019, and Good Cause and the Tenant Opportunity to Purchase Act on the docket for 2022, in order to reform and expand the power of HPD, DOB, and the Attorney General to truly hold landlords like Steven and Harriet Croman accountable.