Make ¢ents Making Sense

The Lyri¢s

I make cents making sense.

I make sense to make cents.

I make sense making cents.

I make cents to make sense.

I’m making the cents making the sense,

Making the sense making the cents.

You sing a song of sixpence,

The king counting I represent.

I been in the game twenty years, I swing a hundred-hundred G.

I got like thirty-three thousand pupils all peering up at me.

(Eight figures, yo. Seven zeroes, ho.)

I been in the game twenty years, I stack a hundred-hundred K.

I got a library card for faculty with extended due dates.

(Per annum in Latin, el duderino)

I got that Cadillac coverage, nominal O-CAP in overage—

A contract relic from long ago— (aye)

Yearly vision screening, bi-annual dental cleaning,

Elect HMO or PPO, (yeah)

Full mental health service for when I’m bent out and nervous,

It’s ten large for a physical;

I got chiropractic care, acupuncture, and acupressure

All for a co-pay that’s reasonable.

The legislature wagered educators labor later

If they’re tenured after 2013.

But I signed on in ’07, egress at full pension

Upon the age of sixty, guaranteed.

I got a taxpayer matched CalSTRS purse

Maturing to assure security:

Eighty percent in perpetuity—

Close the gap with a phat 403b.

I been in the game twenty years, I pull a hundred-hundred G.

I got headlights to drive Doctorow dark riding shotgun with Annie.

(If you can peg that one, you’re a dork. If you can’t, get to work)

I been in the game hundred years, get paid a hundred-hundred K.

I got like fourteen thesauruses all up inside my brain.

A sucker once came up to me.

He’s all, “A hundred-hundred G?”

I’m like, “Yep.”

“You’re saying that’s yearly?”

I’m like, “Bet.”

“Just to teach?”

“Rep the set.”

He’s all, “Huh, would you imagine that?

Ten million dollars, you could retire on that…”

I’m like, “What? You must be tripping.”

Teacher, please!

(Teacher, please!)

I make cents making sense.

I make sense to make cents.

I make cents making sense.

I make sense to make cents.

I’m making the cents making the sense,

Making the sense making the cents.

Insert here a Talking Heads reference,

Then henceforth I stop making cents.