Counselor Corner

This is the place to see all things happening in the world of Silver Lake School Counseling. Any information, newsletters, parent trainings, etc. will be here.


October 4, 2022

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Bullying is a prevalent topic at schools and is taken very seriously. What is bullying? According to stopbullying.gov, bullying is...

"unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time."

When we look at an incident to see if it is bullying or not, we look for two things. Is there an imbalance of power and is the behavior repeated?

"In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:

  • An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.

  • Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once."

In October, I do a lesson called Bully Bugs. In it, we discuss the difference between "bully" and "bother bugs". Typically students are "bother bugs." We think of these as comparable to flies, gnats, or mosquitos. I give the analogy that if these bugs were out flying around the slide, you would still go down the slide. You would swat them from your face and they would get on your nerves, they might even bite you, but you wouldn't be afraid to go down the slide. However, if there were bees, hornets, scorpions, or spiders (aka bully bugs) on the slide, not only would you not want to go down the slide, but you wouldn't even want to get near it. That is the POWER that a "bully bug" has that a "bother bug" does not. The "bother bug" will get on your nerves but the "bully bug" will actually make you CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR to stay away from them. When we are looking into bullying, we look through this lens. Is the target actually afraid of the other child? Do they try to avoid this other person? Are they afraid to come to school or participate at school the way they did before? Or, is this a fight among friends? Is this bad behavior in the classroom that is annoying/problematic?

This is not to say that "bother bugs" are tolerated. Just like the real bother bugs, we do all we can to prevent them from disrupting and causing problems. We work with those students to help them understand how their behavior affects others and they are given consequences for their behavior. It is important though that we make the distinction between a "bother bug" and a "bully bug". Once labeled a bully, it follows a student throughout their school career. Documentation goes into their Skyward and is with them for good. If a student is deemed a bully, they can end up with serious consequences that can affect the trajectory of their school path.

When your child comes home telling you about something that happened in class and you are worried they are being bullied, ask them these questions.

  1. What was happening during the incident?

  2. What were you doing? (You would be surprised how many times things happen because students are micromanaging each other. In their quest to be a good friend, they become a little bossy. If that happens, we remind them that while we appreciate them watching out for others in their class, their first job is to worry about themselves and make sure they are doing what they are supposed to be doing and that the teacher will worry about what others are doing.)

  3. Do you think they did this on purpose or on accident?

  4. Do you still want to be friends with this person? / Do you feel afraid of this person?

If your child is being bothered, let your child's teacher know and they can work with you and your child to help alleviate the problem. If your child is being bullied, let your child's teacher know and they will pass it onto me and the AP, and then we will do a bullying investigation. The investigation involves talking with both parties involved, along with anyone else that might have witnessed the situation.

At Silver Lake, we work hard to make sure that all students feel safe when they are at school. Helping students work through peer conflicts, helping them learn to be assertive, and teaching them the difference between a bully and a bother bug are all part of that!


August 19, 2021

Does your child come home from school cranky or tired? Are they kind of snippy with you when you ask them questions after school? This irritable behavior could be due to behavior fatigue. Behavior fatigue happens when you have held it together and been on your best behavior all day, and now you are tired and can't do it anymore. We as adults experience behavior fatigue when we are at work all day. We have to keep it together, and by the time we get home, we are tired and a bit irritable. When we are experiencing this, most of us like to sit on the couch and watch tv, cook, exercise, or do anything that grounds and calms us. This is the same for your child! They have held it together at school all day, and they have been learning, navigating new social situations, and participating in stuff that is very different than what they are used to at home. By the time that they get home to you, they may be worn out and need what we called a "soft landing." A soft landing is a chance to acclimate and reset slowly. This will look different based on your child, but some things they can do are

-watch tv

-have quiet time in their room

-draw

-play outside

-take a nap


Children need time to be calm and relax, especially kids who also participate in extracurricular activities. We know as adults that when we are going, going, going, we eventually hit a wall. We have to remember this for our kids as well and give them the time to be—a time when they aren't doing something structured, and they can give their mind a rest.


August 16, 2021

WELCOME BACK!!! I have missed all of our Shooting Stars and I'm so excited to meet all of our new ones! Back to school time is my favorite! Everyone is fresh-faced and ready to start a new year. The beginning of the school year means new teachers, new friends, and new experiences. Here are some questions that you can ask your child to help you learn more about their day!

1. Was today a good day or a bad day?

2. What did you like better today: snack time or circle time?

3. Who did you play with today?

4. Did anybody get in trouble today?

5. Did anyone do anything funny at school today?

6. What made you feel the happiest today?

7. What games did you play at recess?

8. When did you feel most proud of yourself today?

9. Tell me one new thing you learned today.

10. What made you laugh today?

11. Did anyone do anything nice for you today?

12. What challenged you today?

13. What was the nicest thing you did for someone else today?

14. Who brought the best food in their lunch today? What was it?

15. How would you rate your day on a scale of one to 10?

16. If one of your friends could be the teacher for the day, who would you want it to be?

17. What’s your teacher’s most important rule, and did anyone break it today?

18. Does your teacher remind you of anyone else you know?

19. What did you have fun learning today?

20. What’s one thing you did today that helped a friend or your teacher?